This article was co-authored by Annie Lin, MBA. Annie Lin is the founder of New York Life Coaching, a life and career coaching service based in Manhattan. Her holistic approach, combining elements from both Eastern and Western wisdom traditions, has made her a highly sought-after personal coach. Annie’s work has been featured in Elle Magazine, NBC News, New York Magazine, and BBC World News. She holds an MBA degree from Oxford Brookes University. Annie is also the founder of the New York Life Coaching Institute which offers a comprehensive life coach certification program.
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Looking confident can be a challenge, especially when you are feeling nervous or unsure of yourself. But you can project an air of confidence with your appearance through your clothing choices, the way that you stand, and the way that you look at people. Keep reading to learn about strategies that can help you to look confident.
Steps
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Wear dark colors. Dark colors make people seem more confident and authoritative, so when you need to look confident wear black, charcoal, navy, or other dark colors. Avoid pastels and other lighter tones when you want to appear confident.
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Wear formal attire. Whether you are a student or a professional, wearing clothing that is more formal and professional than what other people wear will make you seem more confident. People will perceive you as more confident if you wear slightly dressier clothing than you need to wear.
- For example, instead of wearing a collared shirt to school, wear a freshly pressed button down shirt. Or if you are giving a presentation and you would normally wear a casual outfit, wear something dressier like a suit.
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Wear clothing that fits well. If your clothing is ill fitting, you will likely be fiddling with it all day. Constantly readjusting your clothes will make you seem like you lack confidence and it may actually make you feel less confident. Instead, choose clothing that fits very well so that you won’t have to constantly readjust your outfit as you go through your day.[1]
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Groom yourself very well. Maintaining sleek hair, a fresh face, and manicured nails will also contribute to your appearance of self-confidence. If you look well kept, then you will seem more confident to others.[2]
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1Practice power posing. Standing tall with your arms and legs spread out wide will help you to feel more confident. This type of dominant pose also reduces cortisol and increases testosterone, which will add to your confidence. Take a moment to duck into bathroom stall or empty room and power pose for a minute before you need to walk confidently.[3]
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Take up space. Occupying more space will make you seem larger and more confident to others. Use your arms and legs to claim more of the territory around you.[4]
- When you are standing, place your hands on your hips and stand with your legs about shoulder width apart.
- When you are sitting, lean back and stretch your legs out in front of you and rest one or both arms on the backs of the seats next to you. If there is a table or desk in front of you, you can place your arms on the table and spread them out and away from your body.[5]
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Stand up straight. A hunched appearance projects a lack of confidence. Instead, walk straight and tall to seem confident. As you walk, keep your shoulders back and lift up your chin slightly.
- Test your posture by holding a pencil in each hand and making a fist. Let your arms fall loosely at your sides. If the pencils face inward (towards you), then you are hunching your shoulders. Shift your shoulders back until the pencils face forward to see how your ideal posture should be while you walk.
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Aim your torso and toes at the person you are talking to. Directing your body towards the person you are talking to demonstrates your respect for them as well as interest in what they have to say, but it also contributes to an appearance of confidence. People who lack confidence may find it harder to face other people directly during a conversation.[6] [7]
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Be still. Fidgeting makes you look nervous and uncomfortable, which makes you seem like you lack confidence. Train yourself to keep still when you are standing or sitting.[8]
- If you are standing, place your hands on your hips or hold something in one or both of your hands. You can hold a mug, clipboard or notepad, a pen, or something else that is appropriate for your situation. Just make sure that you don’t fidget with the object.
- If you are seated, firmly plant your hands on the arms of a chair or on top of a table. Just remind yourself not to tap your fingers on the table.[9]
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Make eye contact. Making and holding eye contact with someone when you are talking to them shows that you are confident. People who lack confidence are more likely to shy away from making eye contact. Shy people might even look down or let their eyes wander around the room.
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Stare until the other person looks away. One way that you can establish an appearance of confidence is to look into someone’s eyes until he or she breaks the gaze and looks away. This technique will not only make you seem more confident to the other person, it will also help you to see that the other person is just as nervous as you are.
- Just remember that you do not need to do this more than one time. If you do it through your whole conversation, you risk seeming a bit creepy or even aggressive.[12]
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Smile at people. People are attracted to smiling faces because people who smile seem more confident and approachable. Make sure to smile when you enter a room, when you meet new people, and as you talk to people. Just don’t smile in a way that seems forced or unnatural. Smile the way that you normally do.[13]
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I feel more confident?Annie Lin, MBAAnnie Lin is the founder of New York Life Coaching, a life and career coaching service based in Manhattan. Her holistic approach, combining elements from both Eastern and Western wisdom traditions, has made her a highly sought-after personal coach. Annie’s work has been featured in Elle Magazine, NBC News, New York Magazine, and BBC World News. She holds an MBA degree from Oxford Brookes University. Annie is also the founder of the New York Life Coaching Institute which offers a comprehensive life coach certification program.
Life & Career CoachPractice grounding your energy with daily meditation. Imagine you are a big tree extending your roots down into the earth. It helps to calm the nervous system and to be able to listen deeply. Breathe deeply, make eye contact with others, and pay attention to the way you present yourself. If you appear confident, you'll feel confident.
Tips
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Remember to be yourself. Try out some strategies to look more confident, but remember to be yourself and be honest with others about who you are. If you misrepresent yourself, people will eventually figure it out.Thanks
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Remember that you have the right to feel confident, so don’t care if people try to bring you down.Thanks
References
- ↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-1368793/Boost-confidence-Simple-tricks-bold.html
- ↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-1368793/Boost-confidence-Simple-tricks-bold.html
- ↑ http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2014/05/look-feel-confident-using-body-language/
- ↑ http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2014/05/look-feel-confident-using-body-language/
- ↑ http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/confident_body.htm
- ↑ http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/confident_body.htm
- ↑ http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2014/05/look-feel-confident-using-body-language/
- ↑ http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/confident_body.htm
- ↑ https://www.themuse.com/advice/5-ways-to-look-confident-in-an-interview-even-when-youre-freaking-out
- ↑ http://www.thesimpledollar.com/ten-unusual-ways-to-improve-your-appearance-of-confidence/
- ↑ https://www.themuse.com/advice/5-ways-to-look-confident-in-an-interview-even-when-youre-freaking-out
- ↑ http://www.scienceofpeople.com/2014/05/look-feel-confident-using-body-language/
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/beauty/lips-smile/smile-personality