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It’s completely normal (and healthy) for couples to argue from time to time. But when you’ve just had a huge argument and you’re not talking, it can be tough to know how and when to break the silence. If you’re contemplating whether or not you should call your partner, read through these common questions before you make your decision.

Question 1 of 6:

Should I call my partner first after an argument?

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  1. You probably both need space to cool off after a heated argument. It doesn’t matter who was in the “wrong”—if you want to call them, you should. Open and honest communication will help you solve your issues faster than waiting for your partner to reach out first.[1]
    • If you still need more space and time to process—or you still feel like you need to be right—don’t call them yet.[2]
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Question 3 of 6:

How long should I give my partner space after an argument?

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Question 4 of 6:

How do you apologize after an argument?

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  1. It takes two to tango, and chances are you aren’t 100% guilt-free in this scenario. Even if you didn’t start the argument, go to your partner and say sorry for raising your voice or getting too heated. Chances are, your partner will apologize, too. You might say something like, “I’m sorry I took it too far by yelling at you. It wasn’t okay, and I understand why you reacted the way you did.”[5]
  2. Once you’ve both had a chance to calm down and say sorry, it’s time to actually fix the issue. Work through the problem without yelling or getting angry to foster a helpful discussion.[7]
    • Sometimes, all your partner really needs from you is for you to listen to what they have to say, without criticizing or judging them.[8]
    • Try to come up with a compromise that makes you both happy. For instance, if you feel like your partner isn’t helping as much around the house, consider making a chore chart and splitting them 50/50.
    • Or, if you feel like your partner isn’t paying enough attention to you, maybe you could set up a schedule to see each other on a more consistent basis.
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Question 6 of 6:

Do fights bring couples closer?

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  1. Having an argument with your significant other can help you work through your problems and come up with a solution that benefits the both of you. However, fights that involve yelling, name-calling, or screaming aren’t constructive, and they can actually drive you apart.[10] [11]
    • It’s important to find the moral of the argument after it’s over. What did you both learn about your communication styles? How can you prevent this argument from happening again? If you can answer those two questions, your relationship will benefit from it.[12]
    • If you tend to have a lot of huge fights with your partner, you may benefit from relationship counseling.
    EXPERT TIP
    John Keegan

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Aim to address recurring arguments right away. Don't tolerate destructive behaviors like picking fights or unnecessary drama. If your partner often disagrees with you on the same topics, it may be because they're uncertain about the relationship, so don't hesitate to have a conversation.

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  • Try not to take it personally if your partner needs more time to cool off than you do. They’ll most likely come back refreshed and ready to talk about the issue.
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About This Article

John Keegan
Co-authored by:
Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by John Keegan and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been viewed 139,752 times.
52 votes - 85%
Co-authors: 6
Updated: July 19, 2024
Views: 139,752
Categories: Relationships
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 139,752 times.

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