How to Get Someone to Like You

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Show off your best traits with these tips to get people to like you

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: November 23, 2024 References

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Being Approachable

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Showing Your Interest

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Being Yourself

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Using Positive Energy

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Conversation Help

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It's not entirely in your control whether someone likes you or not, but you can positively influence their decision. Increase the chances of someone liking you—whether a new friend or a romantic interest—by smiling and being of good cheer when you're around them. It's also a good idea to find out their interests and get them talking. No matter what, be sure to be yourself. If they can't like you for who you are, they're not worth the effort anyway!

Quick Tips to Get Someone to Like You

Give the person a genuine smile when you see them.
Use open, relaxed body language to help them feel comfortable around you.
Make them feel special by remembering their name and details that they share.
Be interested in learning about their hobbies and the things they like.
Offer sincere compliments to make them feel good.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Making Yourself Attractive and Approachable

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1
Practice good personal hygiene. Before you meet with the person, take care of basic grooming: shower, comb your hair, brush/floss your teeth, apply deodorant, and put on fresh clothing. You might also chew mint gum and lightly spritz on perfume or cologne.^{[1]
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- When you look and smell your best, you feel great. As a result, you come off as more confident and likeable to others.
A real smile conveys interest and excitement about the other person, so show your pearly whites when you greet them. Smiling when you see the person also makes you appear more attractive and likeable.^{[2]
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Display good posture and open body language. How you hold your body can make you appear more confident and encourage others to approach you. Sit up straight, pull your shoulders back, and lift your chin. Uncross your arms and legs, make eye contact, and turn to face the person. ^{[3]
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- You might also power pose to seem more confident by placing your hands on your hips or folding your arms behind your head to form an inverted triangle.
- Whatever pose you choose, make sure it's relaxed, not forced. Forced body language looks awkward and makes people think that you're trying to put on a show. You may want to practice open, confident body language when you're alone.
4
Remember their name and something about them. Remembering and using someone's name makes them feel special, so use it regularly in conversation. You can also show you like them (and ultimately make them like you) by following up on some tidbit of information you know about them.^{[4]
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- For example, you might say, “Hey, Noah! How did that math test go?” if the last time you spoke they mentioned having to study.
- Resist the urge to cyber stalk them to learn their interests. If you start talking to them about an interest they haven't told you about, the situation could get awkward. They may also draw the conclusion that you have an unhealthy interest in them.
5
Respect others' boundaries and personal space. You want to increase the odds of someone liking you by avoiding any awkwardness or discomfort. Recognize their personal space by standing at least an arm's length away when talking. Also, don't pry into their personal business or bring up sensitive topics.^{[5]
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- Once you're sure the person likes you, you can move closer during conversation.
- Also, they may eventually feel more comfortable disclosing personal topics once they know you better.
- Respecting boundaries also applies to social media. Don't flood the person's social media profiles or push your virtual relationship further than is appropriate for your level of in-person relationship. The person could see your advances as out of place and inappropriate.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Showing Your Interest

