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Whether you met a girl online, on a dating app, or in person, sending her a text can take things to the next level. Starting out on the right foot can make or break your relationship, so it’s important to really think about what you want to say before you send it. We'll give you helpful tips and examples for your first text message to a girl you like and help you keep a fun, lively conversation going!

1

Reintroduce yourself.

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  1. If you met on a dating app or in person, just send her a quick text with your name included. Keep it short and sweet, and don’t send anything too long in your first message. Try something like:[1]
    • “Hey it’s James from Tinder!”
    • “Hey! It’s Marissa from the party last night.”
    • “How’s it going? This is Sam, we met the other day.”
    • “What’s up? It’s Candice, Jamie’s friend.”
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3

Keep your messages short.

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5

Give her a compliment.

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6

Talk about your common interests.

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  1. Whatever it is, you can ask her about it to keep a fun conversation going. Plus, you’ll get to know a little bit about her in the process! If you aren’t sure what you guys have in common yet, try looking her up on social media to get an idea of what she likes to do. Say something like:[5]
    • “Have you been watching the new season of Riverdale? I’m almost caught up!”
    • “How long have you been surfing? I’ve been going since I was a little kid!”
    • “Whoa, you like to rollerblade too? I can never find anyone to go skating with me.”
9

Set up a date to meet her IRL.

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  1. If you like her, make your intentions known. Texting is fine, but hanging out IRL is the best way to get to know a girl. Ask her if she has time in her schedule to grab dinner or go get coffee. Don’t wait too long to ask her out, or she might think you aren’t interested. Say something like:[7]
    • “Hey, do you have any free time next week? I’d love to grab a coffee.”
    • “Do you have any plans tomorrow? Want to grab dinner?”
    • “I really enjoy talking to you. Would you ever want to continue this conversation in person?”
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do you save a dry conversation?
    Suzanna Mathews
    Suzanna Mathews
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Suzanna Mathews is a Dating and Relationship Coach and the Founder of The Date Maven. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in creating mindset tools, social strategies, and digital strategies that help her clients elevate dating and deepen connections. Suzanna holds a BA in Communications from Bethel College, North Newton, and an MA in Theater and Dramatic Arts from Wichita State University.
    Suzanna Mathews
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    Throw something random out! All you have to do is say is "hey, quick question" or "hey, random thought." This gives you permission to bring up just about anything.
  • Question
    What kind of questions should I ask to get a conversation going?
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach based in Norman Park, Australia. He founded his coaching business, Make Him Yours, in 2015. Mark specializes in helping women find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon upon its release.
    Mark Rosenfeld
    Dating & Relationship Coach
    Expert Answer
    I'm not fond of the questions approach if it's the first time you two have talked. It's just a little cliché and boring. I actually prefer statements. Say something about yourself or say something about them to provoke a question on their end. You want to be the pond, not the fishing pole here! That's how you cultivate some mystery and generate conversation.
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Tips

  • Texting a girl for the first time can be nerve wracking. If you feel anxious, try taking a few deep breaths to calm down before you hit send.
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About This Article

Mark Rosenfeld
Co-authored by:
Dating & Relationship Coach
This article was co-authored by Mark Rosenfeld and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Mark Rosenfeld is a Dating and Relationship Coach based in Norman Park, Australia. He founded his coaching business, Make Him Yours, in 2015. Mark specializes in helping women find, attract, and keep extraordinary relationships. He has been featured in Style Magazine, Thought Catalog, Elite Daily, News.com.au, and The Good Men Project. Mark’s dating videos have received over 60 million views, and his book “Make Him Yours – Beating the Odds of Modern Dating” was a best-seller on Amazon upon its release. This article has been viewed 963,438 times.
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Co-authors: 8
Updated: July 3, 2024
Views: 963,438
Categories: Featured Articles | Texting
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