What is “Rizz” and How Do You Get It?

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Everything you need to know to rizz up your crush

Co-authored by Annabelle Reyes Reviewed by John Keegan

Last Updated: December 5, 2024 Fact Checked

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• How to Get Rizz
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• What is “rizz”?
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• Why is it important to have rizz?
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• Video

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If you’ve been on TikTok recently, you’ve probably heard the slang term “rizz.” But what does rizz actually mean, and how do you get more of it? If you’re looking for the answers to these questions, you’ve come to the right place! We’ll explain what rizz is and go over the steps you can take to increase your rizz in your dating life. Keep reading for everything you need to know!

7 Ways to Get More Rizz

1. Build up your self-confidence.
2. Make eye contact, smile, and use open body language.
3. Ask lots of questions.
4. Practice active listening.
5. Cultivate a good sense of humor.
6. Find your personal sense of style.
7. Share the things you’re passionate about.

Steps

Section 1 of 3:

How to Get Rizz

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1. 1
   Build up your confidence. Don’t worry, this doesn’t mean that you have to be the most extroverted person out there. Rizz is more about being secure in who you are and comfortable in your own skin, rather than being overly showy or ostentatious. When you carry yourself with this self-assurance, people are naturally drawn to you! Here are some tips to help you build up your self-confidence:

   • Make a list of your positive qualities and achievements. To start out, try to list at least 5 qualities, and add to it regularly as you think of new things.
   • Practice positive self-talk. Instead of letting your inner critic run wild, talk to yourself the way you would talk to someone you love. Be kind and supportive toward yourself, rather than cutting yourself down.
   • Try not to compare yourself to others, as this can easily damage your self-esteem. Remind yourself that everyone is different, and your individuality is what makes you so amazing.
2. 2
   Maintain open body language. Body language can easily reveal how confident or insecure a person is, which makes it a huge part of “unspoken rizz.” To exude as much charm and charisma as possible with your body language, try to follow these tips:

   • Stand up tall, and try not to hunch over.
   • Keep your arms open, rather than crossing them across your chest.
   • Face people or angle your body toward them when conversing.
   • Lean in toward others while they’re talking to show interest.
   • Do your best to maintain eye contact when talking to others.
   • When you’re talking, gesture with your hands to show enthusiasm.
   • React with appropriate facial expressions while someone is talking to show that you’re engaged.
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3. 3
   Ask lots of questions. People enjoy talking about themselves, so they tend to find people who ask lots of questions more likable. To win a crush over, ask them questions about their life and their thoughts, and show genuine interest in their answers. This is a surefire way to increase your rizz and get a great conversation going!
4. 4
   Practice active listening. Rizz isn’t just about capturing people’s attention with your own personality—it’s also about making people feel heard, valued, and important. Active listening is an important conversational skill, and it can help you connect more deeply with the person you’re talking to and leave a positive impression on them. Here are some tips to follow:

   • Paraphrase what someone has just said and repeat it back to them to show that you’re truly engaged and paying attention.
   • Ask thoughtful follow-up questions to show that you’re interested in deepening the conversation.
   • React with appropriate facial expressions and exclamations when someone is telling a story.
   • Be careful not to dominate the conversation, and make sure you’re each talking an equal amount.
5. 5
   Cultivate your sense of humor. Humor has long been associated with attractiveness and charisma. In fact, research has shown that people with a good sense of humor tend to be perceived as more attractive and suitable as a partner than those who lack a sense of humor. If you want to increase your rizz and become more skilled at flirting, humor is a good place to start!

   • When you’re talking to someone you like, tell a funny story about something wild or interesting that’s happened to you, or pepper a few jokes into the conversation.
   • Be careful not to overdo it. You want the humor to feel natural, not like you’re trying to perform a stand-up routine.
   • Wait for the conversation to reach a point where you can naturally tell a funny story or make a funny comment, then go for it!
6. 6
   Share your passions. People who are enthusiastic about their personal interests tend to be very magnetic and charismatic. So, if you have a hobby or a career that you’re especially passionate about, don’t be afraid to talk about it! Your excitement and positive energy will be infectious, which can definitely increase your rizz.
7. 7
   Take care of your appearance and show off your personal style. How you present yourself greatly impacts your rizz levels. When you take care of your appearance, dress well, and maintain impeccable personal hygiene, you’re much more likely to come across as charismatic and attractive.

