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We know how hard it is when you end a relationship. Breakups are tough on both people, no matter who ended things, so it’s perfectly normal to feel sad losing someone you care about. Even if the breakup felt like the end of the world, you can still use it as an opportunity for you to learn and grow.

Here are 15 tips to help you survive a bad breakup and come out the other side a stronger, happier person.

1

Cut off contact with your ex.

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  1. Even though it might feel really tempting to reach out and ask how they’re doing, you’re better off avoiding them. For the time being, delete or block their number so you aren’t tempted to reach out to them. Stay off of their social media pages as well since seeing pictures or posts could bring up sad memories. If you get tempted to talk to them, write out the message in the notes app on your phone instead of sending your ex a text.[1]
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2

Let yourself grieve.

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  1. Although your friends may tell you it’s time to move on, you need to give yourself time to get over the past relationship. Take your time to process your feelings, cry, and feel upset. Just let all of your emotions out however you need to. If you give yourself a full day to grieve, you'll be surprised at how much easier it will be to move on a week later.[2]
    • Research shows that people who suppress their emotions take a longer amount of time to recover after a loss.[3]
    • Reader Poll: We asked 554 wikiHow readers who’ve been through a breakup, and 74% of them agreed the best way to move on is by giving yourself time to grieve. [Take Poll]
4

Do something calming every day.

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5

Spend time with other people.

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  1. If you're feeling down, the last thing you want is to be alone. Hang out with your closest friends or your family members to keep you preoccupied. Plan a fun activity to keep you distracted, but don’t be afraid to open up and talk about how you’re feeling about the breakup since they can help you through it.[6]
    • You can always ask your friends for advice, but you may hear different answers from them. Remember you’re the only one who really knows what you need to do in that moment.[7]
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6

Reorganize your space.

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  1. Since you probably have memories of your ex in your home or room, try moving some things around. Rearrange your furniture, update your old decorations, or even consider giving the room a fresh coat of paint. The difference in your space makes it a lot easier to spend time there without being reminded of the old times with your ex.[8]
    • Get rid of things that remind you of your ex so you don’t have to see them every day. If you can’t throw them away, put the items in a shoebox and ask a friend to keep them safe.[9]
7

Meditate to clear your head.

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9

Avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms.

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10

Try not to take the breakup personally.

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  1. Rejection and breakups are bound to happen if people aren’t right for one another, so it’s nothing that you should feel bad about. You and your ex can both be great people, but you might just not belong together. Rather than blame the breakup on a personal “flaw,” it may have been from different expectations or long-term goals. Look at things from your ex’s perspective so you get a better understanding of their decision.[13]
    • For example, if you broke up because you wanted to move out of the city in the future when your ex wanted to stay, your decision didn’t cause the breakup. You two just have different life plans.
    • Remember you can’t control how your ex thinks or acts, and their reactions aren't your fault.
11

Reflect on the positive impacts.

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  1. Think about the good things that came out of your relationship and what your ex helped you learn. Write down all of the things you can think of so you can see how your relationship made you improve as a person. Seeing all the positive ways you’ve been affected helps you maintain a positive attitude about the relationship.[14]
    • Some studies have shown that writing the positive aspects of the relationship can make you more confident, empowered, and optimistic.
    • You can even focus on the positive aspects of being single, such as having more individual freedom, not dealing with expectations or criticism, and spending time with friends and family you missed.[15]
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13

Forgive your ex so you can move on.

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  1. Even if your ex hurt you and you’re angry, you can still forgive them so you’re able to move on. Holding a grudge or holding onto the pain only makes you more angry and resentful. Remember that people usually don’t intentionally try to hurt other people, so try viewing it from their perspective so you can understand why they made the decision to break up.[17]
    • Rather than thinking of the person’s bad qualities, try to remember them for their positive attributes that drew you to them in the first place.
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15

Wait until you’re over your ex to date again.

