How to Use a Napkin with Proper Table Etiquette

Co-authored by Tami Claytor and Amber Crain

Last Updated: December 23, 2024 Fact Checked

Proper table manners will help you make a great impression, but what are the rules for napkins? Don't worry—we've got you covered! In our comprehensive guide to napkin etiquette, we'll walk you through everything you need to know, whether you're at a nice restaurant or a formal dinner party. If you're ready to elevate your table manners and impress your dinner mates, read on.

1

Pick up the napkin when you sit down.

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At a dinner party, pick up your napkin only after your host does. If you’re at a restaurant and there’s no formal host, pick up the napkin as soon as you're seated at the table and discreetly unfold it. In a dinner party scenario, it’s respectful to follow the host’s lead.^{[1]
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- Gently unfold the napkin instead of shaking it open with a flourish.
- The napkin will be next to your place setting or on your plate.

2

Remove the napkin ring.

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Napkin rings are more common in informal settings. Simply slide the ring toward you to slip the napkin out of the ring. Then, put the ring on the table next to the left of your plate.^{[2]
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3

Drape the napkin neatly across your lap.

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Cover your lap with the napkin without draping it over your knees. If the napkin is much larger than your lap, fold it in half first. Then, place it in your lap with the folded side facing your body.^{[3]
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- The napkin is there to protect your lap from spills, but don't use it to dust off crumbs or soak up spills on the table or floor.

4

Leave the napkin in your lap during the meal.

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The napkin stays in your lap as long as you’re seated at the table. When your meal comes, don't tuck the napkin into your collar like a bib.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach

Expert Interview. 16 February 2022.} Only pick it up if you need to dab your mouth or excuse yourself from the table.^{[5]
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- Avoid holding the napkin or gesturing with it as you’re eating.

5

Blot your mouth discreetly with the napkin.

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Use the top half of the napkin to dab at the corners of your mouth.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach

Expert Interview. 16 February 2022.} Using the top half (the edge closest to your knees) prevents the soiled part from touching your clothes when you put the napkin back in your lap. Never wipe across your mouth with the napkin since that’s considered impolite.^{[7]
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- Blot your mouth before taking a sip of your drink, as well.
- Never spit food into your napkin, especially at a formal dinner.

6

Put the napkin to the left of your plate if you get up.

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Excuse yourself if you need to go to the restroom or leave the table. In formal settings, try your best not to leave the table during dinner. Always say, “Excuse me for a moment,” before leaving the table. Avoid saying that you're going to the restroom.^{[8]
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- Some restaurants prefer that you put your napkin in the seat of your chair when you’re away from the table.^{[9]
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  Tami Claytor
  Etiquette Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 16 February 2022.} When in doubt, keep an eye on other diners or your host to see what they do.^{[10]
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  Research source}

7

Leave the table if you need to blow your nose.

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Never wipe your face or blow your nose into your dinner napkin. If you need to blow your nose, excuse yourself and do so in the restroom. Avoid cleaning your cutlery with the napkin, as well. If your utensils look dirty, politely ask for another set.^{[11]
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8

Place the napkin to the left of your plate when you’re done.

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Fold the napkin loosely before placing it on the table. When you’re at a restaurant, this is how your server will know you've finished your meal. In a dinner party scenario, leave your napkin in your lap and follow the host’s lead.^{[12]
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- Lay your knife and fork side by side, diagonally, on your plate to indicate that you're finished with the meal.^{[13]
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Question

If your table setting is usually on the left why put the napkin to the right of the plate?

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This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

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The napkin is always placed to the left of your place setting (not the right). You should also put the napkin to the left of your place setting if you get up from the table and when you're finished eating.

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Should I place the napkin to the left of the fork with the fold toward the plate or to the right with corners to the bottom right?

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This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

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In a proper place setting, the napkin is always placed to the left of the fork with the fold facing toward the plate.

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Question

Where should I place my paper napkin when I'm finished with my meal?

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This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

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Paper napkins are extremely uncommon in formal settings. If you're dining informally and using a paper napkin, there are no hard and fast rules about what to do when you're finished. Just put it on the table on the left side of your plate, leave it on your plate, or get up and throw it away.

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