How to Run Away Intelligently

While it may sound liberating and glamorous, running away is typically not very fun. You may end up sleeping on the street, scrounging for food, and life is unlikely to be easy. That being said, sometimes a home situation is so bad that running away still looks like the best idea. So, if you’re going to actually go through with this, we're here to help you learn what you'll be up against to give you the best odds of staying safe.

How to Run Away from Home

If you have to run away from home, save up enough money to survive. Find somewhere safe to sleep and get a job so you can support yourself. Bring clothes, toiletries, a sleeping bag, and any essential documents or medications with you. Watch out for people who may try to harm or take advantage of you.

Section 1 of 6:

Essential Preparation

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1
Save up as much cash as you reasonably can. Ideally, you'll have at least $5,000 with you. That may sound like a lot, but $5,000 can seem to disappear in no time at all. The last thing you want is to realize the morning after your escape that you can't afford breakfast. When you get in a tight spot, you'll be glad you have the money.^{[1]
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- This advice doesn’t apply if you have a job and a place to stay lined up. If you're one of the lucky few who have a pre-approved destination in mind, budget accordingly.
2
Figure out where you’re going to go. Sometimes runaways just go. That's the beauty of it. However, just going can be particularly stressful. It's not safe these days to just wander wherever you’d like. Licensed Master Social Worker Sabrina Grover points out that it’s best if you choose a location where you know you’re going to be supported by other people and given safety.
- Youth shelters are a good place to start. They're not a good place to stay forever, but they can give you the time to get your situation figured out.
- A friend or extended family member can be a good option, too, but do know that puts them in a tough place when it comes to your parents. They are legally bound to say they know where you are if your parents have filed a report on your disappearance. However, you may be able to get away with a few days, no questions asked (and food on the table).
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3
Pack a bag with your essential gear ahead of time. Get a good, waterproof backpack (you never know if you'll get caught in the snow or rain). Pack a warm sleeping bag, a flashlight (and spare batteries), a water bottle with a filter, storable food, a compass, layered clothing, and your valuable possessions. If you have a room, it can also be nice to have a pillow with you.^{[2]
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- Also, pack toiletries, like a toothbrush and soap, medications, and any essential documents may need. If you never plan on coming back, you’ll likely want your social security card, birth certificate, etc.
- Remember that you'll take this wherever you go, like a backpacker. It'll be annoying as much as it'll be useful. Also, remember that what you carry around determines your look. Do you look like a backpacker, tourist, or shifty runaway?
- Sleeping inside makes it hard to realize just how cold it gets at night in most parts of the world. Bring long underwear and warm clothing with you, even if you're not sure you'll need it. It's better to be safe than sorry, and warmth is a necessity.
4
Leave a note for your family to find to avoid serious penalties. Though it may seem counterintuitive, you’re best off hiding a note informing the authorities of your intent to run away so they don’t think you were kidnapped or murdered. The authorities are going to investigate a kidnapping more thoroughly than a runaway case.^{[3]
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- The odds you are never discovered or found after running away are very slim. There will be repercussions if you run away, so save yourself some future headaches by leaving a note that explains what you’re doing.

Section 2 of 6:

