How to Know if You're Falling for Your Best Friend

Reviewed by John Keegan

Last Updated: February 12, 2024 References

You and your very best friend have been through many moments together, then suddenly you get this strange feeling in you. A feeling that makes you feel like you want to spend the rest of your life with them. This is called a crush, and while most people continue on to have one on their best friend they barely even know they do. If you think you're falling for your best friend but you're not exactly sure, read on.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Deep Feelings

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The next time you see your best friend, note whether you feel tingly inside. When they talk to you, the words in your mind get tangled up in a huge knot and you don't know what to say. You try your best to get those words out of your mouth but it ends up that you just can't bring yourself to. If talking just became a huge challenge for you, it may be a sign you're falling in love.^{[1]
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When you go somewhere and get bored. Or, if you have extra time and feel like it, you take out your binder and a piece of paper and a few colored pencils and start doodling their name on the paper you brought out. You do this to make yourself feel that feeling, that feeling of love and a crush.^{[2]
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When you're asleep at night, you dream of you and them living a carefree and happy life together. Maybe you even dream about a honeymoon. Sometimes you get this one dream where they ask you out, and you say yes, and until you wake up you feel that that dream is real––you never want it to end.^{[3]
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Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: Do I Have a Crush?

It can be pretty exhilarating (or terrifying) to think that you’ve booked a one-way ticket to crush territory—especially when you can’t quite put a label on what you’re experiencing. How can you know if these feelings are legit, though, or if your mind is just faking you out? We’ve got you covered. Hit “Start Quiz” to see if the butterflies in your stomach are the real deal, or if you’re safely out of the crush zone.

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How often does this person pop up in your daydreaming sessions?

Constantly! It feels like they’re always on my mind.

Pretty frequently. My heart skips a beat when I think of them.

Occasionally, but not really in a romantic sense.

I never daydream about this person.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Thinking about Your Best Friend

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If you try to stop it, you just can't. They have altered your mind somehow and you can't get them out of there, everywhere you go and anytime of the day that's all your imagination has in store for you, more of them.
You sit down for a while and start writing, until you run out of ideas and you start to daydream about them and you like it. Until the point when someone snaps you out of it and you go back to reality. Your daydreams seem timeless and you imagine that you and them are the only two people in the world.^{[4]
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You start listening to slow love songs, and those songs explain a sweet love story and strangely remind you of them. Then it becomes your favorite type of music for a long while. You listen to those songs again and again and you just can't get enough, pretty soon you'll know every single one of the lyrics.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Impatience and Longing

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If you're falling in love, you'll likely find that you just can't settle down and you find yourself wanting more and more of them. Maybe your friends also notice you've been acting strange lately. Somehow you seem to be getting a little bit clumsy––you start getting clumsy because they are the only thing that seems to go around in your mind and nothing else.
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Think about how it feels when you're apart. If you find you miss them at all times, it's likely to be falling in love.^{[5]
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- You are hungry to meet up again, often. You find most happiness when you're both together, not apart.
- You just can't wait to hang out together again.
More than before that is. This is an indicator of growing love.^{[6]
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If you feel that you don't have to have a kind of "mask" around them and you feel like you can be yourself and express thoughts and feelings openly, things are off to a great and healthy start!

Join the Discussion...

Help, I have a crush on my best friend!

29

WikiBirdWatcher823

How do I handle having a crush on my best friend? I think she’s amazing, and we do everything together. But I don’t know if she feels the sam... Read More

12

John Keegan
Dating Coach

This is a tough situation to be in. The best thing to do when you have a crush on your best friend is find out if they feel the same way. Sometim... Read More

2

WikiPlumJammer865

Hey man, I went through the same thing, and it’s rough. My advice is to just talk to her. Tell her how you feel, and be clear that you both val... Read More

See all 152 Replies and

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Question

How do you get your friend to like you back?

JT Tran
Dating Coach
JT Tran is a Dating Coach and a Dating Advice Columnist for LA Weekly and Baller Magazine. JT also runs the ABCs of Attraction, a dating boot camp where he specializes in coaching Asian men and women on how to navigate the cultural and social sensitivities associated with Asian dating culture. With over ten years of dating coaching experience, JT has presented dating and relationship advice as it relates to cultural issues at Harvard University, Yale University, and the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. His work has been featured in AsianWeek, New York, NU Asian Magazine, the Huffington Post, Channel News Asia, and Voice of America News TV.

JT Tran

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try getting them to see you in another light! For instance, you might hold a party and invite a lot of cool people over, including your friend. As you express new facets of your personality, they may start to view you in a different light.

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Question

Should you tell your best friend you have feelings for them?

JT Tran
Dating Coach
JT Tran is a Dating Coach and a Dating Advice Columnist for LA Weekly and Baller Magazine. JT also runs the ABCs of Attraction, a dating boot camp where he specializes in coaching Asian men and women on how to navigate the cultural and social sensitivities associated with Asian dating culture. With over ten years of dating coaching experience, JT has presented dating and relationship advice as it relates to cultural issues at Harvard University, Yale University, and the Wharton School of Business at the University of Pennsylvania. His work has been featured in AsianWeek, New York, NU Asian Magazine, the Huffington Post, Channel News Asia, and Voice of America News TV.

JT Tran

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

It's better to take it slow. Simply sitting down and telling your friend you have feelings for them could be overwhelming and scary for them to process. Instead, it's better to take a more indirect approach.

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Question

How do I stop falling in love with my best friend?

Jessica January Behr, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Jessica January Behr is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Founder and Director of Behr Psychology. She specializes in couples and sex therapy. Additionally, Dr. Behr treats those experiencing anxiety, stress, relationship problems, and depression. She holds a BA in Psychology from Hunter College. Dr. Behr also holds a Masters of Science of Education (MsED) in School Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) in Clinical Psychology from Pace University.

Jessica January Behr, PsyD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Have you explored the possibility of sharing your feelings with this person and seeing if they could be reciprocated? If you already know that your friend is not interested/unavailable, try to take some space (or at least balance your time out with other people) to see if less contact helps change your interest or lower the intensity of your feelings.

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