11 Ways to Make Your Boyfriend Miss You After a Fight

Co-authored by Patti Novak Williams and Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: November 29, 2024 Fact Checked

Fighting with your boyfriend is the worst, and you may be feeling angry, frustrated, or sad right now. Making him miss you is a good way to open his eyes and get him to realize that he could actually lose you. Plus, missing you shows that he really cares about you and your relationship. In this article, we'll tell you exactly how to get your boyfriend to miss you so you two can kiss and make up after a fight.

1

Give him space for a couple of days.

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Spending time apart gives him a chance to miss you. It’s hard to give someone space, and it might feel like the exact opposite of what you want to do. However, a little distance now could help you grow closer later.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Patti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.} Stop calling and texting him for a few days, and don’t hang out with him. While you’re gone, he’ll realize how much he wants you in his life.
- Space also gives you both time to calm down from the fight so you can have a healthy discussion when you talk again.
- In general, you might give his space for up to 3 days after a fight.^{[2]
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  Research source}

2

Wait for him to text you first.

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Your boyfriend will agonize over why you’re not texting him.^{[3]
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Research source} Not only that, but waiting for him to text you first makes him work to get you back. Hopefully, he’ll realize that he really hurt you and will decide to make it better.
- How do you get him to text you? Be active on social media and with your friends. Drop hints to mutual friends that you’re keeping busy. Word will get back to him, and he’ll realize you’re pulling away.
- How long should you go without talking? It really depends on why you fought. In general, it’s normal to go quiet for 3 days to work through your hurt feelings. If you haven’t talked for a week, it might be a sign you’re rethinking the relationship.^{[4]
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3

Delay your responses to his texts.

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Make him sweat so he sees you aren’t just waiting around for him. You don’t need to wait forever.^{[5]
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Trustworthy Source

Association for Psychological Science
Nonprofit organization devoted promoting trustworthy research and education in the psychological sciences

Go to source} Just let the text sit for 15 to 30 minutes to show him you aren’t waiting by the phone. From there, match your response times to his.
- If he responds right away, you can, too. But if he’s waiting hours to respond, copy his long delays.

4

Have fun with your friends.

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Show him you don’t need him for a good time. Invite one friend to hang out, or get the whole gang together. Not only will you have a great time, your friends can also help you cope when you’re dealing with something bad, like a fight with your boyfriend.^{[6]
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Research source} Here are some things you could do:
- Host a movie night.
- Play board games.
- Go bowling.
- Bake cookies.
- Play mini golf.
- Make some art.
- Give each other makeovers.
- Play video games online.
- Go shopping.

5

Post a photo of you having fun on social media.

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Seeing you in his feed will make him instantly think about you. Your pic will also show him you’re enjoying life instead of sitting around crying over him. Stick to one photo each day, however, so he doesn’t start thinking you’ve moved on from him. Try these pic ideas:
- Take a snap with your friends.
- Pose with your pet.
- Play an instrument.
- Pose outside.
- Take a pic at a cool place, like a coffee shop.

6

Fill your schedule so you don’t have time for him.

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Remind him that you’re in high demand. In the days after your fight, keep your schedule full so he realizes you’re a prize worth pursuing. Not only will this make him miss you, it’ll also keep you distracted while you give him space.
- In addition to hanging out with friends, work on a hobby, study, or take an online class.
- Break out of your routine! Try something new, whether it’s a new hobby, taking a class, or meeting up with a friend.

7

Ignore his social media posts.

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You might find it too hard to completely avoid his profiles, which is totally understandable. At the same time, you’ll feel better if you don’t open his snaps, watch his stories, or scroll past his posts. When he sees you aren’t reacting, he’ll remember how special it makes him feel when you do.

8

Take good care of yourself.

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Being your best self shows him you’re worth chasing. Make sure you’re getting proper sleep and eating well so you look and feel amazing. Additionally, get some exercise so your skin is glowing and you feel less stressed. If you can, treat yourself to something special, even if it’s just an episode of your favorite show.^{[7]
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- Give yourself a spa day at home (or at the actual spa). Put on a sheet mask, soak in a scented bath, and massage yourself with lotion.

9

Post a photo from a happy memory together.

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Nostalgia can rekindle good feelings about your relationship. At the same time, it can make him feel lonely, which will hopefully make him miss you.^{[8]
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Research source} To trigger his memories, post a photo from a happy moment you shared. You could also talk or write about how much you enjoyed an experience with him. Say:
- “Thinking about the time Leo and I watched the sunset from the dunes.”
- “Remembering nights riding down backroads in his truck.”
- “Love this picture of the snow flurries while we looked at holiday lights.”

10

Be kind when he contacts you.

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Kindness will draw him back to you. Even if you’re still mad, try not to be cold when he texts or calls after your fight.^{[9]
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Research source} Instead, give him calm, loving responses. You can still tell him how much he hurt you, but use I-statements so he doesn’t feel defensive.^{[10]
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Research source} You could say:
- “I feel really hurt that you called me a rude name.”
- “I still feel upset about being yelled at yesterday.”
- “I’m hurt over what you said.”

11

Apologize for your part in the fight.

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You’ll both need to apologize if you want to make up. If you can, ask to talk to him in person so you can have a heart-to-heart. Tell him you feel bad about what happened and that things will be better in the future.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Patti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.} Then, listen to how he feels about the situation.^{[12]
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Research source} Say:
- “I’m so sorry that I yelled at you. In the future, I’ll try harder to speak to you respectfully.”
- “I’m sorry I got mad that you needed time with your friends. I felt lonely, but next time I’ll call my friends instead of asking you to cancel plans.”
- “I really apologize for storming off. I should have told you I needed space.”

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Tips

If he’s ignoring you, try writing down your feelings so you can talk about them later. You could also send him a text telling him how he’s making you feel, then go spend time with your friends.^{[13]
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Helpful 2 Not Helpful 2
Pulling away from him is the best way to make your boyfriend chase you. Don’t be afraid to give him space.^{[14]
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Expert Source

Patti Novak Williams
Professional Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 12 January 2021.}

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Vent to your friends about the fight if you need to get out your feelings. You could also write in your journal.

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