Leaving Home

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Traveling and sleeping out in the frigid rain or falling snow is tough. If you can, wait until the weather gets nicer. You'll be spending a large amount of time outside—day and night—so it's best to have Mother Nature on your side.^{[4]
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Take the bus or train if you don’t have a vehicle. Once you're out of the house (whether it's after school or while your parents are asleep), get to the nearest bus or train station. Take a look at the schedule, and get one whichever one comes next. Hop on, and you're out of there.
- If you decide to travel across country borders, try to do so within the first 12 hours of departure. Your passport photo will be easily recognizable by border control after your parent has had you declared an official missing person.
- You are less likely to be recognized if you are not near your home. If you’re trying to avoid someone, you may be best off wearing sunglasses and a hat while you travel.
- Don't talk about your story to other passengers. They may not take pity on you (and instead take pity on your parents) and alert the police to your situation. If anyone asks, either come up with a story or tell them you'd just like to keep to yourself.
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Keep your digital footprint clean. Don't update your social media every day ranting about how you can’t wait to leave home. Posting stuff like, “I'm so tired of this crap. I'm going to run away!” may lead to getting caught. Bring your phone with you—you may need it in emergencies—but don’t update your social media. You may end up dropping clues that get you caught.^{[5]
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- It is absolutely too unsafe to leave home without a way to contact authorities. If you get lost in the wilderness or end up around a questionable stranger, you’ll be happy you have your phone.
If you know people are searching for you and you don't want to be found, you'll need to change what you look like to raise fewer eyebrows. The easiest thing to do is dye your hair. Wherever you do this (though it will likely be a public bathroom), be sure to clean up after yourself.^{[6]
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Rely on help from friends or family who won’t rat you out. The fact of the matter is that you're going to get lonely. You're going to be tempted to call people from your past, but if you want them to stay part of your past, you can't. Only contact people if you are absolutely, positively confident they will not inform the authorities.^{[7]
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- And even then, exercise caution. They may tell someone who will tell someone who will tell the authorities. The gossip chain is usually pretty hard to pin down, and it's always flowing from ear to ear somewhere.

Section 3 of 6:

Surviving as a Runaway

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1
Find somewhere safe and dry to sleep. If you don't have a bed to sleep in (which will be the case most nights), the best spots to sleep are benches, bus stops, parks, and under awnings of closed businesses. If anyone gives you a hard time, go somewhere that's open 24 hours a day, like a train or bus station.^{[8]
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- If you are in a place surrounded by people, know that you have a higher chance of police or concerned pedestrians questioning you about your predicament. Always be prepared with a backstory.
- Make sure that wherever you are that's empty at night is still empty in the morning. That church parking lot on Saturday evening may seem safe and secure, but come Sunday morning, it'll be busy.
2
Find cheap, but safe, living quarters. Essentially, you have four options: living with a friend, living on the streets, living in a youth shelter, or squatting. They all have their advantages and disadvantages (namely, squatting is illegal). That being said, in time you'll need to find a place—if you can land a job and then find a cheap room to rent (rented by roommates, not a landlord), that's ideal. You don't want to live forever as a runaway.^{[9]
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- Whatever you do, do not steal any items from wherever you are staying. Stealing would make you a wanted criminal, and the authorities would be more likely to track you down.
3
Eat on the cheap and plan your meals in advance. Food is expensive. Apart from eating cheaply at grocery stores by just buying loaves of bread, cheese, and peanut butter, you can also work eating for free into your repertoire.^{[10]
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- Dumpsters behind grocery stores and restaurants often throw out the food they can't sell. It's not necessarily old—they just can't sell it. Go at night after closing and you may be rewarded.
- Poke around at buffets. When a party gets up, you go in for the pounce. Uneaten food for the win! Just know this idea can get you in trouble.
- Ask for food. If you go to a restaurant, cafe, or hospital, they may take pity on you and give you some of the food they know they probably won't or can't sell. Just remember to put on your kindest smile when you do so.
4
Get a job. If you're sixteen or older, go out and get a job to help settle down in your new location. It's the best way to keep your cash flowing—and besides, you didn't want to go back home anyway, right? You'll probably need to provide an employer with a phone number and address, though.^{[11]
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- If you're not sixteen, see if you can find day-to-day, cash-in-hand work. This will likely be manual labor but, at least it's something. Answering flyers posted to community boards and checking sites like Craigslist are your best bets.

Section 4 of 6:

