How to Get a Guy to Talk to You Again: 10 Ways to Grab His Attention

Co-authored by Connell Barrett

Last Updated: June 24, 2024 Fact Checked

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If you’ve been connecting with a guy and he no longer seems interested, that can be really hard. Give yourself a little time to process your emotions and then you can start trying to restart your conversations. It might take some creativity and effort on your part, but the payoff will likely be worth it. Read on for some simple ways to get him talking to you again.

1

Give him some space.

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Respect his needs by backing off. Everyone needs space sometimes, even from people they're into. Maybe your guy needs a break from your relationship, or maybe it has nothing to do with you. Either way, if he tells you he needs some time, give it to him.^{[1]
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- It's understandable if this hurts your feelings. But it's important to respect other people's feelings, so ease up on trying to talk to him all the time.
- You can say something like, "I know you need space, so I'll leave it up to you to reach out when you're ready."
- You're more likely to get him to talk to you again by showing that you are mature and respectful than by crossing his boundaries.
- Reader Poll: We asked 1348 wikiHow readers how they’d handle a partner pulling away, and 52% agreed that they’d give them space to come to a decision on their own. [Take Poll]

2

Apologize if you messed up.

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If he's upset with you, let him know that you are sorry. Maybe the reason that he's not talking to you is that you got in an argument or you did something to offend him. If you feel remorseful, tell him that you are sorry. Be genuine and only say this if you mean it.^{[2]
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- Try saying, "I'm really sorry that I argued with you about your brother. I know you guys are close, and I shouldn't have said what I did."
- Give him time to process and accept your apology. It's okay if he doesn't forgive you immediately. Just back off and let him heal on his own time.

3

Ease back into communicating with him.

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Don't expect things to get back to normal immediately. If you've been on a break or he just hasn't been responding to you lately, he clearly needed a little time for himself. To start talking again, don't text or call him every day. You can reach out to him, but don't follow up if he doesn't immediately respond. Start by being casual and see how things go.^{[3]
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- Try sending a message that says, "Hey, I was just checking in to see how you're doing. Let me know if you feel up to chatting or hanging out sometime."
- It might feel hard to not talk constantly, but it's really important to go slowly. This lets him know that you care about his feelings, and also shows that you're not needy.

4

Ask him for help.

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Lots of guys love to feel needed, so let him do you a favor. If you make a direct request, he might be more likely to respond. Give him a call and let him know that you’re working on something and would love his help. Or make the request if you happen to bump into him around town.^{[4]
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- Try saying, “Hi! I’m so glad I ran into you. I’m looking to buy a new bike and I know you love to ride. Would you mind giving me some pointers on what to look for?” It will be a bonus if he offers to head to the bike shop with you!

5

Make the first move.

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If you want to hang out, ask him what his plans are. Spending a little time together might make him realize that he’s missed talking to you. To get things going again, suggest doing something that you both enjoy. Just try to keep it casual and low-stakes, so that you can sort of ease back into things.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}^{[6]
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- Maybe you have bumped into him at school or work. Say, “Hey, it’s hot out today. Do you want to go grab an iced coffee to cool off and catch up?”

6

Play a little hard to get.

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Ease up on trying to get his attention to give him time to miss you. It sounds counterintuitive, but sometimes the best way to reignite his interest is to be a little unavailable. Keep yourself busy with your friends and hobbies and resist the urge to reach out to him for a week or two. Hopefully, this will pique his interest again.^{[7]
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- If he reaches out, be a little nonchalant. You could try, “Oh, hey! It’s good to hear from you. I’ve been so busy lately I hadn’t thought to touch base.”

7

Be confident instead of needy.

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Confidence is a really attractive quality, so let yourself shine. If he’s stopped talking to you, your confidence might have understandably taken a hit. But use positive self-talk to remind yourself how great you are. Instead of texting or calling and asking why he’s not talking to you, show that you’re okay. Only reach out when you have something to actually tell him.^{[8]
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- If you recently scored a big promotion, let him know. He might be really into how proud you are of yourself.

8

Live your best life.

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Post pics on social media to show you're good on your own. This will remind him how fabulous you are. If he’s not reaching out anymore, keep living your life. And add some social media posts to show him what he’s missing. That doesn’t mean you need to go overboard, though. Any more than a post a day might make him just scroll on by.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}https://positivepsychology.com/live-meaningful-life/</ref>
- Post an Instagram of yourself enjoying time at the lake with your friends. Choose a pic where your smile really shines.

9

Be yourself to show that you are genuine.

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Don’t be afraid to let your personality sparkle. You’re awesome! You don’t have to try to act differently to get him to talk to you again. Just keep living your authentic life and do the things that you enjoy. If they overlap with his interests, even better. Don’t try to act fake or change yourself to grab his attention.^{[10]
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- If he’s not into you the way you are, you might not be missing that much by not talking to him.
- Try to spark up a genuine conversation. If he doesn’t respond, he’s the one that will be missing out.
John Gray, Relationship Counselor and Bestselling Author

Men feel motivated when they sense they're needed, while women feel motivated when they feel cherished. Getting this difference is key for communication. If you want a guy to open up again, come at it knowing he needs to feel needed and respected. It's not about manipulating, but truly understanding and meeting his emotional needs. That can then encourage him to reconnect and communicate more openly.

10

Have fun with friends to show him he's missing out.

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This will also help distract you from dwelling on him. You have extra time on your hands now, so spend it having fun with your besties! Your friends can support you if you're feeling down about missing this guy. As a bonus, he might hear that you're been out and about doing all sorts of fun things.^{[11]
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- Go to concerts or try out a new restaurant in your city. If mutual friends let him know you're out having a blast, that's a bonus!

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Tips

Try to keep it casual rather than repeatedly asking why he's not talking to you.

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Helpful 9 Not Helpful 1
Don't stalk him on social media. That's not likely to spark his interest.

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Helpful 3 Not Helpful 2