Giving & Receiving Gifts: What Does It Mean to Have This Love Language?

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Improve your relationships with the power of love languages

Co-authored by Caroline Heiderscheit Reviewed by Allison Broennimann, PhD

Last Updated: August 16, 2023 Fact Checked

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Overview

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Signs that You’re a Gift Giver

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Misconceptions

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For Gift Givers

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Appealing to Gift Givers

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Expert Interview

A nice piece of jewelry at the holidays, a great book on a birthday—thoughtful presents are the key to the heart of people with "gift giving" (or, "receiving gifts") as their love language. But what else do you need to know? Whether you suspect that your love language is gift giving or want to learn more about how to please a gift-giver in your life, we've covered all the details below. For a complete guide to the love language of "gift giving," scroll down now.

Things You Should Know

People with "gift giving" as their love language feel a special connection to presents. They feel touched by great gifts, and love to give them, too.
Gift givers might pay special attention on big events, like birthdays and anniversaries. They might also consider themselves to be great gifters.
Some believe that people with this love language are materialistic—but that's not true. For many, the price of the gift doesn't matter at all; it's about the gesture.

Section 1 of 5:

Gift Giving as a Love Language: What Does it Mean?

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Gift givers feel especially connected to the act of giving or receiving gifts. Of the 5 love languages, which also include words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch, these people put “presents” at the top of the list. This just means that when these people want to show someone some love, gift-giving is their natural choice. And if given the option, they’d probably prefer a gift to a hug, a compliment, or a date night.^{[1]
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- Love languages can be key to avoiding miscommunication and resentment in relationships—by understanding how a friend or partner naturally shows affection (or wants to receive it), you can forge a deeper bond.
- Gift-givers tend to appreciate that presents are permanent, require thought, and are a concrete gesture.

Section 2 of 5:

Signs that You’re a Gift Giver

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Gift givers are easy to spot—they never show up empty-handed. If you’re not sure about where you fall, take this quiz to determine your love language. There are all kinds of behaviors that point to "Gift Giving" as a love language, and some of them aren't particularly obvious! Did you know, for example, that this love language often loves wrapping their perfect gifts super neatly? It's another way for them to show they care! Check out other surefire signs below:
- You always bring a gift. Dinners, house warmings, everything: you always come with a great gift. When you throw soirees, you’re touched when people do the same for you.
- Holidays are a big deal. The act of swapping big gifts gets you giddy—you think about what you’ll get your family for ages, maybe even keeping notes on your phone.
- You buy presents on trips. Bringing back a festive trinket makes the trip more fun! And you cherish the gifts friends bring back for you.
- You pride yourself on being a great gifter. You know you’re good. You have a knack for finding funny, useful, or heartwarming presents that wow your inner circle.
- You love bringing coffee for friends. Little gifts are the spice of life! Flowers, a chocolate bar, a keychain—it’s all fun. And you love when others do the same for you.
- You can spot a generic gift from miles away. Getting a a gift card for a birthday from someone you love offends you like nothing else.
- You keep everything. To you, every gift is sacred. When someone gets you something special, you tuck it away in a safe place.
- You feel special when people pay for you. Not that you expect it at all, but you do feel loved when someone covers the check.

Section 3 of 5:

Debunking the Misconception

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If gift-giving is your love language, it doesn’t mean you’re materialistic. As we mentioned before, gift-giving is way more about the sentimentality and thought that goes into a truly great gift. It might also be about the solidness of the gesture—you love that this is something you can hold, quantify, return to. You probably love that, unlike a neck massage or an afternoon at the museum, a present is something you can store on your shelf and admire on a rainy day.
- It might originate from your family. For example, maybe your parents were not verbally expressive or not tactile, but whenever they went on a trip, they always came back with a nice souvenir or gift for you.
- It might also have something to do with distrust of other love languages. For example, maybe you dated a serial liar, so now words of affirmation feel empty.
- Plus, most gift givers don’t need their presents to be super expensive. It’s more about the concrete, recognizable gesture: a little trinket or snack still speaks volumes. What matters is to show to a dear person that they are significant and loved.
- On the other hand—maybe you are a little “materialistic.” What’s the problem with that? If you care about having nice things, then it makes sense that you’d love it when someone understands that side of you.

