How Is My Inner Child Wounded?

Take this quiz to find out!

Pain. Fear. Insecurity. There are many different parts of us. No matter how old we get, it can be hard to escape the part of our psyche that holds onto all the different memories and traumas we’ve experienced as children. Learning to heal and grow from these pains can be an important and empowering part of adulthood, but how are you supposed to heal if you aren’t totally sure what hurt you in the first place?

You’re not alone. With the help of psychologist Dr. LePera’s inner child research, we’re here to help you learn which wounds have impacted your inner child—and most importantly, how to begin healing. Ready to self-reflect? Hit “Start Quiz” to start your journey of exploration.

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Questions Overview

1. Which movie protagonist do you relate to the most?
  1. Katniss from The Hunger Games. She always went out of her way to help others.
  2. Ariel from The Little Mermaid. She wanted to be loved and accepted as someone else.
  3. Loki from Marvel. He had big goals, even if they didn’t always work out.
  4. Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean. He always had a funny quip regardless of the situation.
2. If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?
  1. The ability to sleep 10 hours in a single minute.
  2. The power to be fluent in any language.
  3. The ability to mimic other people’s superpowers.
  4. The power to heal others.
3. What’s your biggest fear?
  1. Disappointing those close to me.
  2. Being seen for who I really am.
  3. Experiencing any type of conflict.
  4. Being unable to fix a problem.
4. Which of the following quotes hits a little too close to home?
  1. “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you don’t care who gets credit.”
  2. “Fake happiness is the worst kind of sadness.”
  3. “Too much of anything is the beginning of a mess.”
  4. “Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.”
5. Congrats! You get to be an animal for a day. Which one do you pick?
  1. A dog. I could rescue so many people!
  2. An iguana. I’d love to blend in with the world around me.
  3. A bee. I’d get to buzz around while helping the planet.
  4. A sloth. They’re so silly and make everyone smile.
6. What’s keeping you up at night?
  1. I’m stressing about someone else’s problems.
  2. I’m thinking about impressing someone at work.
  3. I’m thinking about where I’ll find the energy to make it through another day.
  4. Nothing’s keeping me up—I’m good at pushing my worries away.
7. Your friend and their partner are going through a rough patch. How do you offer to help?
  1. I offer to be a mediator while they hash out some of their issues.
  2. I text them silly memes and look for ways to make them smile.
  3. I look at what my other friends are doing and copy them.
  4. I send my friend a text to see how they’re doing.
8. Time for a day trip. Where would you like to go?
  1. The city! I can’t wait to pack my day with activities.
  2. The beach! I want to relax and chill with my pals.
  3. Wherever my friends want to go.
  4. An amusement park! I’ll drag my friends on the roller coasters.
9. Pick a color palette that resonates with you:
  1. Mint green, peach, and off-white.
  2. Royal blue, bright red, and sunshine yellow.
  3. Light gray, light blue, and light purple.
  4. Neon pink, lime green, tangerine.
10. What is love to you?
  1. Something that needs to be earned.
  2. Something that’s out of my reach.
  3. Something that’s conditional.
  4. Something that I deserve.
11. What position would you pick in a band?
  1. Vocalist. I want to be in the center of the action.
  2. Guitarist. I want to show off with a crazy riff.
  3. Bassist. I want to participate without being noticed.
  4. Drummer. I want to support everyone with a steady beat.
12. Which nightmare are you most likely to have?
  1. A dream where I’m falling endlessly.
  2. A dream where I’m constantly overlooked.
  3. A dream where I’m running in place but never forward.
  4. A dream where I’m swept up in a tornado.

