This article was co-authored by Allen Wagner, MFT, MA and by wikiHow staff writer, Janice Tieperman. Allen Wagner is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Los Angeles, California. After working as a therapist at the Children’s Bureau and Penny Lane Centers, he opened his own practice in 2008. Allen works with both individuals and couples and has 20 years of experience as a therapist. Allen specializes in helping clients improve their relationships, assisting people in managing life transitions, improving communication in all environments, and identifying realistic and positive goals. Alongside his wife Talia Wagner, he authored the book "Married Roommates". He received an MA in Psychology from Pepperdine University and a BA in Film and Creative Writing from the University of Arizona.
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If you’ve hit a rough patch in your relationship, you’re in good company. For better or for worse, most relationships come with high and low points. Don’t worry. We’ve put together some psychologist-backed tips and tricks that will help you connect and communicate with your partner in a healthy, productive way.
Steps
Overcome Dating Challenges with this Expert Series
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I change my relationship?Klare Heston, LCSWKlare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
Licensed Social WorkerThe thing you have control over is YOU, not your partner. Identify behaviors that you and your spouse have discussed in the past. Begin to address them and make small changes. In the meantime, stop making any negative comments to your spouse.
Tips
References
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-steps-to-better-communication-today
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201704/10-tips-solving-relationship-conflicts
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/become-a-better-listener-active-listening
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/close-encounters/201704/10-tips-solving-relationship-conflicts
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201410/6-steps-repairing-your-relationship
- ↑ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/which-of-these-four-attachment-styles-is-yours/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201410/6-steps-repairing-your-relationship
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/how-to-change-your-attachment-style
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201301/6-ways-you-can-fix-your-relationship-your-own
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/201208/relationship-repair-10-tips-thinking-therapist
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/201208/relationship-repair-10-tips-thinking-therapist
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201410/6-steps-repairing-your-relationship
- ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/how-to-fix-a-relationship/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201410/6-steps-repairing-your-relationship
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201410/6-steps-repairing-your-relationship
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/topics/money/conflict
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/infidelity/art-20048424
About This Article
To fix a relationship, talk to your partner whenever something is bothering you, even if it's small, so you're not bottling up your feelings. Although it's not always easy, try your best to stay calm when you talk to them about how you feel, and avoid blaming them or bringing up the past. Once you've been honest with each other, focus on reconnecting with your partner by making time for them every day, going on regular dates again, and being affectionate. For tips from our reviewer on how to overcome relationship hurdles, read on!
Reader Success Stories
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"It helped me realize I need concrete solutions to my problems. Talking about problems often and what is going well is a good habit for people who bottle things up, such as me."..." more