How to Make Your Guy Friend Want to Date You

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Easy ways to get your best guy friend to notice and fall for you

Co-authored by Cher Gopman and Amber Crain

Last Updated: December 6, 2024 Approved

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Flirting with Him

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Getting Closer

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Making Your Move

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Expert Q&A

Moving from friendship to dating can be a little scary, but friends take their relationships to the next level all the time! If you're crushing on your guy pal, there are tons of ways to make him want you as more than a friend. Try subtly flirting during interactions. Work on spending quality time with him to strengthen your bond. When you feel ready, ask him out. There's always a chance he doesn't feel the same, but as long as you're prepared for that possibility, go for it!

Things You Should Know

Act confident and use flirty body language to communicate how you feel about him.
Spend more time with him and plan activities around shared interests or hobbies.
Find excuses to accidentally touch or brush up against him and gauge his reaction.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Flirting with Him

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1
Use body language. Flirtation often comes down to the right body language. If you want to send your guy friend the signal you want a relationship, work on flirting with your body when the two of you are together. If he is attracted to you as well, this can help romantic feelings develop.^{[1]
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- Tilt your body towards him when you're having lunch together, watching a movie, or other times when you hang out.
- Look him directly in the eye, bat your eyelashes and smile!
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Mimic his body language and mannerisms. It may sound strange, but this is a form of flirtation that gets attention! Try to position your body the way his is when you're sitting together. Place your hands and feet in the same position as his hands and feet. If you're having coffee, take a sip when he does.^{[2]
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- Pick up some of his expressions. If he has a tendency to say, "Wow, that's interesting," for example, use this phrase on occasion.
- Don't make it too obvious. He may think you're making fun of him! Imitate his gestures on occasion, but don't copy every single thing he does.
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Strive to look your best around him. Being attractive certainly helps someone notice you in a more than friends sense. When hanging out with him, dress your best. Wear your most flattering clothes and, if you wear makeup, throw some on. Looking stunning can definitely help attract someone's romantic attention.^{[3]
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- Wear clothing that makes you feel good about yourself and that you feel comfortable in. You don't have to try to look like anyone but yourself.
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Be confident during your interactions. If you lack self-confidence, you're less likely to come off as attractive to other people. Having a strong sense of who you are will help your guy friend notice you. Do not simply agree with what he sees and smile and nod. Show off who you are while flirting!^{[4]
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- Think about how you see yourself as a person. Do you see yourself as smart, funny, spontaneous, serious, and studious? However you see yourself, work on showing off that side for him.
- For example, if you're a movie buff, don't hesitate to share your knowledge while the two of you hang out and watch movies.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Getting Closer

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1
Spend a lot of time together. It's natural to develop feelings for someone if you spend a lot of time with that person. Try to frequent the same places he does. If you know he hangs out at a local coffee shop, spend time there. Invite him out with your friends for group gatherings. Go to social events where you know you'll see him.^{[5]
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- If you go to school together, try to interact with him frequently at school. Talk to him between classes. Sit by him in class whenever possible. Have lunch with him.
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Emphasize your similarities. People want to date those who are similar to them. If you have a lot in common, play up these similarities. Do and say things to make him notice how alike you are. For example, if you both like a particular director, talk about movies by that director.^{[6]
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- Maybe both of you are really interested in science fiction books or basketball. Find your common ground and emphasize it!
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Get into some of his interests and hobbies. If you're genuinely intrigued by some of his interests, explore them. For instance, you can listen to a band he likes and then chat with him about it the next day. You could even ask him to check out their concert with you.
- Be yourself! Don't force yourself to be interested in things that don't appeal to you just because he likes them.
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Try to spend more time alone with him. As friends, you may already hang out alone sometimes. Work on having a little more one-on-one time with him. This will give you a chance to get flirty in order to gain his attention. If you're nervous, go to a big social event and spend some time alone with him there.
- For example, ask him to a party and then find a cozy corner where the two of you can chat.
- You can also try to hang out one-on-one in casual settings. For example, grab a cup of coffee together after school.
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Initiate touch whenever possible. If you're having trouble getting a guy to notice you, try touching him whenever possible. This can help him think of you in a more romantic sense. For example, when you're having coffee together, try brushing his arm slightly when you're talking. Lean into him a little while you're watching a movie together.^{[7]
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- Do something flirty and playful, like tussling his hair.
- Hug him on occasion. A cozy hug once in a while can eventually lead to more.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Making Your Move

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1
Try asking him on a date indirectly at first. Many people feel more comfortable transitioning into dating gradually. Try asking him what he's doing this weekend and, when he responds, suggest something the two of you could do together instead. For example, "Bowling sounds fun this weekend, but I have tickets to this concert if you want to go with me."^{[8]
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- Try asking him for advice on somewhere to go, and then ask him to go with you. For example, say: "Where do you get good pizza in this town?"
- When he answers, say something like, "Oh, cool. Hey, since you like that place, maybe we could go together."
- Reader Poll: We asked 534 wikiHow readers which type of location they’d prefer for a first date, and 52% of them said a coffee shop. [Take Poll]
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Make the first move. If he's not getting the hint, don't be afraid to make the first move! Many guys actually appreciate it when a potential romantic partner makes the move for them. Guys are shy too, so don't be afraid to make the first move.^{[9]
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- Remember, this guy is your friend. This can help take some pressure off.
- A friend is more likely to be polite and let you down easy, as well.
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Take your time. When asking him out, go at your own pace. Rushing through things can make you look nervous, making you both feel anxious in the situation. You want to start things off in a good place, so slowly work your way up to asking him out when the time comes.^{[10]
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- Do not rush through your words. When the two of you do interact one-on-one, allow the conversation to happen naturally for a bit before making your move.
- If you're feeling nervous, take a few deep breaths to calm yourself.
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Be direct. If indirect invitations aren't working, it's time to be bold about your feelings. Simply say something like, "So, I feel a strong romantic connection with you. Would you like to go out on a date sometime?" You want to proceed with your relationship, friendship or otherwise, with no confusion.^{[11]
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- While this may feel very bold, many people appreciate it when you're straightforward.
- You can also emphasize how important his friendship is to you. You could say something like, “I really do love being your friend and if you aren’t into me in a romantic way, I just want you to know that I am happy with just being friends. Nothing about our friendship will change. I want to continue having fun with you and being your friend.”
^{[12]
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Everyone gets rejected at some point, so don’t let it affect your confidence. Besides, even if he doesn’t feel romantically about you now, that doesn’t mean he’ll always feel that way. Stay positive! No matter what happens, it doesn't reflect negatively on you as a person. You are awesome, with or without him!

Expert Q&A

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Question

How can I attract my guy friend?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try a little flirting! Smile at him frequently and make plenty of eye contact to show you're really present in the moment. When you're talking or laughing, try briefly touching his arm or leg. Of course, if he pulls away, he's probably not comfortable, so be sure to read his reaction. However, if he is comfortable, it's a great way to flirt.

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Question

How do you let a guy friend know you're interested?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Smile at him as much as you can. You can also lean forward a bit during your conversations to show that you're interested in what he's saying.

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Question

What if you like a guy, but his friends hate you?

Community Answer

His guy friends may dislike you for superficial reasons. They may perceive you as taking their friend away. If this is the case, try to ignore it. However, if there is something you're doing wrong, try to fix it. If you consistently ignore other people, or take up too much of your guy friend's time, his friends may think of you as rude. Make an effort to get to know his friends.

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