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All About Your Inner Child

Understanding The Inner Child Theory

  • The inner child theory was first introduced by Swiss psychologist Carl Jung. According to this concept, everyone has an innocent, child-like portion of their psyche that feeds into their actions and choices.
  • Your inner child represents a culmination of your past life experiences.According to psychologists John Firman and Ann Russell, the “inner child infuses all the past hidden ages which have made up one’s life journey.”[1] In other words, a person’s inner child represents the different pains and traumas that a person has collected throughout their life, as well as child-like senses of awe, excitement, and imagination.
  • Your inner child’s wounds affect who you are and how you act in the present. All children need love and support as they grow up. If these basic needs aren’t fulfilled in one way or another, a person’s inner child can develop wounds and scars that last into adulthood. Some causes of inner child wounds include:
    • Not being cared for physically (e.g., child had inconsistent food and housing, child was physically or sexually abused)
    • Not being cared for emotionally (e.g., child was ignored, child was punished for displaying emotion or wanting emotional support)
    • Not being cared for psychologically (e.g., child was frequently insulted or name-called, child was gaslit by parents/guardians)
  • Some psychologists divide a person’s inner child into archetypes. In her book How to Do the Work, psychologist Nicole LePera divides the wounded inner child concept into different archetypes, which represent specific unmet needs in a person’s past and the current reactions and behaviors that they now manifest in a person’s life. Here are a few of them:
    • The caretaker: Experienced codependent relationships at home; prioritizes other people and completely ignores their personal needs
    • The overachiever: Developed a poor sense of self-worth; views success and accomplishment as the only way to gain love from others
    • The underachiever: Became scared of failing or being criticized; makes themselves invisible and aloof as a way to get love from others
    • The rescuer/protector: Hides a deep sense of vulnerability; goes out of their way to help and “rescue” others
    • The life of the party: Feels embarrassed of showing any kind of emotion; puts on a happy face and does their best to keep people’s spirits up
    • The hero worshipper: Viewed their parent or guardian as completely perfect growing up; feels the need to devote themselves to following someone else

How to Heal Your Inner Child

  • Draft a personal note to your inner child. Writing yourself a note is a great way to acknowledge the wounds and struggles you’ve experienced while also giving yourself permission to heal, grow, and put yourself first. You might write yourself a note like:
    • Dear Dennis, I know you’ve always lived with a huge weight on your shoulders to put other people first, even if that means putting yourself on the back-burner time and time again. Please remember that you aren’t responsible for other people’s well-being, and it’s more than okay to put your own needs and wants first. Love, Dennis
  • Practice mirror work. If you’re struggling with negative thought patterns and self-perceptions, stand in front of the mirror and look yourself in the eyes. Tell yourself statements that are rooted in self-love, like “I am important” and “I deserve to be happy and loved.”
  • Make self-compassion a priority. Just as compassion refers to treating others with kindness and love, self-compassion revolves around treating yourself with those same principles. Train yourself to be a little more self-compassionate through activities like journaling, meditating, and combatting your negative and critical thoughts.
  • Let yourself indulge in some child-like fun. Fun and play are important elements of a happy and healthy life, no matter how old you are. Give yourself time and permission to jam out to your favorite tunes, relax with an adult coloring book, go frolicking outside, or binge-watch your favorite show.
  • Identify your triggers and validate yourself. When you have a strong negative reaction to something, try tracing those feelings back to a specific memory from your younger years. Once you’ve figured out the cause of the pain, take a moment to validate your inner child and remind them that they’re loved and cherished, and that they matter.
  • Visit a therapist. Find a mental health professional in your area and schedule an appointment with them. During your sessions, your therapist can help you identify your inner child's wounds so you can start to heal and grow.

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Medical Disclaimer

Any medically related content, whether User Content or otherwise found on the Service, is not intended to be medical advice or instructions for medical diagnosis or treatment, and no physician-patient or psychotherapist-patient relationship is, or is intended to be, created.

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References

  1. ↑ http://www.synthesiscenter.org/PDF/opening.pdf

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  • Evelyn Wrightsman

    Evelyn Wrightsman

    Jan 10

    "This is so true! I got Guardian Angel, and it told me that my guardian didn't help me when I needed it and..." more
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