How to Flirt on Instagram: The Ultimate Guide to Instagram Flirting Rules

Co-authored by John Keegan and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: May 31, 2024 Fact Checked

Has someone caught your eye and made you feel butterflies as you’re scrolling through your Insta feed? Even though Instagram isn’t a dating app, it’s still the perfect place to message and flirt with your crush. If you’re ready to break the ice, look no further! We’ve put together a ton of helpful tips on how to flirt on Instagram like a pro.

1

Follow them first.

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They may check out your profile when they see you've followed them. If you aren’t following your crush on Insta, tap the button on their profile so you get all the updates from their feed. Since your crush also gets a notification when you follow them, your name will be fresh in their head and they may even follow you back if they’re interested too.
- You can still watch your crush’s story and send a DM without following them, but they’re less likely to see your messages.
- Reader Poll: We asked 1050 wikiHow readers, and 54% of them agreed that it’s important to follow your crush on social media before you slide into their DMs. [Take Poll]

2

Post a few sexy selfies.

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If your crush follows you back, give them a few things to look at on your profile. Share flattering pictures of yourself and exciting things from your life in your feed and your story. If your crush is interested in you too, they’ll like a few of your pics and comment on your posts too.^{[1]
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3

Like a few of their recent pics.

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Your crush will see your name in their notifications and know you’re interested. Scroll through your crush’s Insta grid for a few posts that you really love, and double-tap them to give them a like. Rather than only liking their selfies, like a couple of their other pics too to show that you’re interested in more than looks.^{[2]
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- Stick to more recent photos so it doesn’t look like you were creeping back too far.

4

Leave comments on their posts.

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Comments are a good way to casually show you’re into someone. Try to phrase your comments as questions so you can start a conversation. They'll appreciate that you’re curious about their posts and may just respond to your comment.
- If they post a pic of the beach, you might say, “That looks beautiful!! Where were you?” or, “That looks like a lot of fun 🙂 Did you have a nice time?”
- If your crush shares a selfie, you could respond with “That outfit is 🔥 where’d you get it?” or, “Wow, you look amazing! What are you so dressed up for?”

5

Respond to their stories.

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Reply and react to what they share for an easy in to their DMs. Your crush sees when you look at their story, so be sure to watch each one so they know you’re checking them out. If you aren’t sure what to say, just tap the heart icon or send one of the emoji reactions that pop up. If you want to ask your crush a question or make a comment, type something fun and light-hearted to privately send it right to their inbox!^{[3]
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- For example, if they post a meal they’re eating, you might say, “I love that place! How did you like it?”^{[4]
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  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.}
- If they share a selfie, you could respond with, “Looking great 😍.”
- If they post a funny picture, you could say, “LOL 😂 you have to tell me the story behind this!”

6

Slide into their DMs.

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Send a private message to show them you’re serious. If you don’t want everyone else seeing what you’re saying, take a chance with a direct message. Break the ice by introducing yourself or mentioning something they’ve posted so you can start chatting.^{[5]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.} Let the conversation flow naturally between topics and just be yourself to show off your good side.^{[6]
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- If your crush posted a vacation pic, you might start the convo with, “Your vacation looked absolutely stunning! What was your favorite part?
- If they posted a selfie, you could say, “You have to tell me what filters you used because you looked incredible in your last pic.”
- If you have some mutual connections, try saying, “Wow, we have so many mutual friends. How haven’t we met each other yet?”

7

Share a funny meme.

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Make them laugh to show off your sense of humor. Look through your crush’s stories and posts to get an idea of their sense of humor. If you find a relatable meme on Instagram, tag them in the comments so they go find the post. You could also send the meme directly to their DMs if you want to keep your conversation a little more private.^{[7]
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- After you send the meme, you could say something like, “OMG this reminds me so much of you 😂” or, “Remind you of anyone 😉.”

8

Ask them open-ended questions.

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Get the conversation going so you can learn more about your crush. Open-ended questions start with “what” or “how” so your crush has to reply with a longer answer. You could ask them general icebreaker questions or learn more about what they like to do in their free time.^{[8]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.} After they answer, reply with your response to keep your conversation going.^{[9]
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- You could ask, “What movies have you loved recently?” or, “What do you like to do when you’re not working?”
- Icebreaker questions could include, “What’s your favorite memory from growing up?” or “If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?”

9

Give them a compliment.

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Turn up the heat and flatter them with a few nice words. Stick to giving comments in the person’s DMs so their other followers don’t see what you said. Mention something that you really admire about their looks or personality. They'll probably appreciate your compliments and realize that you’re serious about how you’re feeling.
- You might say, “Wow, you look amazing in that dress 😍” or, “I’ve never seen your hair styled like that. It looks really good!”
- You could also try something like, “You always know the perfect thing to say to help me cheer up!” or, “You’re such a good listener. I really appreciate that you’re always there to chat!”

10

Send a flirty selfie.

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Snap a quick pic to make your crush miss you more. Since the picture is for your crush’s eyes only, you can get a little more flirty than you would in a public post. Tease them a little more by flashing your best smile, wearing a flattering outfit, or showing a bit of skin. Just avoid sending any nude pics until you know your crush better (and it’s consensual).
- Add a caption to your pic to get the conversation going. You might say, “Just got these clothes, do you like how they fit? 😉” or, “Do you miss me yet? 😘”

11

Ask if they want to get together IRL.

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You can really test your chemistry when you hang out in person. If you’ve gotten their attention and have been chatting for a little while, find out if your crush wants to hang out or go on a date. Ask for their number so you can text and call off the app, and try to figure out a time where you can meet face-to-face.^{[10]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.}
- Say something like, “I’ve had so much fun chatting with you here. Want to grab a coffee sometime?”
- You could also try sending them, “I think we’d have so much fun together. Here’s my number so we can set something up!”
- If you can’t get together in person, set up a video call so you can still chat face-to-face.

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Warnings

Be careful not to come on too strong or say inappropriate things since you could make your crush uncomfortable.^{[11]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 19 August 2021.}

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If your crush doesn’t respond to you or only replies with brief messages, it might be a sign that they’re not interested. That's okay—there are plenty of other people on Instagram to flirt with!

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