This article was co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD and by wikiHow staff writer, Bailey Cho. Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
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It’s completely normal to feel sad, disappointed, and a bit lost when someone you love doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. Whether your love was completely unrequited or you put in more effort than your partner did, a one-sided relationship is tough to get over, but we're here to help. It might not feel like it now, but moving on with your life will make you stronger, more independent, and ready to meet someone who really loves you. With these tips and tricks, you can take the first steps toward moving on and feeling like yourself again!
Things You Should Know
- To move on from one-sided love, accept that it’s normal to feel upset or insecure, and allow yourself to grieve for as long as you need to.
- Distract yourself with fun activities to take your mind off of things—sign up for a workout class, go for a walk outside, or have a picnic with your friends!
- Practice self-care and challenge negative thoughts about yourself by replacing them with positive ones. Remind yourself of your good qualities and all of your potential.
Steps
Get Over Your Crush with this Expert Series
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I move on from an ex when all I can think of are the good memories?Chloe Carmichael, PhDChloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
Clinical Psychologist, Author of Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of DatingClinical Psychologist, Author of Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of DatingExpert AnswerKeep in mind that there's a reason you broke up. It may be hard, but try to focus on the issues you had as a couple or things that came to light during the break up itself. If you understand why you weren't compatible it will be easier to heal and move on.
Video
Tips
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One-sided love doesn’t mean there was anything wrong with you (or the other person). It just wasn't meant to be.Thanks
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Remember that getting over any relationship takes time, and a bad or unloving relationship may take even longer. Be patient, focus on feeling happy, and take one day at a time.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/201502/6-ways-get-past-the-pain-unrequited-love
- ↑ Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 14 July 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201508/5-ways-move-ex-you-still-love
- ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-to-deal-with-unrequited-love-for-friend-320197
- ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/love/why-does-unrequited-love-hurt/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201501/7-mistakes-you-need-avoid-after-breakup
- ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/love/why-does-unrequited-love-hurt/
- ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/how-to-move-on/
- ↑ Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 14 July 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/201502/6-ways-get-past-the-pain-unrequited-love
- ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-to-deal-with-unrequited-love-for-friend-320197
- ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/how-to-move-on/
- ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/love/why-does-unrequited-love-hurt/
About This Article
If you’re trying to move on after one-sided love, give yourself time to grieve the relationship before focusing on the future. People grieve in many different ways, like crying, staying home alone, or watching their favorite TV program. Mourn the relationship in whatever way feels right for you, since bottling up your emotions will only make things worse later on. When you feel ready, take steps to lift your spirits and look forward. Spend time with friends or relatives, since being with the people that mean most to you will help you feel better. Try doing more physical activity or just getting outside for a walk, which will improve your mood. Remind yourself that you deserve to be happy so you don’t blame yourself for how your former partner treated you. You may find this easier if you think about what you want from a future relationship, rather than dwelling on your past negative experiences. For tips from our Relationship co-author on how to know when you’re ready to meet someone else, keep reading!
Reader Success Stories
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"One-sided feelings for someone may be hurtful, but it's true the pain is so unbearable. Being in this for so long makes us forget that we too have a happy life, and people do actually care about us. It's hard to move on and start a new life interacting with people whom we share mutual feelings. Perfectly explained. It makes me feel better. Thank you so much."..." more