Staying Safe

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1
Prepare yourself against potential robbers and bad actors. The world isn't a very friendly place, especially when you're living on the street. If you act afraid and make yourself a target, you may find yourself the victim of a petty crime and without all your cash and belongings. Keep these points in mind:^{[12]
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- Act confident wherever you go. Being nervous invites those looking for prey to come up to you and take advantage of you. Carry a knife with you for self-defense (it's not pretty advice, but it's real).
- Use a secret compartment in your backpack, if possible. If they raid your stuff, they may skip over the lining of your bag—you can keep a small laptop or something flat in there to mirror the structure of the bag.
- There's such a thing as “adventure underwear,” and it has pockets. Thieves will generally not check your underwear, so keeping a wad of cash in there is a pretty safe bet.
- If you are in a public area and someone's following you, walk into the nearest store. Chances are they won't follow.
2
Know the risks of committing the crime of running away. If you live in the states, it is illegal to run away from home under the age of 18 in Georgia, Idaho, Kentucky, Nebraska, South Carolina, Texas, Utah, West Virginia, and Wyoming. If you get caught or return home, you may be facing a penalty. In other countries, it varies by jurisdiction. And even if it is not illegal, you generally do not have rights if found and they’ll send you home, even if it is against your will. You’ll likely have non-criminal violations to deal with too. It's important to go in with this knowledge so you know what you're in for.^{[13]
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- If you have run away several times, you may become a child of the state and be forced into the foster system, or otherwise away from your home when found. You are then deemed a “Child in Need of Supervision” and the courts will determine what to do with you. Because of situations like this, it's best to avoid the authorities at all costs.
3
Call a runaway hotline for support when you need it. If worst comes to worst, you can always call a runaway hotline in your country. They can either set you up temporarily at a shelter or even pay for your ticket home (bus or train, usually). They also offer counsel and can be an understanding ear should you need one.^{[14]
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- Use the HUD Find Shelter search engine if you’re in a pinch and need shelter, food, healthcare, or clothing.
- In the US, that number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. In the UK, Childline offers similar services at 0800 1111. Covenant House, based in Los Angeles but operating in many countries in North America and Central America, offers shelter to youth, and their main number is (323) 461-3131.^{[15]
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Section 5 of 6:

Is it okay if I run away?

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Running away is dangerous and a bad idea. You almost positively have a better option available to you. If you do run away, you are likely to be caught and get in trouble. At worst, you might encounter someone dangerous along the way who tries to take advantage of you. We completely get it if life is hard and you feel like running away is the only choice, but you almost positively have options you haven’t considered yet.^{[16]
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- If you’re being abused at home: Call 800-799-7233 or text “BEGIN” to 88788. If you can, tell a teacher you respect or go to a police station and explain what’s going on. We know this is scary, but they will help you and keep you safe.
- If you’re struggling with mental health issues: Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (988) or text "HOME" to 741741. Even if you aren’t suicidal, they’ll direct you to resources that can support you—even if your parents don’t think anything is wrong.
- If you’re dealing with social problems: Tell your parents or a teacher you can trust. It can be really hard to deal with bullying or handle a heavy breakup, but things can and will get better.

Section 6 of 6:

What happens when a kid runs away?

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The police are contacted and a runaway report is filed. Whoever cares for you will likely call the authorities. They’ll file a report and a sort of “keep an eye out” memo will be issued for you. From there, the police and your guardians will try to track you down and find you.^{[17]
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- What happens when a runaway is caught? You’ll likely be charged with a crime or violation if the police get involved. Truancy, curfew violations, reckless endangerment—they're all serious charges. All of this is to say it’s not worth the risk.

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Try to make new friends with your new name after leaving to erase any feelings of loneliness.

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If you are running away to a foreign country, make sure it is a safe one. If you are a 15-year-old girl, running away to Ciudad Juárez is not the smartest thing you could do. You should also try to make sure you speak the country's language.

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You may want to alert your parents that you are still alive after you reach the age of 18, as you will still be an official missing person until you do so.

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Another place to hide money and documents is under the insoles of your shoes. When I travel, I always keep emergency cash and copies of my passport there.
Use the COVID-19 pandemic to your advantage. If you wear a facemask as well as a hoodie, you won't be as recognizable.

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Warnings

Exercise common sense. By running away, you can face the risk of getting caught, mugged, raped, kidnapped, or murdered. It is something you might regret for the rest of your life.

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The stats on runaways aren't good. In the US, around 30% try to commit suicide. 63% have been or are depressed, and the vast majority experience problems at school (if they go) or with drugs or alcohol (or both). Half of the females on the street get pregnant. Therefore, running away is only encouraged if it is your very last resort.

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Never run away if you got in a fight with someone. Talk with them instead or call a crisis phone line for help.

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