Section 4 of 5:

Relationship Tips if You're a Gift Giver

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Communicate this to your partner. The more you two understand your romantic preferences, the better shot you have at a fulfilling partnership. You might be thinking about love languages because you feel that you and your partner are misaligned. Or, you might be at the start of a new relationship and looking for a casual way to explain your preference. Because of the misconceptions about gift-giving, you may want to focus on explaining yourself fully. Here are some examples:^{[2]
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- Focus on how you feel: “Gifts make me feel special and cared for. Even little things, like a box of chocolates, go such a long way with me.”
- Explain how you feel misaligned: “I feel like you phoned it in with my birthday gift, and that really hurt me. I think gift-giving might be my love language, so I put a lot of effort into your gifts, and I really care about how much effort you put into mine."
- Give more specifics: “I’m not saying that it needs to be expensive or fancy. Gifts of all kinds leave me feeling really touched.”
- Put things in perspective: “I think everybody’s just different. I know you’d rather me help you with something around the house than get you a nice gift, and I’m the opposite. If you told me I could choose between a thoughtful gift and your help with an errand, I’d choose the gift."
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Identify your partner’s love language. If you’re feeling unsatisfied with how your partner shows you appreciation, there’s a chance they may feel the same way about you. By learning your love languages, you can both find ways to better reach your partner with your love. And at the same time, you can learn to see the value and care your partner puts into certain gestures.
- This might help you appreciate your partner’s kind gestures more fully. For instance, say you find out that their love language is quality time. Now, when they cancel plans to stay in with you, you can recognize that in their eyes, this is a meaningful gesture.^{[3]
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Use love languages to show appreciation and create compromise. Love languages can give couples the tools to talk through their wants and needs. Now that you both know one another’s, you can use this knowledge to your advantage. Do your best to satisfy your partner in a way that will make their heart flutter! Use these tips below:^{[4]
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- Words of affirmation: Compliment them 3 times every day. Write love letters. Work hard to explain your feelings fully. Say I love you on the regular.
- Quality time: Set a weekly date night. Call when you have a free minute at work. Never miss an important event. When you’re together, put your phone down.
- Acts of service: Take a task off their to-do list. Offer to pick up groceries. Hold the door for them. Ask them what you can do to help.
- Physical touch: Offer an impromptu massage. Give them a hug after a long day. Throw an arm over their shoulder at dinner. Ask them about their sexual fantasies.

Section 5 of 5:

How to Impress a Gift Giver

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Take birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays seriously. This is a big one! Maybe to you, gifts aren’t a big deal—but if your partner is a gift-giver, they’ll need you to step it up on major events. It’s up to your partner to communicate their expectations honestly, but if you know they’re a gift giver, don’t trust the casual, “Oh, I’m sure whatever you get me will be great…”
- Your partner might not feel comfortable explaining how much they care or guiding you towards the right gift because, to them, the appeal of a great gift is you doing that without being asked.^{[5]
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- If you get stuck, try questioning their friends and family. They might be able to help you brainstorm the perfect gift!
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Don’t underestimate the power of a small gift. Some gift-givers might be more touched by a bigger gift, but don’t feel like that’s all they care about. If you want to make an impression, pick up something small, but thoughtful. That way, you can make your special person smile without breaking the bank.^{[6]
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- You could go with a favorite soft drink, a bottle of nail polish that matches their skin's undertones, or a bouquet of cheap (but beautiful) flowers.
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Use surprises to your advantage. The element of surprise can multiply the effects of a great gift. Remember, a big part of what can make presents meaningful to these people is the thought and care connected to the gift. When your partner imagines you out and about, thinking of them, and feeling overcome with the urge to splurge on their behalf, they’ll be thrilled!^{[7]
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- Pro tip: This doesn’t just have to be physical gifts. If you two are out for a meal and planned to split the bill, pick it up instead. Then, explain why you’re randomly doing this to sweeten the gesture: “I care about you, and I want to show you that. Let me get this one.”
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Keep notes. If you’ve got a gift-giver in your life, this’ll be key. The best gifts can get lost in the shuffle if you’re not careful. When your friend or partner mentions something that they need or want, jot it down. When you notice them struggle with an issue (one that might be fixed with a great, useful gift!), take note. If you’re struck with inspiration, you’ll want to be sure that you don’t forget it!^{[8]
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- Your notes app, Google Docs, or Excel can all be great places to keep track of awesome future presents.
- Try to keep brainstorming ways that you could improve this person’s life. Do they have amazing, creative ideas, but forget to keep track of them? Buy a notebook. Are they always losing their keys? Buy them a decorative bowl to store them in at home.