Do We Have Sexual Chemistry?

Take this quiz to see how sexually compatible you and your partner are.

Do you ever wonder what sort of chemistry you might have with your crush or your partner? Do sparks fly? If you got together, would your chemistry be a lit match or a wildfire? We’re here to help you find out.

Just think of that special someone and answer these intimate questions, and we’ll run the numbers on your sexual chemistry.

Two smiling people embracing, with the man's face nuzling into the woman's.

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Questions Overview

1. How do you feel inside when you’re around this person?
  1. Totally electric. Like I can almost see sparks between us.
  2. Warm and bright, like the sun is shining just for me.
  3. Satisfied and content, like I’m where I’m supposed to be.
  4. Bittersweet, like things are great, but I wonder if there’s more…
2. Do you ever dream about this person, or about being around them?
  1. All the time. Like almost every night.
  2. I definitely have dreams about them, but not super often.
  3. I've had one or two dreams about them, and I hope I have more!
  4. I haven't really ever dreamed about them.
3. Do you two ever make long eye contact, where neither person looks away?
  1. Yes, and it feels really charged.
  2. We hold contact, but not too long. I don't want to seem weird!
  3. I like catching their eye, but we haven’t held long contact.
  4. I tend to look away when our eyes meet.
4. Do you tend to laugh and giggle a lot around each other?
  1. We laugh at everything together! Sometimes at things that aren't even funny.
  2. We laugh together, but a normal amount.
  3. We're pretty comfortable and can laugh together, but we keep it mostly cool.
  4. I don't think we're quite comfortable enough to laugh like that yet.
5. Do you two tease each other (without being unkind) a lot?
  1. Yes, we have a really playful vibe with each other.
  2. Sometimes.
  3. Not really. We don’t really have a playful energy with each other.
  4. No, I think we would just fight if we tried teasing each other.
6. Has anyone ever said that you two would make a good couple, just from watching you interact?
  1. Yes, people are always saying we look great together.
  2. Sure, we've been told we'd make a good couple. It was a little embarrassing, though.
  3. Nobody has ever said it out loud, but I think we'd make a good pair.
  4. I don't know, or I don't remember.
7. Do you find that you two sit close to each other a lot?
  1. Yes! Even when we’re in a group, we end up sitting super close to each other.
  2. I guess now that you mention it, we do sometimes.
  3. No, I don’t think so. I don’t feel myself being drawn to them like that.
  4. No, definitely not. I think we both tend to stay pretty far from each other.
8. What do you think of them, what crosses your mind? Be honest, and choose the closest answer!
  1. I feel like I want alone time with them! More than with anyone else I know.
  2. I feel super attracted to them.
  3. I feel affectionate, but I wish I felt even more affectionate.
  4. I feel like there's something missing between us, honestly.
9. Have you been intimate with them before? We're talking at least a kiss.
  1. Yes, and I want to do it again!
  2. No, but I think we both want to!
  3. Yes, but I'm not sure how I feel about it.
  4. No, and I'm not sure it will ever happen...
10. When you spend time with them, do your thoughts ever wander to other things?
  1. Not really. I'm totally locked in and focused on spending time with them.
  2. Sometimes, but only for a moment before I'm right back in it.
  3. Sometimes, and it can be hard to stay focused on them.
  4. My thoughts wander often, or all the time.
11. Be honest: Do you think they feel as close to you as you are to them?
  1. Absolutely. We definitely match each other's energy.
  2. Almost, but I'm maybe more into them than they are into me.
  3. Almost, but they're maybe more into me than I am into them.
  4. Not really. The relationship is sorta one-sided.

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Increasing Your Sexual Chemistry

Sex is all about chemistry. After all, what’s the point if you don’t feel totally comfortable, relaxed, and like you’re having fun with your partner? But then, what is “chemistry,” exactly? What do we mean when we say that? Great question! Chemistry looks different for each and every couple or pairing, but there are a few key things to look for:

Fun: If you’re not having fun, then suddenly sex feels more like work than it feels like forging a meaningful connection, or even just doing something worthwhile. Healthy sex between partners that have chemistry is enjoyable and exciting, not a slog or an obligation.

Safety: Safety is every bit as important as fun, if not more. The truth is, sex isn’t just a game to play for a good time. There are health and emotional risks, and if your partner disregards those risks, then it places both of you in danger.

Collaboration: It takes two to tango! This is where “chemistry” really comes into play. Whether you think of sex as a give-and-take, or prefer to be more of a giver or more of a taker, it’s important that your partner is on board and understands your wants and needs, and also that you understand your partner’s wants and needs.

So how do you make sure your sexual chemistry checks those 3 boxes? Here’s where you should start:

Communicate
Sex is something that often just happens, and if you’re lucky, you and your partner(s) will enjoy navigating it in the moment. But often, it’s not enough to just ride the moment, and that’s where communication becomes important. If you’re not getting what you want or need, it’s okay to say so! Your partner can’t read your mind, so telling them outright is often the best way to go.

Set boundaries
Even if you feel like you and your partner are closer than two people could ever be, you still need boundaries. What’s on the table? What’s a line you won’t cross? Are you comfortable saying “no” to something? (Because you should always be comfortable saying no!) Setting boundaries isn’t some sort of wet rag that totally kills the mood—instead, it helps you nurture the right mood and ensures that the mood won’t die because of a mistake that could’ve been avoided.

Play it safe
Sexual health is no joke. If you’re not totally sure of your partner’s sexual health, use protection to avoid getting a sexually transmitted disease. Talk to your partner about the possibility of conception, and proceed accordingly. Get tested for STDs regularly—make it a bonding experience, if you like! And don’t forget to wash up before and after!

Enjoy each other!
At the end of the day, sex should be something that brings you closer to your partner, whether your goal is to have fun, start a family, or just to learn more about each other. Remind yourself of why you’re doing it, and enjoy it for those reasons. And if you’re ever not enjoying it, step back and have that talk. Your physical and mental wellness are too precious to disregard like that.

Want to learn more?

For more information about sexual health, visit these valuable resources:

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Any medically related content, whether User Content or otherwise found on the Service, is not intended to be medical advice or instructions for medical diagnosis or treatment, and no physician-patient or psychotherapist-patient relationship is, or is intended to be, created.

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