PDF download Download Article PDF download Download Article

There are a lot of reasons why you may lose touch with a close friend, but we know it’s never easy to move on from someone you care about. It’s completely normal to feel sad letting go of someone you love, but there are a lot of things you can do to work through your feelings. We’ll start with ways to distract yourself and stay busy, and then cover how you can move on and build stronger friendships with others!

1

Distance yourself from them.

PDF download Download Article
  1. It can be really taxing on you if the person keeps trying to reach out to you. Set some boundaries between you and your friend so you’re able to get some space from the relationship. Start by ignoring their messages and replies so you don’t have to talk to them. If they’re persistent and won’t leave you alone, you may need to unfriend or block them.[1]
    • For example, distance yourself from a friend that treats you poorly since you deserve to be happy and supported around the people you care about.
    • The person may be a little upset that you aren’t responding, but remember that it’s important for your own well-being.
  2. Advertisement
2

Stay off social media.

PDF download Download Article
  1. You don’t want to see your friend post about the things they’re doing without you, so consider unfriending or blocking them. However, they might still show up on posts from your mutual friends so you may want to log off completely. Take as long of a social media break as you need so you have time to heal.[2]
    • Even seeing other people’s posts about their friends could make you think about the person you need to let go of.
    • We know that it’s tempting to look at someone’s profile after they ghost you, but it could hurt more when you see their posts. Try chatting with your other friends or watching your favorite TV show to distract yourself.
3

Hide things that remind you of them.

PDF download Download Article
  1. It’s okay if you don’t want to throw away all of the good memories you had with your friend, but seeing them every day won’t help you move on. Take everything that reminds you of your friend and put them in a box or drawer where you won’t think about them.[3]
    • For example, keepsakes from a friend that ghosted you will just make you think of and miss them more if you leave them out.
    • This may mean avoiding places where you and your friend hung out together as well.
    • Remember to look through your social media pages so you can hide or delete posts and pictures with your friends in them.
  2. Advertisement
4

Spend time with your other friends.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Rather than focusing your energy on a toxic person, make a list of all the people that you consider your close friend and reach out to make plans with them. Look for something nice you can do for them, such as writing them an encouraging message or making time to call them, so you can strengthen your bond. Do everything you can to nurture the friendships that you still have since they’ll be there to support you.[4]
    • Tell your friends that you had to end another friendship since they may have gone through something similar and can offer advice.
5

Journal about your feelings.

PDF download Download Article
  1. If you have a lot of pent-up feelings, put them down on paper. Write down all of the emotions and thoughts you have just so you can vent about them. Express why you feel hurt, angry, or confused to help you recognize your feelings and take steps to move on from them.[5]
    • For example, writing down how a toxic friend treated you in tough situations could help you realize they didn’t have your best interests in mind.
    • If you want, you could even express yourself in a letter to your friend. If the letter feels too personal, just keep it to yourself. Otherwise, you can send it, but you may not get a response back.
  2. Advertisement
6

Reflect on what you’re grateful for.

PDF download Download Article
  1. It’s really easy to focus on the negative feelings after losing a friend, but looking at the positives helps you move on faster. Think about the times you shared with your friend that you appreciated and what you were able to learn from them. Try to find the bright side of the experiences you shared so you recognized how much you’ve grown as a person.[6]
    • For example, if you and your friend always tried something new every week, you might be grateful that you’ve become more adventurous because of them.
7

Use positive self-talk.

PDF download Download Article
  1. When you speak negatively about yourself, it mentally puts up roadblocks that make it harder to move on. If you want to live a more positive life, start by saying 1 or 2 positive things about yourself every day. It might feel a little silly at first, but keep it up and it’ll become a quick and easy part of your routine.[7]
    • For example, you could say something like “I deserve the best,” or “I’ll find someone that I can bond with again.”
    • If you’re not sure what to say, imagine what you would say if you were helping a friend going through the same situation.
  2. Advertisement
8

Recognize the qualities you want in friends.

