This article was reviewed by Tami Claytor. Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.
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Showing good manners and class at a restaurant starts with how you deal with the wait staff. This varies from place to place, but the rule of thumb is to do it as discreetly as possible.
Steps
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Raise your hand, but don't wave. Most waiters are very busy but will get to you eventually. Be patient if the restaurant is packed. The waiter might have many tables to help besides yours.
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Talk to your waiter with respect. Control your tone and attitude, a bossy or condescending way of speaking is not needed. Never yell or snap your fingers to get attention.Advertisement
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Make eye contact with the waiter.
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Try to always remain polite. If your waiter is ignoring you, be patient, he or she may be busy and stressed out with too much work.
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Remember that if the food does not taste good that the waiter is not responsible; if the food is cool, then it would be uncommon that the waiting staff is at fault, but it could happen.
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Avoid behaviors that will make your waiter want to pull out his or her hair and give you slow service.
- Changing your mind over dishes after they have been ordered
- Telling your waiter it is time to order than make them stand there for 10 minutes because you really have not decided what you want.
- Drinking too much alcohol
- Harassing other wait staff/customers
- Asking them out on a date
- Talking about your waiter even if they are standing right there.
- Ask for separate checks after the waiter bring you the bill or order dessert after the waiter brings the bill
- Asking the waiter to come back over and over again to take your order.
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Grabbing any waiter by the elbow to get service is a big no no. Don't ever touch your waiter!
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Practice good manners when the waiter does arrive at your table and you are with a large party, do not ignore them. It is very rude.
Community Q&A
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QuestionDo I say "Can I have" or "I will have" when ordering a meal at a restaurant?Community Answer"I will have" is proper and more common. However, both are acceptable and will be understood by the waitstaff.
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QuestionHow do I tell a waiter what I want in a polite way?Community AnswerSay, "Could I have? And then state your order. The waiter will like how kind you are and maybe even give you faster service!
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QuestionHow do I call over a waiter in a restaurant in France?Project ConceptCommunity AnswerYou can raise your hand with a smile and you'll be served correctly. If you want to order something, you just have to call the waiter/tress by saying: "Excusez-moi" or saying : "Monsieur" for the waiter or "Mademoiselle" if it's a young waitress or "Madame" if it's an older waitress.
Tips
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Teach your children to never snap their fingers or scream out to a waiter too. It is not cute.Thanks
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Be clear if you have a special order and make sure that your waiter understands. If you want your steak well done, make sure to specify it in your order. Waiters can not mind read or know how you like it.Thanks
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If you have horrendous service, complain to the restaurant manager, not to the waiter. It is more effective.Thanks
Warnings
- Never call out "Garçon" or "Niño" (they both mean 'kid or boy in French and Spanish respectively, or the female equivalents either). Again it is not cute nor funny. Save your jokes for someone who is not very busy.Thanks
- Don't send out family members to look for the waiter especially children. It is dangerous in a busy restaurant.Thanks
- Never scream out or stand up at your table looking for a waiter. It is rude! Don't ask your waiters name just so you can shout it out across the room.Thanks
- Don't make up cute nicknames for the wait staff. They don't like it.Thanks
About This Article
Reader Success Stories
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"I work in a restaurant, and people do all of these all the time."