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1
Get them talking about their hobbies and interests. If you can spot some common interests that the two of you share, that's a great place to steer the conversation. If not, ask some open-ended questions to learn more about what the person likes. Also, a good way to attract this person is to become friends with them and create a bond! ^{[6]
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- For example, you might ask, “What brings you to this conference?” or “What sort of music do you like?”
- Open-ended questions require more expansive answers that keep the conversation going.
2
Make a thoughtful gesture. Do something for the person without them asking. However, make sure that you aren't acting inappropriately. Choose something that would commonly be done by a friend or acquaintance, whichever is appropriate for your relationship.
- For example, if they miss a class, ask them if they want a copy of your notes. If they're ill, bring them chicken noodle soup.
3
Be an attentive listener. People enjoy talking about themselves, so let them. Orient to face them and listen to their entire message without interrupting.^{[7]
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- Once they pause, paraphrase what they said back to them to be sure you're clear on what they're sharing. This lets them know that you're truly listening and provides the chance for them to clear up any misunderstandings so that you fully get their message.
- Listen with your whole body. Make eye contact with the other person, lean forward a bit, nod in agreement or understanding.
- Keep in mind that if you spend the whole time talking about yourself, you won't get to know the person better, and they may not think you’re interested in them. Let them do most of the talking.
4
Pay them a compliment. Compliments make people feel special, but it also endears them to you. Comment on their appearance, a particular skill they have, or an insight they make during conversation. Try not to focus on only one area, like appearance.^{[8]
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- Say, “Cool shirt! I'm a Harry Potter fan, too" or “Wow, that's a really neat idea!”
5
Make them laugh. People like people of good cheer, so make a witty remark or tell a joke. Laughing together helps strengthen your bond. As a result, the person will look at you more favorably.^{[9]
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- Dance a little jig to show you're happy, gently tease them, or send them a funny meme. Making them laugh will certainly make them like you even more than they already do!
6
Ask them for help or advice. Naturally, people are attracted to people who are able to accept guidance and are willing to learn. Plus, if someone gives you advice or helps you in some way, they'll feel bonded to you since you typically help people you care about.^{[10]
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- You might say, “Hey, I remember you said you're good with computers. My laptop keeps freezing up. Can you take a look at it for me, please?”
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Do a favor. The same logic that ensures someone will like you if you ask them for help works in reverse. Help the person in some small way and they will like you even more.^{[11]
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- If you know the person always forgets their pencil when they come to class, have one ready for them. If they desperately need someone to watch their pet over the weekend, offer to do it.
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Prioritize spending time with them. Typically, people want to spend time with people who act like they want to spend time with them, so show the person that you enjoy their company. When you depart, tell them how much fun you had and how much you're looking forward to hanging out again.^{[12]
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- This also means being there when you say you will. If you say you'll hang out on Thursday, don't flake on them to hang with someone else.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Being Yourself

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1
Let your quirks show. You may think it's a good idea to act totally cool in front of this person. In reality, they’ve got quirks and they'll feel much more comfortable around you if you don't hide yours. Sing a tad off-key without being embarrassed, confess that you still watch your favorite childhood cartoons, or admit that you dip your fries in barbecue sauce.^{[13]
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- Sharing the little silly things that define you will bring you closer to the other person. Also, a minor disclosure deepens your relationship, since you probably haven't told everyone this information.
2
Communicate honestly, but with tact. Most people like others who are able to give it to them straight. Lying or fudging the truth may make you seem untrustworthy, so aim to be truthful. You should still exercise tact, though.^{[14]
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- For instance, if the person asks if you like their favorite movie, say “Hmm, it's not really my thing, but I did like the main character's personality. I can see why you like him—he's hilarious!” Don't say, “No, I hate that movie!”
3
Stand behind your values and beliefs. One thing that's distinctive about you is the principles and convictions that you hold dear. Those things are at the core of who you are, so it's important to stay true to yourself, even at the risk of someone not liking you.^{[15]
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- Sticking to your beliefs takes courage. It's not easy to be the one who stands up to a bully or refuses to go along with a harmful or dangerous prank. Being true to yourself might make you unpopular with some people but could also attract those with whom you share common values.
4
Respect yourself. Having healthy self-respect means you like yourself no matter what. When you're communicating with others, avoid comparing yourself to others or belittling yourself in any way.^{[16]
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- Remind yourself of your strengths by listing them out to yourself. You might say, “I'm a great listener” or “I can make people laugh.”
- Respecting yourself also means not doing anything that goes against your personal beliefs or values.
- Self-respect is key to earning respect from others. It's difficult for people to treat you with real regard if you don't treat yourself well.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Using Positive Energy

