Q&A for How to Deal With Mixed Signals

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  • Question
    How do you tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you?
    Philip Glickman, PsyD
    Philip Glickman, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Philip Glickman is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Director of Wellness Road Psychology with two locations in Dobbs Ferry and the Financial District of New York City. He specializes in cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness techniques, treatment of anxiety, and life coaching. Dr. Glickman is a member of the American Psychological Association. He holds a BA in Criminology and Psychology from The University of Maryland College Park and an MA in Forensic Psychology from The City University of New York. Dr. Glickman also holds a PsyD in School and Community Psychology from Hofstra University.
    Philip Glickman, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Try telling him straight away that he's giving mixed signals and see how he reacts. If he's able to have a mature conversation and explain what's happening, then that's a positive result. If he tiptoes around the conversation and don't try to explain the mixed signals, he may be confused, but he may also be playing with you.
  • Question
    What to do about a guy that gives mixed signals?
    Philip Glickman, PsyD
    Philip Glickman, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Philip Glickman is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and the Director of Wellness Road Psychology with two locations in Dobbs Ferry and the Financial District of New York City. He specializes in cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness techniques, treatment of anxiety, and life coaching. Dr. Glickman is a member of the American Psychological Association. He holds a BA in Criminology and Psychology from The University of Maryland College Park and an MA in Forensic Psychology from The City University of New York. Dr. Glickman also holds a PsyD in School and Community Psychology from Hofstra University.
    Philip Glickman, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Well, if you've been dating for a while and you're not certain about his feelings for you, the best thing you can do is to have a conversation about it. You don't need to ask him if you're "exclusive" or something like that, but try to get him on the same page as you.
  • Question
    What does it mean if my crush sometimes ignores me?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    It could mean many things. Most likely, they are simply busy. It's also possible that they have noticed your feelings and are feeling uncomfortable, or that they do not wish to talk to you. Try not to take it too personally; sometimes the best thing to do is ask them how they feel.
  • Question
    One of my closest friends confessed to me; I still haven't decided if I've felt the same. Lately, they've also been giving me mixed signals about whether or not they still like me that way. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Because you haven't said whether you like the person or not, they may feel rejected, which they're reflecting back on you. To make the situation better, you're going to need to decide whether you want to be with them and then give the person an answer.
  • Question
    My crush said he knows someone likes him, but cannot tell me who it is. What does that mean?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Your crush may be hinting that he knows it is you but is too shy to admit it.
  • Question
    My crush has blocked me on WhatsAPP but later she sent me a request from her Instagram account. She later blocked me everywhere. She is flirty and makes eye contact a lot. Does she like me?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    If she has any friends who dislike you, they might've blocked you from her social media accounts (just to prevent the relationship from going any further). Depending on what type of person she is, you can always ask her if she likes you, or just say something like, "why'd you block me on whatsapp?" That's really the only way to know.
  • Question
    Is it even worth fighting for a guy who is sending mixed signals?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    It can be! But you have to be sure that he likes you back before pursuing him more actively. Try talking to him casually and notice his behavior - is he nervous? Is he making eye contact or smiling? If yes, then that's a sign that he likes you and might be worth pursuing,
  • Question
    I confessed to my friend a while back and got friend zoned but lately, she has been sending me mixed signals. What should I do?
    Awesomeanime
    Awesomeanime
    Community Answer
    Be patient with her, give her some time and ask her if she is still interested. Maybe you misunderstood the situation. Be honest and clear with her.
  • Question
    What if the guy stares at me at all time and ignores me whenever I try to initiate a conversation or just say "hi" to him?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    He may just be shy. Don't take it the wrong way he just needs to get used to you. If he isn't shy, he isn't interested though, so don't carry on like this for a long time.
  • Question
    My crush keeps sending me mixed signals. He's quite shy, but one day he could be sending positive signals, and the next he barely acknowledges me. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Talk to him. You don't necessarily have to tell him you have a crush on him, or ask him directly if he likes you, though in this case that might be your best option. Try flirting with him and see how he reacts. Read his facial expression and body language. You could also try asking his friends what he thinks of you, they probably know.
  • Question
    Why is she mostly really nice to me when she's on her own, but hates me when she's with her friends?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    When people are with their friends, they sometimes do crazy things simply trying to fit in. You can try to get as much alone time with this person as you can, and if she continues being nice to you when she's alone, she might be nice to you around her friends, too, in time.
  • Question
    What if he shows signs that he likes you and he agrees to go out, but then cancels because he's too busy?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Give him the benefit of the doubt. If he has previously shown signs that he likes you, he could really be busy. Schedule another date and see what happens. If he cancels again or does not show up, then he's probably not interested in you, and you're reading too much into his actions.
  • Question
    What do I do when he compliments me over text but then never texts me back the day after? He said I looked pretty today.
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    He could simply be busy, or he may not be that interested. Try seeing if he wants to go out with you. If he doesn't seem to want to, consider moving on.
