How to Romantically Hug a Guy

Co-authored by LeTisha Underwood

Last Updated: September 7, 2024 Fact Checked

When you like someone, you naturally want to be closer to him. Unfortunately, liking someone can also make you feel self-conscious about every little thing and make it easy to get flustered about little things like hugs. Hugs are great, though, and needn’t be a source of anxiety.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Hugging Hello and Goodbye

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A hug shouldn’t come out of nowhere. Give him friendly, flirty physical cues to let him know that you care and you want to be close to him.^{[1]
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LeTisha Underwood
Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Interview. 14 December 2021.}
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Wrap your arms around him. Where you put your arms is up to you and depends on his height, your height, and each of your personal hugging preferences. You might want to try working in some casual caresses if it feels appropriate.^{[2]
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- You can put both arms around his neck and keep one palm gently on the nape of his neck.^{[3]
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  LeTisha Underwood
  Certified Professional Matchmaker
  
  Expert Interview. 14 December 2021.}
- If your arms are around his neck, run your fingers softly through the hair at the base of his neck.
- If your arms are around his torso, rub his back gently.
- A behind-the-back hug can also be a good way to hug a guy hello. This sort of hug says, “you are mine,” so it should be reserved for someone you’re already close to. Slip your hands under his arms from behind, and reach up to hold his shoulders tightly, pressing yourself against him. Rest your face against his back or shoulder and hold him firmly but gently (it’s a hug, not a wrestling hold).
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A big part of what separates friendly hugs from romantic hugs is the amount of time you spend in each other’s arms.^{[4]
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Expert Source

LeTisha Underwood
Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Interview. 14 December 2021.} Spend a moment enjoying the feeling of his body against yours. Take a deep breath, and let it out with a slight sigh.^{[5]
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Squeeze and let go. Make eye contact and smile again as you break apart. If you are feeling especially affectionate, you might wrap your fingers in his as you separate, and give him a flirty look as you swing your arm gently for a moment before dropping his hand.
- A common way to signify the end of a hug is to give someone’s back a quick rub or pat.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Hugging Intimately

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If the two of you are having an intimate moment, your eyes will communicate a lot about how you are feeling. Smile at him and move your body closer.
If you are holding hands, you can pull him near. You might also place a hand on his hip or gently tug his shirt.
Let the anticipation build for a moment, your body lightly touching his. Look at his face to gauge how he is feeling. Maybe take his hand, or put a hand on his waist.
4
Wrap your arms around him firmly. Breathe, and relax into his body. You might lean your head against his chest or shoulder, or move one of your hands down to hold one of his. Stay in this position for a while, enjoying the closeness. Feel his breathing. Listen for his heartbeat. Relax into the moment. Don’t feel any pressure to speak—your body will speak for you.^{[6]
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- It’s up to you whether or not to rub his back with your hands. A gentle back rub can feel nice, but if you want to comfort someone or make him feel safe, sometimes it’s best just to hold him.
Squeeze him gently, and lean back. Grab his hand as you break apart, and give that a light squeeze as well before letting go. Look into his eyes, and give him your most affectionate, trusting smile.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Hugging Passionately

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A passionate hug shouldn’t come out of nowhere. Flirt with him first. Make it clear you are interested in him.
You can do this by taking his hand, putting an arm around his waist, or tugging the front of his shirt. Pull his hips in to your hips, run your hand over his back, and give him a sexy smile.
Wrap your arms around him and pull him even closer. Notice the physical sensation of being so close. Smell him. Feel his arms around you. Enjoy yourself.
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Show him you enjoy being close to him. Run a hand through his hair, or across his back. Make a soft, “mmm” sound. If you're enjoying the hug, he should be able to sense it.^{[7]
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- A quick back rub is not sensual. Move your hands slowly, exploring his body.
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Do what feels right. Maybe a hug is all the passion you’re up to right now, maybe not. Often a passionate hug is leading to more, but it doesn’t have to.
- If you want to turn the hug into a kiss, lean your torso back so your hips are still pressed together, look him in the eyes, and go for it.^{[8]
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- If you want to end the hug, squeeze him gently, and lean back. Grab his hand as you break apart, and give it a light squeeze before letting go. Look into his eyes, and give him a mischievous smile as you break away.

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I like a guy and he knows it. He hugs me always while meeting and leaving. I don't know how to take this further. What should I do?

Tom De Backer

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The main difference between a friendly hug and a romantic one is the time spent hugging. Once he's hugging you, tighten your grip to signal you don't want it to end just yet. There are many flirting techniques you can use to see if he likes you back. Stop talking abruptly, look him in the eye and lean into him ever so slightly. Alternatively, you could just ask him how he feels, tell him how you feel, or ask for a hug in between the hello and goodbye hug.

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We're more than friends, but not yet lovers. How do I hug him?

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There are lots of different ways, the way I started my first hug it was more of a "just friends" hug even though we totally liked each other. They get more intimate as you go. Just act naturally, you'll know what to do.

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How can I flee from the influence of others?

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Realizing you are under the influence is a good start. Try to find out exactly what or who is being a negative influence, then avoid it.

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Tips

Extreme height differences can make hugging a more daunting process, but you don’t need to overthink it. If you and the guy you are hugging are close enough in height, rest your head against his shoulder. If he is significantly taller than you, rest your head against his chest. If you are taller than he is, dip your head to be closer to his; any placement that increases the amount of body-to-body contact is good, but be sure to avoid making him feel tiny by resting your chin on the top of his head.

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Don't overthink the hug, let it come naturally and don't speak.

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