How to Not Be Awkward Around Your Girlfriend

Written by Mark Rosenfeld | Edited by Hannah Madden

Last Updated: November 29, 2024 References

Getting a new girlfriend is super exciting (but also a little nerve wracking). If you’re new to the dating game or this is your first relationship, figuring out how to push through that initial awkwardness with your first partner can be tough. Fortunately, with enough time and a little effort on your part, you can form a deep connection with your girlfriend and feel totally comfortable around her in no time!

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating and relationship coach, Mark Rosenfeld, founder of Make Him Yours. Check out the full interview here.

1

Talk to your girlfriend often.

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You can do it in person, over text, or even through a video call. The more you two talk and get to know each other, the less awkward you’ll both feel. Plus, texting and video calling while you aren’t together can help create inside jokes and experiences that you can refer to in-person. You might even try scheduling a time to talk to her, like when you get back home from school or finish work.^{[1]
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- Your conversations might start out a little bit surface level at first, which is fine! Over time, you’ll get deeper and deeper as you get to know each other more.
- Spice things up by sending her a voice message instead of a plain old text message. It will add some variety to your chats, and she can hear your tone of voice as you speak, too.^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  Mark Rosenfeld
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.}

2

Think of some conversation topics ahead of time.

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That way, if there’s an awkward pause, you already have something prepared. Try coming up with 2 or 3 conversation topics before you two hang out in person together. Then, ask her open-ended questions to keep the conversation flowing. Keep in mind, though, that some people are comfortable sitting in silence, so you don’t always have to talk with your girlfriend constantly. You might ask things like:^{[3]
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- “When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up?”
- “What’s your favorite smell?”
- “If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?”
- “What would you do with a million dollars?”

3

Be honest about your nervousness.

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Telling her how nervous you are can avoid some of the awkwardness. If you’re feeling a little uncomfortable or you just aren’t sure what to say, tell her! Chances are, she’s feeling a little awkward too, and then you two can chat or giggle about your nerves together.^{[4]
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- For instance, you could say, “To be honest, I’m feeling a little nervous right now. I’ve never done this before!”
- Or, “Contrary to popular belief, I’m not as cool and confident as I seem. I’m actually pretty nervous right now, haha.”

4

Take her out on more dates.

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Doing activities together can give you something to talk about. Plus, face-to-face interactions are a great way to strengthen your bond. Plan fun, spontaneous dates that your girlfriend looks forward to, like going mini golfing, taking a hike, or visiting a museum. Over time, your hang-outs will become more natural as you get to know each other.^{[5]
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- There’s no set amount of time that you should be spending together, but most couples like to go out on a date about once a week.
- Don’t feel pressured to spend a ton of money on your date, either! Even grabbing takeout and walking in the park can be a fun way to spend time with your girlfriend.^{[6]
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  Expert Source
  
  Mark Rosenfeld
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.}
- You could also try playing a board game, watching a movie, going on a picnic, working out together, seeing live music, going dancing, or going on a weekend trip somewhere.

5

Make eye contact and smile at her.

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Confident body language can help you feel less awkward. Even if you aren’t feeling like the most confident person in the world, when you see your girlfriend in person, try to smile at her and look her in the eyes. Starting off on the right foot is the perfect way to get over any initial awkwardness that might come with a new relationship.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.}
- She might have a little trouble meeting your eyes, especially if she’s shy. If that’s the case, don’t worry! She probably just needs a bit of time to warm up (just like you do).

6

Try holding her hand.

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Get closer to her by crossing the touch boundary. When you two are hanging out together, reach out and gently brush her hand. If she doesn’t pull away or flinch, gently grasp her hand in yours. You don’t have to make a big deal about it, but just keep holding her hand as you two chat or walk around together.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.}
- Don’t be afraid to try other small things too, like leaning your head on her shoulder or putting your arm around her. Although it might feel a little awkward at first, the more you do it, the more natural it will feel!

7

Give her a few compliments.

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Help her open up by expressing what you like about her. You could compliment her smile, her personality, or simply her looks. Try to find the right time and place: after you’ve just had a romantic date together is probably the perfect moment. Look her in the eyes and tell her how pretty she is, and don’t worry if it feels a little silly at first!^{[9]
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Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview. 29 July 2021.}
- For example, you might say, “Your hair looks so pretty tonight,” or, “You have the best laugh I’ve ever heard.”

8

Be spontaneous.

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Take some of the formality out of your relationship. Instead of always planning big, elaborate dates that you invite her on, try going out and doing something random or seeing where the night takes you. It will make your girlfriend realize how fun you are, and it can bring you two closer together!^{[10]
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- You don’t have to be spontaneous all the time (that could be a little exhausting), but every now and then is great!

9

Buy her a few small gifts.

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This can bring you two closer together and show her that you care. Don’t feel like you have to spend a ton of money, but try picking her up a little treat or a fun snack next time you’re at the store. Giving her a gift can make you feel more like you’re in a relationship and less like you’re just hanging out as friends.^{[11]
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- Or, you could give her a gift that gives you something to talk about. For instance, maybe you just read an awesome book that you want to share. You could buy her a copy and chat about it as she reads along.

10

Introduce her to your friends.

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Hanging out with other people can take some pressure off you. If your girlfriend is up to it, try introducing her to a few of your closest friends the next time you hang out. That way, they can get to know your girlfriend too, and she can see how you act in front of your buddies when you feel totally comfortable.^{[12]
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- Try to introduce her to one or two people at a time, especially if she’s feeling shy herself. Meeting a lot of new people at once can be overwhelming.

Community Q&A

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Question

How do I get my girlfriend not to feel awkward around me?

Asa Wunderink

Community Answer

Make physical contact. Put an arm around her or hold her hand. Always ask if it's the first few times, but once you're both comfortable, you don't need to ask. It may feel awkward at first, but you'll both settle into it after a few times. Try not to be too forward. Taking it slowly is a good way to make sure she doesn't feel uncomfortable. If she says no, be sure to respect her.

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Question

I know a girl who's very pretty and loving, but I am scared to talk to her, because I have been rejected so many times. What do I do?

Asa Wunderink

Community Answer

Be kind. Hold the door for her. Help her with homework. If she forgets something, you can remind her. Grab her backpack for her. Essentially, make her feel special in your eyes. Also, be kind to others. If she sees you being a kind person, she'll feel more open to you. Once you feel like you've established a good impression, talk to her, preferably at a dance or at lunch. It's good to start with a comment, and let it grow into a conversation.

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