How to Flirt With Your Girlfriend

Co-authored by Laura Bilotta

Last Updated: July 9, 2024 Approved

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Just because you've finally gotten the girl of your dreams doesn't mean the fun of flirting has to stop! Work to keep your girl interested—and more into you than ever—by flirting with her on a regular basis. Be confident. Chances are that she'll appreciate the attention!

Quick Steps

Put your arm around her or hug her from behind to make her feel wanted.
Compliment her appearance and talents, or tell her what you admire about her.
Joke with her and be goofy to make her laugh.
Write sweet notes for her to find at home, school, or work.
Take her on spontaneous dates, from going to the movies to taking a weekend trip.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Keeping the Flame Alive

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Go out of your way to touch her, look at her, and create sexual attention. Make her feel wanted! You may notice that you aren't doing these things because you're embarrassed, or insecure, or unsure of how she will react. If she is your girlfriend, and you've been intimate with each other, and you're attracted to her, then you don't need to hold back. Let your hormones take control from time to time, and show her that she is the object of your animal urges.
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Use your eyes. Let your gaze rest on her when she's working on something, when she's in the other room, or when she just looks particularly beautiful. Do not worry about being weird! You're attracted to her, and she's attracted to you, and there's nothing wrong with owning that dynamic by staring at her.^{[1]
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- When she asks you what you're looking at, tell her how beautiful she looks. Only say it if you truly mean it!
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Do not hesitate to flirt with your girlfriend. She is your girlfriend because the two of you have entered into a verbal agreement – so there's a pretty good chance that she likes you and wants your attention. Many people find confidence sexy. Own it!
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Touch her. Don't be afraid to get casually physical. Touch is one of the most powerful ways to build attraction and sexual tension. ^{[2]
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Research source} However, it doesn't need to be overtly sexual. A light touch can be enough to signal that you're thinking about her, and it can go a long way toward reestablishing intimacy.
- Put your arm around her when you're watching a movie, or hug her from behind while she's standing at the counter. Run your fingers through her hair. Touch her arm, gently, when you pass her in the hall.
- Don't be afraid to get more sexual if you're comfortable being intimate with one another. Grab her butt, or caress her thigh. If you're in a private place: walk up behind her, put your hands around her waist, and grind slowly into her body.
- Hold her hand! This is a great way to flirt, and it can also break the touch barrier if you're in a new relationship. You don't need to come up with a reason to hold her hand; if you feel it, do it.
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Interview. 7 July 2020.} Even if you are upset, or stressed out, or thinking about something else: take the time to be present and smile a lot in her presence. There's something about a guy's smile that can really turn a girl on. Girls like genuine smiles, not just flirtatious smiles. Don't try too hard on this one. Just think positive thoughts and let your face do the work. ^{[4]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Being Romantic

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Appreciate her. Every day, find the opportunity to compliment her about small things: tell her that she's beautiful, or that you love it when she sings, or that you admire the way that she stood up to her frustrating boss. Don't just recycle the same compliments! Try to think of something new to say. This is not just about giving her a compliment – it's about challenging yourself to continually appreciate your girlfriend for the unique, beautiful, and always-growing human being that she is.
- Find unique and genuine ways to phrase your compliments. Don't just say, "You're really beautiful." Say, "Sometimes I am just so captivated by how gorgeous you are. I can't stop staring at you today."
A romantic declaration isn't always as playful as some of the other flirting methods, but it can make your girlfriend feel warm, safe, and loved. She might even respond to your words with a physical demonstration of that love! It's always important to check in with your partner and affirm your feelings, especially if you think that she might feel insecure about the state of your relationship. Tell her that you love her, or that you really like her, or just that you think she's awesome. When you feel it, say it!
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Write notes. Send her a sweet "good morning" text message to wake up to. Leave a physical note on her bathroom mirror, her car window, or her locker at school. Make her a card, or draw her a picture, or write her a poem. Tell her that you love her, or that she is awesome, or that you're thinking of her. The medium and the message don't matter so much as the act of showing her that you care. ^{[5]
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- If she is having a big day, write her a note that encourages her and inspires her. "Go get 'em, tiger! You're brilliant, and you're going to ace this test today!" or "You've got this. Play hard and good luck!"
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Give her something sweet. Bring her flowers, or a box of chocolates, or a book that you think she'd like. Bake something for her, or make something for her, or give her something pretty that you've found. You never need a reason to give your girlfriend a thoughtful gift. ^{[6]
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- The gift can be something incredibly simple. When you meet up with her, bring her favorite snack or a bottle of her favorite drink. It is truly the thought that counts.
- Ask her what her favorite flower is. Not every girl has a favorite flower – but many do. You can use this knowledge again and again, or you can surprise her with new flower types that make you think of her.
- Consider hand-making something for her. Write her a song, or paint her a picture, or fold a piece of origami, or whittle her something from a piece of wood. She will appreciate the time you spend.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Making Time for Her

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Using your sense of humor is a wonderful way to flirt around. It's good to be able to talk about serious things – but don't let your relationship itself become too starchy and serious! Relax and have fun every once in a while.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Interview. 7 July 2020.} Don't be afraid to get goofy and let your true self shine!
2
Be present. Put away your phone, your computer, and your other devices when she's around. If you are always fixated on other things when you're hanging out with your girlfriend, she might feel as though you don't value her time. Listen to her, and make it clear that she has your full attention. This is one of the simplest ways to make your girlfriend—or anyone, really—feel wanted and appreciated.
- Keep perspective. Your phone isn't going to go anywhere. You can call that person back. Indeed, it can be a great, simple romantic gesture if you make a show of seeing your phone buzz, then decisively turning it off and putting it away.
- If you absolutely need to take a call or send a text, just explain yourself and get it over with. Say, "I'm sorry to be rude and text while we're at dinner! I just want to send this quick text to my brother so that I can give you my full attention."
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Take her out. Set some plans in advance, but remember to be spontaneous! Create new experiences together, and make her feel as though her life is an adventure. This can be as simple as a trip to the movies, or as involved as a spur-of-the-moment trip to Hawaii. It can be easy to fall into a routine when you're always going to the same places and doing the same things together. She's your girlfriend, now, but that doesn't mean that you should stop dating her!
- Take her on a trip for the day or the weekend. Go camping, or to the beach, or to a new city. Shake the patterns of the everyday, and see how it spices up your love life!
- Find something that neither of you have ever done before. Explore the world together. Choose experiences that enrich and excite you both.
Not every girl likes surprises. If she does, however, a mystery date or an unexpected visit to her workplace can be a great way to show her that you're thinking about her. Building anticipation can also be a great way to create sexual tension and get her thinking about you.

Expert Q&A

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Question

What should I say when flirting with my girlfriend?

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms.

Laura Bilotta

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

One way to flirt with your girl is to compliment her. Don't just tell her that you appreciate her physical beauty. Let her know that you appreciate her personality, her creativity, her intellect—the things that really make her who she is.

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Question

How can I keep my relationship strong?

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach & Matchmaker
Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms.

Laura Bilotta

Dating Coach & Matchmaker

Expert Answer

To give your relationship its best chance, work on communication, learn to compromise, and go out of your way to do small things for your significant other whenever you can.

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If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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Tips

Don't tell her that you are flirting, or ask permission to flirt. The whole point of flirting is that it is a natural extension of your attraction, and of the agreement that you've made to be in this relationship together. Own it and show her that you like her!

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Flirt with her even in mixed company. Don't be afraid to let her friends see you flirting with her!

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