  • Question
    I have a crush and he is nice to me most of the time and he also shows signs he likes me (he hasn't told me yet). If I pretend to not like him, he ignores me and he is mean. Why does he do this?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    The question you need to ask yourself is why do you feel the need to pretend like you don't like him? How do you expect he will respond if you act like you don't like him?
  • Question
    If she doesn't seem to like me when her friends are around, how do I get some alone time with her?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Just ask her (when her friends aren't around) if she'd like to go get coffee or go to a movie or something. It's unlikely she'll invite her friends along if you ask her to do something that is a pretty standard "date" activity. If she does, she's almost certainly not interested in you romantically.
  • Question
    My friend is sometimes physically touchy and sometimes she won't touch me at all and will act distant. I am sure that she is attracted to me, but I am getting annoyed with these mixed signals. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Just sit her down and ask her what is wrong. Ask her if she likes you or not. If you do not like her make sure to let her down easily, make sure to mention you do not want this to affect your friendship.
  • Question
    What does it mean if my crush has been seeing a girl but sends hints at me by stating that he could possibly like me?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    He might be attracted to you, but be careful; if he pursues you before breaking up with his current girl, he's not a good guy.
  • Question
    Someone who used to like me likes me again, but now he's sending mixed signals. I thought I liked him back, but now I'm not so sure. He's kind of still there, but sort of drifting. Any advice?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Well, first you have to decide if you like him or not. If you do, then you can confront him about it.
  • Question
    What if you are a girl and your female friend is on and off about you?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Sometimes flirting can be confused with friendliness. If you guys are already friends, you could be reading friendliness as flirtiness. If she's also queer, then she could definitely be flirting with you. If not, you're most likely reading her wrong. The best thing to do is ask.
  • Question
    My crush is my best friend. He likes a girl and he says he wants to move on, and he flirts with me a lot, but he says he hasn't moved on yet. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Ask him about the flirtation. Ask what he means by it and if he gets weird about it, just say that someone asked if he likes you.
  • Question
    My crush friendzoned me. I starting maintaining my distance. Two months after the end of our friendship, he sent me a picture of his abs. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Tell him that you can't be friends with him anymore, and that you don't want him sending you anymore pictures. If he continues to do it anyway, block his number. I know it seems harsh, but this is the only way you'll be able to give yourself the space to get over this. He's trying to lead you on because he likes the attention he gets from you. Don't put up with it.
  • Question
    What does it mean if I told him I like him and asked if he likes me back and he replied "No answer," but he texts me a lot and talks to me at school?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    It is possible that your crush doesn't have the same feelings as you do, but still wants to maintain your friendship. He might not want to not hurt your feelings. He might also like you back and be too shy to tell you how he feels. For now, just work on being good friends, and see how things develop.
  • Question
    My crush and I dated for all of two hours. This has happened multiple times. He is such a flirt! Does it mean he likes me? My friends say he says bad things about me.
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    If he really liked you he would want to keep you in his life. Ask him about it and tell him how you are feeling. If most of your friends are telling you that then they might be right. If he flirts with other girls then maybe he isn't ready to date and it might be best to let it go or just be friends.
  • Question
    My wife says she doesn't want to be with me, but still gives me a kiss in the morning and tells me to have a nice day. Why is this?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Your wife might be trying to act civil towards you even though she doesn't want to be with you anymore; this will hopefully lead to a more amicable separation. You can ask her directly about her mixed signals if you want clarification though.
  • Question
    What if I offered to help her and she gave me a sad face?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    She might be having a bad day. Don't push her to accept your help, just let her know you're available. Maybe try making a joke or humorous comment to cheer her up.
  • Question
    I find it hard to read other people. Is this the same as "mixed signals"?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    No. Mixed signals generally refers to when a person acts one way some of the time, and then entirely differently at other times, i.e. a person who treats you like you're dating one minute, and then ignores you the next. It sounds like you have trouble picking up on social cues, which is a different issue entirely. Check out How to Read People.
  • Question
    My woman friend asks me out and then cancels, comes back and chats like nothing has happened. I really like her, but am I misreading the situation?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Perhaps she's feeling skeptical, or even nervous. If it's her first time, then she's most likely thinking that she'll affect you badly in some way. Try to talk to her about it, asking her to be honest. If she says nothing, try to investigate. See what's making her feel different around you, but don't act different, too.
  • Question
    He sent me his secret photo, gave me a birthday gift and then a surprise valentine gift. I thought he likes me, but I found out that some other friends got the same Valentine gift too. So what does he mean with me?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    He is a player and he thinks that he has to give every girl he goes out with equal treatment because in his mind, all of you are his and he isn't about to commit himself to any single one of you.
  • Question
    At a party he stroked my legs and arms as if he was flirting and liked me. Since then though he's avoided me. Why would this be?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Maybe he changed his mind, maybe he was being influenced by alcohol, and maybe he's just a player.
  • Question
    My crush sometimes asking me if I've eaten yet, how was my day and sometimes she ignores my chat although we talked a lot before. what does it mean? Is she being polite?
    Lrb
    Lrb
    Community Answer
    Probably. A great way to find out is to ask her on a date, or at least tell her that you have feelings for her and would like to ask if she's interested. Then you'll know! Just communicate!
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