12 Scientific Facts About Soulmates

Your significant other might be more than just your partner—they might be your soulmate

Co-authored by Dev Murphy, MA Reviewed by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Last Updated: September 18, 2024 Fact Checked

While “soulmates” haven’t been scientifically proven to exist, many people believe they do—and there are plenty of psychological facts that help support the idea that some people are perfectly suited for us! They understand us and support us, they share our goals and values, and everything about them just feels right. Want to learn more? Keep reading: we’ve compiled a list of facts about soulmates, below.

Things You Should Know

Soulmates support one another through thick and thin. They build each other up and encourage one another to pursue their dreams.
Soulmates are vulnerable with each other. Mutual trust and openness are cornerstones to a soulmate bond.
Soulmates are often believed to be romantic, but they could be platonic as well! You may have a deep soul connection with someone you just see as a friend.

1

Soulmates make each other feel positive.

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A good relationship is built on mutual respect and admiration. Soulmates support and empower one another: they encourage one another to follow their dreams. When you have a bad day, your soulmate is there to hug you and tell you tomorrow will be better. When you feel like you can’t do the tough things, they’re there to say, “Yes, you can!” And when you do, they’ll be in the audience, applauding like mad. And you’re their cheerleader, too!

2

Soulmates are vulnerable with one another.

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Vulnerability is essential to a healthy relationship. In order to have a successful, long-term relationship, it’s important to be open with your soulmate about everything. You can tell one another about your dreams and fears, your past experiences and goals for the future. And while being vulnerable is rarely easy, when you find someone who just gets you, someone you know you can trust, it makes it a lot easier to do!^{[1]
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- If you’re not used to being vulnerable, it may take some time and practice. But the more you see your partner responding to your vulnerability with love and care, without judgment, the easier it’ll become to be vulnerable with them.

3

Soulmates help each other through dark times.

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When you’re struggling with a job loss, a death, or just a rough day, your soulmate will be there to offer a hug and an encouraging word—or maybe just comforting silence. Healthy relationships involve being able to rely on one another for support and comfort in difficult times. Through mutual reliance, you may both come out the other side of a tough situation even stronger—and more connected than ever.

4

Soulmates’ goals tend to align.

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It’s certainly possible to meet someone and fall in love, only to realize they’re life trajectory looks totally different from yours. But usually, soulmate-level love involves 2 people whose lives are heading toward the same things, whether that’s getting married, having kids, never having kids, never getting married, moving to Tokyo, living on the moon, or staying in the same town you’ve lived in your whole life.^{[2]
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5

Soulmates might be best friends.

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You might be closer to your soulmate than to anyone else. While friends really make life meaningful, who’s to say your soulmate can’t be your lover and your BFF? Some people may become so close with their soulmate and spend so much time together that they may consider them their best friend.
- It makes sense: if you live together, they're likely the first person you see when you wake up and the last person you see when you go to bed. As your lives become more intertwined (by having kids or sharing incomes or what have you), you'll like rely on and trust them more than some of your close platonic friends.

6

Soulmates may be platonic or romantic.

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The exact definition of “soulmates” differs from person to person, and while many people think of your soulmate as the ultimate romantic connection, for others, soulmates can be platonic. That doesn’t mean the connection is any weaker or less worthy of celebration: in fact, while our romantic connections can be invaluable to our happiness and growth, for many people, friendship soulmates can help you live longer and enjoy a happier, more meaningful life.^{[3]
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7

Soulmates feel safe with each other.

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You may feel less anxious and more calm around them. The beginning of almost any relationship is associated with butterflies in the stomach or sweat on the palms, and that might include your relationship with your soulmate! But as your relationship develops, you’ll likely feel more secure and safe, knowing you can trust your soulmate with anything.
- Scientifically speaking, being around your soulmate may trigger the release of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin may give you warm fuzzy feelings, while your cortisol levels decrease, alleviating anxiety and stress.^{[4]
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8

Soulmates may be obsessed with each other.

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You might feel addicted because they make you feel so good. When you find “the one,” it’s easy to forget that you’re your own people. Due to their strong connection, it’s possible for soulmates to become too into each other, even to the point of codependence or obsession! Plus, being in love causes your body to release dopamine, which gives you a high similar to addiction.^{[5]
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- Being obsessed with your partner may result in you using your relationship as a tool to avoid thinking about painful or uncomfortable things. You may find you’re no longer able to enjoy your hobbies or time with friends because you only want to be with your soulmate.
- To cope with being overly attached to your soulmate, try engaging in other activities that release the same feel-good hormones: exercise, listen to music, or watch a comedy movie.^{[6]
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  - Meditating and journaling can help you feel less reliant on your soulmate for your emotional well-being.

9

Soulmates may have complementary personalities.

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Their differences make their relationship stronger. A common misunderstanding is that soulmates are exactly alike, when in reality, soulmates often have different but complementary personality traits. This doesn’t mean they don’t have things in common or aren’t alike in many ways, but in many cases, it’s their differences that bring out the best in one another and make their relationship stronger.^{[7]
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- For example, if you’re an introvert and your soulmate is an extrovert, you may help your partner become calmer and more introspective, while they may help bring out your social, outgoing side.

10

Soulmates don’t always agree on everything.

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All relationships take work, even soulmate relationships—and sometimes, that means you’ll have the occasional disagreement. Remember, soulmates aren’t carbon copies! In fact, it might be because you love and trust one another so much that you feel safe to disagree with one another: you know your soulmate is unlikely to blame you for disagreeing, and you know you can work through it together.

11

Soulmates benefit from good communication.

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A healthy relationship depends on open and honest communication. Soulmates aren’t perfect, and they don’t necessarily go into a relationship knowing how to resolve conflict or say what’s on their mind. But in a healthy partnership, both parties are willing to learn how to communicate and grow into more honest, open, reliable communicators.
- Open communication involves actively listening to one another, without judgment. Give your soulmate your full attention when they want to speak.^{[8]
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- Use “I” statements to ground what you say in your own experience. For instance, saying “You aren’t listening to me” instead of “I don’t really feel heard” may come off accusatory.

12

Soulmates may have great sexual chemistry.

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Your relationship might benefit from a strong sexual connection. If sex is important to you and your soulmate, it’s likely that your strong communication skills and intense bond will benefit you both in the bedroom. You care about each other’s sexual pleasure and health: you’re invested in helping one another feel good, while also feeling safe and secure.
- Because you and your soulmate trust and respect one another, you may find it easier to discuss your sexual needs, including what turns you on (and off) and your most intimate fantasies.^{[9]
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