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In life, everyone needs to make an apology, you need to make people think you mean it, you should mean it anyway if you want to make genuine. Life skills! It often happens that you have mixed feelings, that the subject is not a simple situation, not black and white, but the apology is needed to smooth things out, and you are willing to apologize in order to do that.

  1. Whether it was on purpose or an accident, admit that you did it. People like honesty.[1]
    • Reader Poll: We asked 505 wikiHow readers who’ve argued with a loved one, and 60% of them agreed that the best way to show your commitment to rebuilding the relationship is by apologizing and taking responsibility for your actions. [Take Poll]
  2. Keep it simple, being careful not to start up a fight, a disagreement, or open up the situation for further discussion or recriminations. Stick to the idea of re-establishing a good relationship. This is not the time to work out and dissect events.
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  3. Be prepared for it to take some time for your apology to be processed.[2] This may be a long moment, a few minutes, or even days or weeks. Be patient and hopeful. Sometimes apologies have to be repeated. Don't let pride keep you from calling or writing again. The injured party may have trouble calming down, they may remain hurt or angry, and you must persist within reason. It is important to keep follow up messages light and casual. One must understand when to stop the effort as well.
  4. It helps to say, "This is a genuine apology, I mean it from the bottom of my heart, I have thought about how wrong I was in that matter, and I hope you will accept my apology.
  5. Quiz

    wikiHow Quiz: What Is My Apology Language?

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    You’ve probably heard of love languages, but what about apology languages? Developed by Dr. Gary Chapman (the creator of the 5 Love Languages) alongside Dr. Jennifer Thomas, apology languages are the preferred ways that people like to give and receive apologies. By knowing yours, you can learn how to resolve problems in a more effective and meaningful way. Take this quiz to find out.
    1 of 12

    Whoops! You just broke your sibling’s phone. What’s your response?

  6. An apology will be better accepted if it is sincere.
  7. For instance, "I am sorry I forgot your birthday after all these years.Your friendship means so much to me I hope you will forgive me."
  8. Smiling generally expresses happiness but you should be serious. If you want to smile, try to have an apologetic smile.
  9. Often people use flowers, or pay for lunch if they are eating together. You might say, "Let me get this check, it's my pleasure." If you know a person's favorite things this can be more personal. Wrap a small gift in attractive paper or bag and bring it with you for your apology; it will serve as a little sweetener to the situation. Or say, let's go to lunch, it would be my treat.
  10. Refer to the person, talk about what you have done, and why it won't happen again. Don't say, "I hope." It should NEVER happen again.
  11. An apology is saying sorry. Sorry means not doing it again. It's supposed to be genuine.
  12. In some more complicated situations it may serve better to say, "I will work on this negative quality that I have of bringing things up at the wrong time. I see that it is creating problems for everyone."
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How can I seem more sincere when apologizing to my friend?
    Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA Michelle Shahbazyan is a Life Coach, Author, and Speaker based in Los Angeles, California. She is the Founder of The LA Life Coach, a concierge life, family, and career coaching service. She has over 15 years of experience with life coaching, consulting, motivational speaking, and matchmaking. Michelle has helped thousands of clients achieve peace, fulfillment, and a healthier mindset. Her ultimate goal is to provide her clients with the tools, perspectives, and resources needed to create the life they desire. Michelle specializes in supporting individuals and couples with a wide array of concerns, including depression, anxiety, love and relationship issues, ADHD, grief, stress, anger management, and career planning. Her approach is informed by neuroscience, anthropology, sociology, and behavioral biology, ensuring that the strategies she develops with clients are both effective and enduring. She has a BA in Applied Psychology and an MS in Building Construction and Technology Management from Georgia Tech University, and a MA in Psychology with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy from Phillips Graduate University.
    Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
    Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    Try to really listen and understand where they're coming from. The most important part of apologizing is being genuine and being able to tolerate the other person's wave of hurt coming your way, whatever that may look like. Let them get that out and continue to stay apologetic.
  • Question
    How do you apologize if you don't know what you did wrong?
    Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA Michelle Shahbazyan is a Life Coach, Author, and Speaker based in Los Angeles, California. She is the Founder of The LA Life Coach, a concierge life, family, and career coaching service. She has over 15 years of experience with life coaching, consulting, motivational speaking, and matchmaking. Michelle has helped thousands of clients achieve peace, fulfillment, and a healthier mindset. Her ultimate goal is to provide her clients with the tools, perspectives, and resources needed to create the life they desire. Michelle specializes in supporting individuals and couples with a wide array of concerns, including depression, anxiety, love and relationship issues, ADHD, grief, stress, anger management, and career planning. Her approach is informed by neuroscience, anthropology, sociology, and behavioral biology, ensuring that the strategies she develops with clients are both effective and enduring. She has a BA in Applied Psychology and an MS in Building Construction and Technology Management from Georgia Tech University, and a MA in Psychology with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy from Phillips Graduate University.
    Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
    Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    Talk to the other person to find out why they're upset. Tell them you really care about them and want to know what you did wrong so you can fix things. Really listen to them, and accept how your actions hurt them.
  • Question
    I had an outburst at my best friend. She meant the world to me and I don't want to lose her over this. How can I make it up to her, while making the apology?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Try to apologize by admitting you were wrong, and slowly explaining in a calm tone what is going on.
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Warnings

  • It is also possible that the person may remain very angry or hurt despite your apology. In this case you may see results later if you are patient, but you may not. To avoid this, never apologize immediately after doing some bad things such as making a personal attack causing the person to cry. In this sort of case, save any apologies for later.
  • The largest concern is that your apology may not be accepted and the relationship may be forever lost or degraded.
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References

  1. Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 18 March 2020.
  2. Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 18 March 2020.

About This Article

Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
Co-authored by:
Life Coach
This article was co-authored by Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA. Michelle Shahbazyan is a Life Coach, Author, and Speaker based in Los Angeles, California. She is the Founder of The LA Life Coach, a concierge life, family, and career coaching service. She has over 15 years of experience with life coaching, consulting, motivational speaking, and matchmaking. Michelle has helped thousands of clients achieve peace, fulfillment, and a healthier mindset. Her ultimate goal is to provide her clients with the tools, perspectives, and resources needed to create the life they desire. Michelle specializes in supporting individuals and couples with a wide array of concerns, including depression, anxiety, love and relationship issues, ADHD, grief, stress, anger management, and career planning. Her approach is informed by neuroscience, anthropology, sociology, and behavioral biology, ensuring that the strategies she develops with clients are both effective and enduring. She has a BA in Applied Psychology and an MS in Building Construction and Technology Management from Georgia Tech University, and a MA in Psychology with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy from Phillips Graduate University. This article has been viewed 114,341 times.
13 votes - 97%
Co-authors: 13
Updated: August 9, 2024
Views: 114,341
Categories: Making Apologies
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 114,341 times.

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