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1
Set your intention. When you have a clear intention, it helps you focus your thoughts, energy, and actions toward your desired outcome.
- Take some time to think about what kind of love you want to manifest. Do you want a long-term relationship or a casual one? What kind of qualities are important to you in a partner? How do you want to feel in the relationship? What are you looking for in a relationship?
- Writing down your intentions can be helpful in clarifying what you want to attract. You could try writing a letter to your future partner, creating a vision board, or keeping a journal of your thoughts and feelings about love. You can also write them in a specific format depending on what manifestation method you are using.
- Try to frame your intentions in positive language. For example, instead of saying “I don’t want to be alone anymore,” you could say “I am ready for a loving relationship.” This helps you focus on what you want to attract, rather than what you want to avoid.
- Remember that you are deserving of love and trust that the universe will bring the right person into your life at the right time.
- It’s also important to be open to receiving love in unexpected ways and to take action towards manifesting-love, such as joining a dating app or pursuing hobbies that interest you.
2
Visualize your ideal relationship. Visualizing your ideal relationship involves using your imagination to create a mental picture of what you want your relationship to look like, feel like, and be like
- Find a quiet, comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed. Take some deep breaths and try to relax your body and mind.
- Close your eyes and imagine yourself in a happy, loving relationship with your ideal partner. Picture yourself doing things together that make you feel happy and fulfilled.
- Use all of your senses to make the visualization more vivid. What does your partner look like? What do they sound like? What does it feel like to be around them?
- Focus on the positive aspects of the relationship. What do you love about your partner? What do you enjoy doing together? How do they make you feel?
- Allow yourself to feel the emotions associated with your visualization. If you feel happy, grateful, or loved, try to fully embrace those feelings and let them wash over you.
- Try to hold onto this visualization for a few minutes, or as long as you feel comfortable. When you’re finished, take some deep breaths and try to carry those positive feelings with you throughout your day.
3
Call out your limiting beliefs.
- Identify your limiting beliefs. What negative thoughts or beliefs do you have about yourself or your relationships? Write them down and try to identify where they come from.
- Challenge your beliefs. Ask yourself if your beliefs are true and if they are still serving you. Try to see them from a new perspective and consider how they might be holding you back.
- Replace your limiting beliefs with positive affirmations. For example, if you believe that you’re not good enough for a loving relationship, try telling yourself “I am worthy of love and deserve a happy, healthy relationship.”
- Visualize your ideal relationship. Use visualization techniques to create a mental picture of the kind of relationship you want to attract. This can help you overcome limiting beliefs and focus on what you truly want.
- Surround yourself with positivity. Seek out positive influences, whether it’s friends who support you, uplifting books or podcasts, or motivational quotes. This can help you stay focused on your goals and break free from limiting beliefs.
4
Live with the Physical Law of the Universe.
- Physical laws of the universe are vital for manifestation. The physical laws of the universe govern everything in the universe, so if you can tap into such universal power, you can almost certainly manifest anything you desire into your real life.
- According to the law of attraction, when people focus on positive thoughts and feelings, they will attract positive experiences and circumstances into their lives, while focusing on negative thoughts and feelings will attract negative experiences.
- This law is often associated with the idea that “like attracts like” and that people can manifest their desires through positive thinking and visualization. By shifting your energy and thinking to align with your desired outcome (expect someone to like you in this case), you can eventually attract the necessary situations and opportunities to make it a reality.
5
Say affirmations to make someone obsessed with you.
- I am deserving of love and affection.
- I am open to receiving love from the right person.
- I am ready to attract the perfect partner into my life.
- I radiate love and positivity, attracting the same energy in return.
- I trust the universe to bring me the love and relationship that I desire.
- I release any fears or doubts about love and open my heart to new experiences.
- I am grateful for the love and abundance in my life.
- I choose to love and accept myself unconditionally, attracting the same love from others.
- I am worthy of a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
- I attract loving and supportive people into my life.
6
Use the 3-6-9 manifestation method.
- Write your intention statement three times in the morning, six times in the afternoon, and nine times at night after “I am in a loving and committed relationship with my ideal partner.” Use a pen and paper, and write your statement as if it’s already happened.
- Visualize yourself already in the loving relationship that you desire. Feel the emotions of joy, happiness, and gratitude as if it has already happened.
- Repeat this process every day for at least 21 days or until your intention becomes a reality. Keep your intention statement in a place where you can see it regularly, and focus on it often throughout the day.
7
Raise your vibration. Raising your emotional vibration aligns your energy with the energy of the universe and attracts positive experiences into your life.
- Focus on the things you’re grateful for in your life, including the love and relationships that you already have. Gratitude helps to shift your focus away from lack and towards abundance, raising your emotional vibration.
- Practice self-love. Treat yourself with love and kindness, and focus on your positive qualities. This helps to boost your self-confidence and attract positive experiences into your life.
- Focus on positive thoughts and feelings. Avoid negative self-talk or thoughts that focus on what you don’t want. Instead, cultivate positive thoughts and feelings about love and relationships, such as joy, happiness, and excitement.
- Spend time in nature. Spending time in nature can be a great way to raise your emotional vibration. It helps to reduce stress and anxiety and connects you with the energy of the universe.
- Surround yourself with positive energy. Spend time with people who uplift and support you, and engage in activities that bring you joy and happiness.

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