PDF download Download Article
  1. You’re more likely to be friends with people who have similar values and direction in their life. Write down all of the good qualities you bring to a friendship and what you want from people in return. Keep your list in mind when you meet new people to see if they’d make a good friend.[8] [9]
    • For example, you may have let go of a friend that bad-mouthed people behind their back because you value openness and honesty.
    • It’s normal for friends to move in different life directions and change their values as they get older.
11

Find closure.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Reach out to your friend and ask if they’ll talk to you one more time about your friendship. You can have the conversation face-to-face or over text if that makes it easier. Ask them for clarity about why they want to move on and what that means for both of you moving forward. Keep your conversation respectful so there aren’t any hurt feelings.[12]
    • For example, you could say something like, “Hey Adam, I know you don’t want to be friends right now, but I was hoping we could chat one more time so we can get some closure. Do you have a few minutes?”
    • Don’t try to change the person’s mind or save the friendship since that might make the conversation messier.
    • If your friendship ended badly, they may not want to speak to you. If you still feel the need to reach out or apologize, you can still send a message, but you might not get a response back.
  2. Advertisement
12

Avoid taking it personally.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Even though you may think it’s your fault that the friendship ended, avoid being hard on yourself. Challenge the assumption by looking for the other tangible things that may have affected you and your friend. It could have been that you’re after different goals or something else in their life took priority.[13]
    • Remember that both people add their own difficulties to a relationship, so it’s never only your fault. For example, if you think you were being too critical of your friend, they may have not been speaking up or communicating with you enough.
13

Give yourself time to grieve.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Losing someone you love is really tough and you may have a lot of emotions, so don’t expect to get over it right away. Everyone needs a different amount of time to grieve, so take as long as you need.[14] Just be sure to take care of yourself by eating well and getting plenty of sleep so it’s easier to cope.[15]
    • Don’t be hard on yourself even if you’re the one that decided to let your friend go. Know that you did it because it’s what was best for both of you.
  2. Advertisement

Get Over Your Crush with this Expert Series

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
Advertisement

Tips

  • Act and treat people you want to spend time with how you want to be treated. That way, it’s a lot easier to be around like-minded people.[17]
  • We know that it may feel a little hard to stay positive and move on, but keep on showing love and care for the other people in your life.[18]
Submit a Tip
All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
Name
Please provide your name and last initial
Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
Advertisement

You Might Also Like

Make a Friend Laugh12 Hysterical Ways to Make Someone Laugh
Excuses to Not Hang OutBelievable Excuses Not to Hang Out with Someone
Write a Letter to a FriendWrite a Letter to a Friend
Get Someone to Stop Ignoring YouBeing Ignored? Here’s How to Get Them to Stop
Things to Say to Your Best FriendWhat to Say to Your Best Friend: 115+ Phrases to Make Them Smile
Challenges to Do with Friends30 Exciting Challenges to Do with Friends (At Home & on the Road)
Know when a Gemini Man Is in LoveKnow when a Gemini Man Is in Love
Tell if Your Guy Friend Sees You As Just "One of the Guys"15+ Signs That He Sees You as More Than a Friend
Can Guys and Girls Be FriendsCan a Male-Female Friendship Be Purely Platonic?
Signs Your Friend Doesn't Value You25 Signs Your Friend Doesn’t Care About You (Plus, What to Do About It)
End a Letter to a FriendThe Complete Guide to Closing a Friendly Letter (With Examples)
Thanks for Checking in Say “Thanks for Checking In”: 50+ Polite & Personal Replies
Tell a Female Best Friend You've Developed Feelings for HerTell a Female Best Friend You've Developed Feelings for Her
Know if Your Friend Is Really a FriendKnow if Your Friend Is Really a Friend
Advertisement

About This Article

Tracey Rogers, MA
Co-authored by:
Certified Life Coach
This article was co-authored by Tracey Rogers, MA and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising. Tracey L. Rogers is a Certified Life Coach and Professional Astrologer based in Philadelphia. Tracey has over 10 years of life coaching and astrology experience. Her work has been featured on nationally syndicated radio, as well as online platforms such as Oprah.com. She is certified as a Coach by the Life Purpose Institute, and she has an MA in International Education from George Washington University. This article has been viewed 97,941 times.
62 votes - 85%
Co-authors: 5
Updated: October 30, 2021
Views: 97,941
Categories: Friends
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 97,941 times.

Reader Success Stories

  • Sana

    Sana

    Sep 16, 2021

    "I really liked this article. Recently I had a hard break-up with my one friends, she was like a sister to me. But I..." more
Share your story

Did this article help you?

Advertisement