This article was co-authored by Chloe Carmichael, PhD and by wikiHow staff writer, Glenn Carreau. Chloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
There are 16 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Although the world is more connected than ever these days, it’s actually easier to feel lonely. That's where we come in. From understanding your feelings to reconnecting with loved ones, we've created a comprehensive list the best ways to stop feeling lonely, with expert input from clinical psychologists Dr. Donna Novak, Psy.D, and Dr. Chloe Carmichael, Ph.D.
Steps
Expert Q&A
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QuestionI moved somewhere new and now I'm lonely. What should I do?Donna Novak, Psy.DDr. Donna Novak is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist based in Simi Valley, California. With over ten years of experience, Dr. Novak specializes in treating anxiety and relationship and sex concerns. She holds a BA in Psychology from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) and a doctoral degree (Psy.D) in Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University-Los Angeles. Dr. Novak uses a differentiation model in treatment that focuses on personal growth by increasing self-awareness, personal motivation, and confidence.
Licensed Clinical PsychologistMake sure you're finding time to connect with people from back home. At the same time, come up with plans to meet and connect with people. That can involve looking into some groups in the area, like Meetups. I would also recommend having a really good self-care plan. It's important that you do things you enjoy every day. Keep up with any hobbies you enjoyed before you moved. Don't let those go. Things like exercise and meditation can be great. Remember that this feeling is temporary. You'll eventually meet people, connect, and move forward. -
QuestionHow does exercise make you feel better?Chloe Carmichael, PhDChloe Carmichael, PhD is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist who runs a private practice in New York City. With over 12 years of psychological consulting experience, Dr. Chloe specializes in relationship issues, stress management, self-esteem, and career coaching. She has also instructed undergraduate courses at Long Island University and has served as adjunct faculty at the City University of New York. Dr. Chloe completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology at Long Island University in Brooklyn, New York, and her clinical training at Lenox Hill Hospital and Kings County Hospital. She is accredited by the American Psychological Association and is the author of “Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety” and “Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.”
Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author of Nervous EnergyIf you are lonely or even depressed, your dopamine levels and other neurotransmitters can start to get low. Trying to set little bars of physical things you can do can help raise those.
Reader Videos
Tips
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We are connected to more than just people. Sometimes, we feel lonely because we’ve been cut off from our other connections—the land we were raised on, our histories, what we strive for, what we’re committed to. When you explore these parts of yourself you start to reach people through a web of interconnected existence, and the communities you already belong to will be revealed.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
- While people find different ways to cope with loneliness, try your best to stay away from alcohol and drugs. They may make you feel better in the short term, but it’s easy to form a dependency that makes your situation worse.
- Being grateful for even the smallest things in your life can help you feel less lonely. As you uncover more of the beauty around you, you’ll dive into life in a more fulfilling way.
- Take a shower, smile while you’re doing it, put on your favorite clothes, and take a 30 minute walk or drive.
- Reach out to your friends when you’re thinking about them. Keep it positive, though.
- If you’re religious, prayer can remind you that you’re never truly alone.
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about relationships, check out our in-depth interview with Chloe Carmichael, PhD.
References
- ↑ http://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/enhance-your-wellbeing/environment/nature-and-us/how-does-nature-impact-our-wellbeing
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/11_things_to_do_when_you_feel_lonely
- ↑ Donna Novak, Psy.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 8 December 2020.
- ↑ Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 19 July 2019.
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/11_things_to_do_when_you_feel_lonely
- ↑ Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 19 July 2019.
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/feeling-lonely/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201902/feeling-lonely-discover-18-ways-overcome-loneliness
- ↑ http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/volunteering-may-be-good-for-body-and-mind-201306266428
- ↑ http://www.the-scientist.com/?articles.view/articleNo/38279/title/Origin-of-Domestic-Dogs/
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2020/04/how-to-be-alone-without-being-lonely
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201902/feeling-lonely-discover-18-ways-overcome-loneliness
- ↑ https://www.utdallas.edu/counseling/loneliness/
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8528311/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201902/feeling-lonely-discover-18-ways-overcome-loneliness
- ↑ Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 19 July 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201902/feeling-lonely-discover-18-ways-overcome-loneliness
- ↑ https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00981389.2018.1564108
- ↑ http://www.academia.edu/1097848/Stress_and_Coping_Activity_Reframing_Negative_Thoughts
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31043126/
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/11_things_to_do_when_you_feel_lonely
- ↑ https://health.clevelandclinic.org/introvert-vs-extrovert
- ↑ Donna Novak, Psy.D. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 8 December 2020.
- ↑ https://news.gallup.com/opinion/gallup/512618/almost-quarter-world-feels-lonely.aspx
- ↑ Chloe Carmichael, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 19 July 2019.
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/11_things_to_do_when_you_feel_lonely
About This Article
Everyone feels lonely sometimes, but there are many things you can do to make yourself feel better, such as staying busy with hobbies. Consider reading a book or starting a DIY project, which should distract you from your negative feelings. It's natural to feel lonely when you're stuck in the same place for too long, so try taking a walk or going to a coffee shop for a change of scenery. You might also consider volunteering at a charity, since doing things for other people often makes us feel less lonely. If you want regular company around the house, look into getting a pet, like a dog or cat, which will keep you busy and give you affection. For more tips from our co-author, including how to think positively about feelings of loneliness, read on!
Reader Success Stories
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"This page has helped me understand my feelings more on more than one occasion. I'm more calm now knowing that I'm not alone. I was really impressed when you pointed out that we should not think in terms of color. Since I'm a dark skinned man, I always assumed that part of the reasons I'm lonely is my skin color. "..." more