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  1. Rather than trying to go out on dates and find a new partner, wait until you’ve fully processed your last relationship. Take some time to focus on yourself and avoid the dating scene. That includes dating apps like Tinder and Hinge as well! It takes everyone a different length of time to process a relationship, but it’s okay to move on when you think you’re completely over your ex.[19]
    • If you’re dating to distract yourself from the pain, you’re not ready for a new relationship yet. If the root of any of your actions comes from a negative state, like anger, fear, or anxiety, it’ll usually end negatively as well.[20]
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Overcome Heartbreak with this Expert Series

Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    What is the best thing about being single?
    Amy Chan
    Amy Chan
    Relationship Coach
    Amy Chan is a Relationship Coach based in New York, New York. She is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing after the end of a relationship. She has over 12 years of experience helping clients work on their relationships with strategies rooted in the psychology and science of relationships and personal development. Her team of psychologists and coaches at Renew Breakup Bootcamp has helped hundreds of individuals, and the Bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book based on her work, Breakup Bootcamp, was published in 2020 and was featured by the New York Times.
    Amy Chan
    Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    There's a freedom of being single—of being able to do what you want, when you want, where you want, without having to worry about someone else. That is liberating and exciting. You can date different people and test out what you like and don't like. Then, you can get really conscious of the type of partner that will be a good fit for you next time around.
  • Question
    How do I know if I'm ready to start dating again?
    Amy Chan
    Amy Chan
    Relationship Coach
    Amy Chan is a Relationship Coach based in New York, New York. She is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing after the end of a relationship. She has over 12 years of experience helping clients work on their relationships with strategies rooted in the psychology and science of relationships and personal development. Her team of psychologists and coaches at Renew Breakup Bootcamp has helped hundreds of individuals, and the Bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book based on her work, Breakup Bootcamp, was published in 2020 and was featured by the New York Times.
    Amy Chan
    Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    You know you're ready to start dating when you're ready to practice opening your heart and connecting again. When you date with the intention of creating connection, of practicing your ability to be present and curious, then you are ready.
  • Question
    How can I recover from the shock of a breakup?
    Amy Chan
    Amy Chan
    Relationship Coach
    Amy Chan is a Relationship Coach based in New York, New York. She is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing after the end of a relationship. She has over 12 years of experience helping clients work on their relationships with strategies rooted in the psychology and science of relationships and personal development. Her team of psychologists and coaches at Renew Breakup Bootcamp has helped hundreds of individuals, and the Bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book based on her work, Breakup Bootcamp, was published in 2020 and was featured by the New York Times.
    Amy Chan
    Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    Try creating morning and evening rituals for yourself. Each morning, set aside time for yourself so you can get grounded and start your day feeling inspired. You might meditate, or write down an intention or goal for the day in your journal. In the evening, take time to practice gratitude by writing 3 things you're thankful for and why.
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Tips

  • Everyone takes a different amount of time to process a breakup, so it’s okay if you’re still feeling sad or upset a while after it happens.[21]
  • If you still don’t feel better after a breakup, find a counselor or therapist to talk to.[22]
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About This Article

Amy Chan
Co-authored by:
Relationship Coach
This article was co-authored by Amy Chan and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising. Amy Chan is a Relationship Coach based in New York, New York. She is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing after the end of a relationship. She has over 12 years of experience helping clients work on their relationships with strategies rooted in the psychology and science of relationships and personal development. Her team of psychologists and coaches at Renew Breakup Bootcamp has helped hundreds of individuals, and the Bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book based on her work, Breakup Bootcamp, was published in 2020 and was featured by the New York Times. This article has been viewed 165,887 times.
5 votes - 76%
Co-authors: 23
Updated: February 16, 2024
Views: 165,887
Categories: Breaking Up
Article SummaryX

Getting through a bad breakup can be incredibly tough. Give yourself some time to feel sad, angry, frustrated, or numb. All these emotions are totally normal. Resist the temptation to contact your ex or check up on them over social media. You might even need to block them for a while. It’s important to care for yourself after a breakup, so get into a calming, healthy routine. Get plenty of sleep, eat healthy meals, and do things you enjoy. Spend time with supportive friends and family as much as you can. Making a change can help you feel renewed, so try reorganizing your space or picking up a new hobby.

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