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If you're going to invest time and energy in your boyfriend, you want to make sure he's treating you right. How can you tell if he's just being sweet for show or if he's the real deal? Since a partner's actions are the best way to tell whether they actually respect you, we'll review key behaviors that prove your connection is based on trust, compassion, and empathy. Read on to see how your S.O. measures up!

1

He's available when you need to talk.

  1. If you send a simple text or say that it’d really help to speak your mind, he says he wants to know more. Maybe you’re going through a hard time or you’re actually really excited. Because he wants you in the best head space possible, your boyfriend will comfort you or celebrate with you, depending on what you ask for.[1]
    • If he’s really busy but finds time in his schedule, you know you’re his priority.
    • If he calls to check in because he wants to make sure you’re okay.
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3

He’s always honest with you.

  1. Does he tell you where he’s going and who he’s hanging out with? If you’re ever curious about anything, such as his energy level or his mood, is he willing to discuss it?[4] If your boyfriend reveals whatever he can, then he wants a dynamic based on trust.[5]
    • He also reaches out to you when he needs a confidante because knows you both can handle sensitive info.
    • If he isn’t ready or comfortable with discussing something personal, he explains that he needs more time or he sets a polite boundary.
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5

He’s too confident to be jealous.

  1. Have you noticed that he avoids possessive behavior? If so, you have an emotionally balanced boyfriend. Whenever he celebrates how social you are, he just wants you to enjoy time with your inner circle of friends.[6]
    • If he wants you to talk about how much fun you have, then he feels reassured that you’re happy.
    • If he seems genuinely interested in your buddies and compliments them, he isn’t threatened at all.
    • He also asks if you’ve hung out with your favorite people lately just to make sure you’re recharged.
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6

He gives you space when you need it.

  1. If he tells you that your needs come before the relationship, then he has the right priorities. His positive attitude about your independence tells you that two people can walk their own paths without growing apart.[7]
    • He’s more interested in quality time than in spending every minute together.
    • Your health matters to him, so he asks if you’re taking care of yourself.
    • He’s completely fine if you need to cancel or skip a date to focus on your personal growth.
7

He supports your dreams.

  1. Does he also make it clear how much he believes in you? If you know you have the talents and the smarts to achieve any of your goals, your boyfriend still wants you to have the best shot possible. In order to give you an extra edge and boost your confidence, he’s always ready to cheer you on and tell you why you’re so special.[8]
    • He’s actually excited when you’re busy with projects because he knows you’re advancing yourself.
    • It also gives him lots of satisfaction when he pictures how driven you are.
    • Your boyfriend probably also tells you how he wants a relationship where you’re both focused on your futures.
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8

He takes you on actual dates.

  1. If he tells you that he wants to show you a good time and that he wants to show you off, then it’s proof that he adores you and he’s proud of you. Whether your relationship has just started or it’s been going on for a while, your boyfriend will want to keep winning you over.[9]
    • Taking you out in public shows respect because he’s telling the world that you matter to him and that he’d never hide you.
    • If you’re exclusive, then it’s also very likely that he’s following through with his commitment because everyone in your area can see you two together.
    • He’s also just spontaneously romantic because he thinks you deserve fun surprises.
9

He says your company is enough for him.

  1. If you’re tired, stressed, or just want to kick back, he’s the first one to suggest a low-key hangout or a chill night in. Ask yourself—does he worship you even when you’re dressed down and have nowhere to go? If so, then you have an S.O. who values you in any of your states because they’re all just part of his favorite person.[10]
    • Since you both bring out the best in each other, you’re always in a good mood around him.
    • Even if you’re sad or frustrated, he tries best to distract or comfort you.
    • If you need extra support, he discusses how to take care of your mental health, such as talking to friends or a counselor.
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10

He never pressures you.

  1. When you’re expressing any limits to him, you never have to speak up twice.[11] As soon as he hears what you are comfortable with and what you won’t accept, your boyfriend knows how to behave around you. On top of that, he thanks you for highlighting what he needs to know about you.[12]
    • Whenever you both explore anything new, he checks in. For example, he might ask, “Would you be okay meeting my parents?”
11

He’s sincere about his intentions.

  1. You always get the sense that he’d never lead you on—deep down, you know that every detail he shares is practical and realistic.[13] He sees the big picture and manages his expectations so he never lets you down.
    • For example, instead of promising that he’ll be with you forever, he may say something like, “I’ll keep working on strengthening our relationship.”
    • Once he’s ready to take a big step, like confessing his love for you, you definitely know it’s the truth based on how much honesty and integrity he has.
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    If your boyfriend is gay, you could get another boyfriend and maybe break up with him and make friends with your boyfriend since your boyfriend is dating another who is gay.
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    Any two Sun signs can "work" depending on many other factors, such as Moon signs, rising signs and housing and planetary aspects. It's complicated. Much easier just to be nice to each other.
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  1. https://www.regain.us/advice/love/what-is-unconditional-love/
  2. Laura Richer. Licensed Mental Health Counselor. Expert Interview. 24 September 2021.
  3. https://www.loveisrespect.org/resources/what-are-my-boundaries/
  4. Laura Richer. Licensed Mental Health Counselor. Expert Interview. 24 September 2021.

About This Article

Laura Richer
Co-authored by:
Licensed Mental Health Counselor
This article was co-authored by Laura Richer and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Flamiano. Laura Richer is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and the Founder of Anchor Light Therapy Collective, a multi-disciplinary mental health counseling clinic in Seattle, Washington. With more than ten years of experience in the mental health sector, she specializes in working with couples and individuals and supporting them in becoming empowered to direct their destiny. Laura holds a BA in English from Western Washington University and an MA in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. She also received her Hypnotherapy Practitioner Training from Bastyr University, Couples Counseling Certification from The Gottman Institute, and Master Life Coach Certification from Seattle Life Coach Training. Laura is the host of the podcast Holding Ground which explores anything and everything in the world of mental health and positive psychology. This article has been viewed 23,299 times.
14 votes - 61%
Co-authors: 5
Updated: March 22, 2024
Views: 23,299
Categories: Relationships
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 23,299 times.

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