What Is Sexual Hugging?

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Find out what differentiates sexual hugging from normal hugging, as well as the benefits of sexual hugging

Co-authored by LeTisha Underwood and Dev Murphy, MA

Last Updated: April 3, 2024 Fact Checked

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• Definition
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• Sexual Hugging vs. Normal Hugging
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• Benefits
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• Types of Sexual Hugging
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• How to Incorporate Sexual Hugging in Your Relationship
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• Expert Interview

|Show more |Show less

There are all kinds of hugs for all kinds of relationships and contexts, but what makes a hug sexual in nature? There are a few key differences between a sexual hug and a non-sexual one, but generally, a sexual hug is more intimate than a non-sexual hug. For a more thorough exploration into sexual hugging, we talked to certified professional matchmaker LeTisha Underwood about what constitutes a sexual hug, the benefits of sexual hugging, and how to incorporate this practice into your relationship. Keep reading for the details!

Sexual Hugging Key Points

• Sexual hugging is typically characterized by physical contact between the upper and lower bodies. Sexual hugging fosters intimacy and trust between partners.
• In contrast, a non-sexual hug usually only involves contact with the upper bodies and often doesn’t last as long as a sexual hug.
• There are many benefits of sexual hugging, including alleviating stress, elevating calm and happiness, and improving sleep.

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Section 1 of 5:

What is sexual hugging?

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1. A sexual hug is a hug that is more physically intimate than a normal hug. Sexual hugging is typically characterized by physical contact between the upper and lower bodies, in contrast to a non-sexual hug, which usually only involves contact with the upper bodies.

   • Sexual hugs may be romantic in nature as well as sexual, or they may be purely sexual.
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Section 2 of 5:

What’s the difference between a sexual hug and a normal hug?

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1. 1
   A sexual hug is often longer than a normal hug. The length of a hug can foster more intimacy and is usually reserved for people who are very close—often romantic and/or sexual partners.
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   A sexual hug may be more physically intimate. In a sexual hug, you might rub the other person’s back or rest your hands lower on their back or waist.

   • In contrast, in a non-sexual hug, hands and arms typically rest higher on the other person’s body and don’t rub or massage the other person.
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   A sexual hug may involve more intensity or physical pressure. Sexual hugs tend to be tight, close embraces. Applying more physical pressure during a hug is likely to convey more closeness.

   • Meanwhile, a nonsexual hug is more likely to be loose, casual, and involve less pressure.
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   A sexual hug likely involves more intimate body language. A sexual embrace might be accompanied by intense eye contact, lip-biting, smelling one another—any sort of body language that indicates the hug is more than platonic.
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   A sexual hug is more likely to occur in a romantic or sexual context. The environment and nature of the relationship often have a bearing on whether a hug is sexual or not.

   • A sexual hug is more likely to occur in a romantic or sexual relationship. It is also more likely to happen in a private space where participants are freer to be intimate.
   • You might embrace your partner in a sexual hug while watching a movie together or settling into bed for the night. You may also use a sexual hug as a segue to actual sex.
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Section 3 of 5:

Benefits of Sexual Hugging

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1. 1
   Sexual hugging can boost your mental and emotional health. Hugging releases hormones and neurochemicals such as oxytocin that boost feelings of pleasure, calm, and happiness.

   • Sexual hugging can also decrease cortisol levels, the chemical associated with anxiety and stress. It can also improve sleep quality.
   • It can also boost your immune system, thereby benefiting your physical health as well as mental and emotional health.
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   Sexual hugging can foster intimacy. Hugging your partner doesn’t just bring you physically closer; it can also enhance your emotional connection.

   • Hugging can improve communication and trust between partners, which may also improve feelings of support, safety, and affection.
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Section 4 of 5:

Different Types of Sexual Hugging

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1. 1
   Front-facing embrace This is a typical hug, involving 2 participants facing one another and embracing. You can increase intimacy by holding the other person more tightly and closer to you.

   • To convey affection and foster intimacy, “[wrap] both arms around [their] neck with one palm resting ever so gently at the nape of [their] neck,” professional matchmaker LeTisha Underwood says. “Make it last longer than a second.”
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   Hugging from behind In this type of hug, one person embraces the other from behind. They may wrap their arms around the other person or hold their body close.
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   Spooning Spooning is a hug from behind performed while lying down, often in bed. When spooning, one person (the “big spoon”) holds the other person (the “little spoon”) from behind as they both lie down.

   • Spooning is a great type of hug to incorporate into sexual foreplay, but it's also a cozy way to fall asleep or just relax with your partner.
   • Spooning is common among couples, but know that you and your partner aren’t limited to being either the big spoon or little spoon—feel free to mix it up sometimes!
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   Bear hug A bear hug involves one person embracing the other in a large hug in which their body is typically pressed against the other person’s. A bear hug conveys strength, protection, warmth, and support.

   • “Don’t forget to look into [their] eyes while smiling,” Underwood advises. Eye contact and smiling convey interest and help you feel more connected to one another.
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Section 5 of 5:

How to Incorporate Sexual Hugging in Your Relationship

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1. 1
   Discuss the subject with your partner. Communicate your expectations with your partner before incorporating sexual hugging into your relationship to make sure you’re both on the same page.

   • Whether you’re hugging your partner or someone else, consent is always necessary. It’s important you know what your and your partner’s expectations and boundaries are before implementing sexual hugging.
   • For instance, they may enjoy spooning but find bear hugs claustrophobic, or perhaps they’re uncomfortable with unexpected physical contact and will need you to ask permission before initiating a hug.
   • You might say, “Hey Abdullah? I was thinking, if you’re comfortable with it, maybe we could try incorporating more sexual hugging into our relationship. How would you feel about that?”
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   Establish a safe and comfortable environment. Any type of hugging, but especially sexual hugging, is best done in a place and context in which you and your partner are both comfortable and feel safe.

   • Often, this may be in your own home—especially the bedroom, if you intend for the sexual hugging to lead to sex.
   • Consider how the environment contributes (or not) to the activity of sexual hugging: would pillows and blankets make things more comfy? Maybe candles or music would set a romantic mood.
   • Be sure nobody is going to come over unexpectedly or call you. Consider turning off your phones for uninterrupted cuddling or sexual activity.
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