   • Dressing well looks different for everyone, and there isn’t one specific style guide or trend you need to follow. Just make sure to wear things you feel comfortable in and that reflect your unique personality.
   • When it comes to personal hygiene, make sure to follow the basics. Shower regularly, wear deodorant, and brush your teeth. These things are all super important for flirting and dating!
8. 8
   Work on emotional intelligence. People who are very charismatic also tend to be very emotionally intelligent. This means that they can convey their own emotions easily and accurately, and they can also read and understand the emotions of others. Here are some tips to build your emotional intelligence (EQ) and boost your rizz:

   • Work on recognizing and naming your emotions. For example, when you’re in the middle of a stressful situation, pause and ask yourself what you’re feeling. Try to name the specific emotions that come up, and be as specific as possible.
   • Build your empathy. When you see someone experiencing a strong emotion, put yourself in their shoes and ask yourself, “How would I feel if I were in their situation?”
   • Read more fiction. Studies show that reading literature and experiencing stories from other people’s perspectives can increase empathy, which can in turn increase emotional intelligence.
9. 9
   When you like someone, be direct. It can be scary to ask someone out on a date or let them know that you have romantic feelings for them, but if you don’t put yourself out there, you’ll never know. Take that leap of faith and make your feelings known.

   • If you get turned down, that’s alright! There are tons of reasons why someone might turn down a date, and it doesn’t mean you aren’t awesome and deserving of love. Dust yourself off and get back out there!
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Section 2 of 3:

What is “rizz”?

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1. 1
   “Rizz” is the ability to charm and attract others in the context of dating. The slang term exploded in popularity on TikTok in 2022, and it’s technically short for “charisma.” If someone has “rizz,” they attract romantic partners easily with their confidence, and they’re viewed as desirable by others in the dating world. They also tend to have great flirting and conversational skills.

   • A synonym for “rizz” would be the older slang term “game.”
   • For example, when referring to someone who is very skilled at flirting, you could say “he’s got some serious rizz,” instead of “he’s got some serious game.”
2. 2
   There are several variations of the slang term “rizz” you can use. First off, “rizz” can be a verb (“She’s got a lot of rizz”) or a noun (“He rizzed her up at the mall yesterday”). When used as a verb, “rizz” essentially means “flirted with” or “charmed.”

   • You can also say that someone has “unspoken rizz,” which means that they exude confidence and charisma through their body language.
   • You may also hear people referring to “W rizz” and “L rizz,” which essentially means strong or weak rizz. For example, if someone is very charming, they have “W rizz.”
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Section 3 of 3:

Why is it important to have rizz?

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1. Rizz can help you connect with people more easily. People who have rizz tend to be confident, self-assured, and comfortable in their own skin. Having rizz doesn’t mean being conceited or cocky; it simply means being true to yourself and secure in who you are, to the point that others are drawn to you and want to be around you. All of these qualities can make it easier to find a romantic partner, make good friends, and navigate social situations in general.

   • In other words, getting more rizz isn’t just about getting more dates or becoming more attractive romantically.
   • It’s also about becoming more comfortable in who you are, which allows you to connect with people on a deeper level.
   

   Esther Perel, Psychotherapist

   Social interaction is beneficial for us. "Social connection is essential for body and mind and spirit. It's the meaning of life. It helps us on so many levels. Longevity relates to social connection. Immunity relates to social connection. These things are all part of the importance of friendships."

Join the Discussion...

How do I rizz up a girl I just met?

69

WikiMountainCat42

I keep seeing this beautiful girl at a cafe I study at, and I really want to talk to her. But I feel so awkward. What do I do? How do I get her t... Read More

8

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Great question. The first thing to do is to always go back to step one, which is your own mindset and way of being. For you to approach her in th... Read More

5

WikiMongooseChaser121

Fully agree on the eye contact thing. Makes it so much easier to break the ice and then you’re already halfway to starting a conversation. If s... Read More

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