How to Make a Girl Happy when She Is Angry

Co-authored by John Keegan and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: July 26, 2024

When a girl is angry, it can be tough to know what to do to make her happy without making things worse. While you might not be able to fix her problems, there are a few ways you can comfort her and try to make her feel happy again. Keep reading to learn what you can do when a girl is angry and how you can help her feel better.

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, John Keegan, founder of The Awakened Lifestyle. Check out the full interview here.

Calming Her Down When She's Angry

Physical touch, including a hug or pat on the back, can help lower her stress and get her to a much better place. When she's more physically calm, you can help her ease into a state of happiness.

1

Let her feel her emotions.

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Oftentimes, people just need to let things out. If she needs to talk, let her vent to you. If she wants to yell, take her outside so she can scream and shout as much as she wants. The more she works through her emotions, the quicker she’ll be able to feel happy again.^{[1]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.}
- Say things like, “Tell me about what happened,” or, “Just let it all out.”

2

Stay calm, and try not to get angry.

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Your anger will only feed into her own. Although it can be tough, try to remain calm and level-headed so you can talk her down. If you find yourself getting worked up, take a deep breath and count to 10 before talking.^{[2]
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- Sometimes people lash out when they’re angry, even if they aren’t angry at you. If you feel like you can’t have a productive conversation, you can just give her some space to calm down.

3

Ask her if she wants to talk.

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Talking is great for some people, but not so good for others. If you think your girlfriend is angry, sit down with her and ask her to tell you what’s wrong. If she doesn’t want to talk, that’s okay, but let her know that you’ll be here when she does.^{[3]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.}
- If she’s mad at you, it’s unfair of her to expect that you’ll know what’s wrong without talking it out. Wait until she’s calmed down a little, then try to talk with her again.

4

Listen to her.

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It’s important to let her express herself. If you ask her what’s wrong and she starts talking, stay quiet and really listen to what she has to say. If you don’t understand something, ask follow-up questions until you do.^{[4]
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- It might be helpful to rephrase what she’s saying in her own words. For instance, you could say, “So what I hear you saying is that you’re mad because I forgot to pick up dinner on my way home.”

5

Empathize with her.

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Let her know that it’s okay to be mad right now. Even if you don’t quite get it, tell her that you understand why she’s aggravated. Sometimes, people just need to hear that their emotions are valid, and it can help them calm down much easier.^{[5]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.}
- Say something like, “I understand why that would make you angry. It’s frustrating when someone is late and doesn’t tell you why.”

6

Apologize if you did something wrong.

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Only apologize if you mean it. If a girl is mad at you because of something you did, the best way to make her happy is to say that you’re sorry. However, if you aren’t sorry (or you think you didn’t do anything wrong), keep talking with her and explain your side of the issue.^{[6]
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- If you’re apologizing, say something like, “I’m really sorry I didn’t answer your calls all day. I was super busy at work and I forgot to plug my phone in, so it died.”
- If you don’t think you should apologize, say something like, “I understand that you’re angry, but I did tell you that I’d be busy today. I can’t be on my phone at work all the time.”

7

Ask her what might make her feel better.

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Use this method if you aren’t sure what to do. Some people want a hug, other people want flowers, while still others like to be left alone. If your girlfriend is still feeling upset, simply ask what you can do and try your best to accommodate that.^{[7]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 10 June 2021.}
- Phrase it by saying something like, “I can tell you’re still upset. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

8

Tell her you’re there for her.

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Your support might just be enough. If you can’t figure out anything else to do, simply tell her you’re there if she needs you. Give her a hug and continue to be there for her however you can.^{[8]
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- If you two live far away from each other, tell her that she can call or text you at any time.

9

Don’t try to fix it if you can’t do anything about it.

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Sometimes, you just won’t be able to fix a situation. If there’s really nothing you can do about the source of her anger, don’t offer advice or give a solution. Usually, it isn’t very helpful to hear, and most people are looking for comfort, not help.^{[9]
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- If you think she’s looking for advice, say something like, “Do you want my opinion on the situation?”

Expert Q&A

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Question

How do I reconnect with my partner after a fight?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Take time to really sit down and listen to your partner. Listen as they explain how they were hurt, and why they didn't feel heard or understood. Then, put aside your pride and apologize for any hurtful things that you said.

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How damaging is name-calling in a relationship?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Name-calling can be very damaging. When you name-call someone, you're ultimately putting them in a box and making them feel bad.

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Can one fight end a relationship?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Not necessarily. Think of it this way—every argument that you have is like a crack in your relationship. Over time, enough cracks will break your relationship apart.

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If you are dating someone who has trouble controlling their anger, it might be helpful to talk to a couple’s counselor.^{[10]
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