This article was co-authored by Jessica Lanyadoo. Jessica Lanyadoo is an astrologer with over 20 years of consulting experience. She is the author of Astrology for Real Relationships: Understanding You, Me, and How We All Get Along and is the host of the popular astrology and advice show, Ghost of a Podcast. Lanyadoo co-hosted TLC’s digital astrology show Stargazing and writes weekly and monthly horoscopes that help you heal.
There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Scorpios are often misunderstood due to their secretive and intense nature. However, prove to a Scorpio that you are trustworthy and they will be a lifelong and loyal friend. Scorpios are often deeply serious about relationships, unfailingly loyal to the ones they love, and you will find no protector more fierce. They make great friends and terrible enemies, so learning how to treat a Scorpio is probably in your best interest.
Be loyal. Treat them with love, respect, and selflessness and they will be devoted to you. Scorpios are good friends. Give them 100 percent and they will return it with interest! Scorpios tend to have only a few very intense friendships because they need for their friends to bond with them on the deepest and most intimate level. Flimsy and ephemeral friendships are of no interest to a Scorpio. Once you've been part of their lives they will never forget you.
2
Do not anger a Scorpio. If you wrong a Scorpio, they may eventually forgive you, after making you suffer, but they will never forget. Betrayal will be answered with an unrivaled thirst for vengeance. There's a reason the symbol for this sign is the scorpion. The likelihood you’ll win in a fight with them is very low.
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3
Embrace the competitive streak of a Scorpio. Most Scorpios (not all) love to compete - and most of all, win. Scorpios love sports or games where they have an opponent to defeat. If Scorpios have a goal, they will always try to reach it.[1]XResearch source They never give up and usually succeed in whatever they do.
Find out their interests. Do some research on their favorite topics so you can engage them in satisfying conversation. Realize that Scorpios are driven by a hunger for hidden truth and mystery. Often this will mean they have an interest in the paranormal, the occult, conspiracy theories or unsolved mysteries.[2]XResearch source
2
Give a Scorpio your full attention. When a Scorpio watches you and locks eyes with yours, they are giving you their full attention. There is nothing else going on in their world at that moment and they are listening with their entire being. When you spend time with them they expect the same level of attention so don't spend too much time on your phone.
3
Be honest. Scorpios value anyone who isn't afraid of being themselves. Scorpios have an intense and mysterious gaze, presenting a calm exterior that masks deep sensitivity.[3]XResearch source They observe and analyze from a distance, gathering information to augment their powerful intuition. You may be able to deceive a Scorpio for a short time, but Scorpio people are adept at seeing into the heart of any matter.[4]XExpert SourceJessica Lanyadoo Astrologer & Psychic MediumExpert Interview. 12 November 2019. When a Scorpio senses your dishonesty, you may as well be dead to them.
4
Tell them your stories. Scorpios like to hear your stories instead of talking about themselves.Tell a Scorpio something about yourself and they will most likely remember it. In conversation, Scorpios are most fascinated by emotional truth, things that matter on the deepest levels. Scorpios love secrets.[5]XResearch source They despise small talk and shallow topics.
5
Avoid telling a Scorpio everything all at once or you will lose their interest. Scorpios are natural detectives. Their curious nature longs for a mystery to solve. Create an air of mystery around yourself by keeping some details about your life or your past to yourself.[6]XResearch source
6
Refrain from asking questions that are too personal. Scorpios can be complicated and secretive. Asking too many questions may make them suspicious of your motives. Scorpios show their hidden selves only to those they trust and still may never reveal their whole self to you.
7
Remain aware that Scorpios have a tendency to be quiet and withdrawn. It's not that they aren't interested in you. Scorpios tend to rely on their intuition and powers of observation rather than the unreliable testimony of others. If a Scorpio is willing to spend time with you then trust that they enjoy your company, even if they never say so.
8
Share things that you have in common with a Scorpio. Scorpios, like many other people, love to discuss shared interests. If you have the same taste in music or like the same television show, be sure to bring those topics up in conversation.
9
Do things to show them that you care about them. Scorpios are sensitive to the smallest gestures and will appreciate them even if they don't seem to show it. For example, let's say your Scorpio friend is standing next to a mutual friend. You can hug that person quickly, but when you hug the Scorpio, hold them and squeeze them with great warmth.
Give them sincere compliments to show your respect and affection. A scorpio will be able to tell that your words are heartfelt.
If you give them a gift, it doesn't need to be expensive but make sure it is special and meaningful.
Wear dark colors such as black, red, blue and purple to get the attention of a Scorpio. Scorpios are drawn to colors that are dark or powerful. Go with any of these colors that compliments your eyes to really stand out to a Scorpio.[7]XResearch source
2
Court a Scorpio until you have earned their trust. What Scorpios truly desire is a meaningful and loving relationship. They long to connect on the deepest emotional, spiritual, and physical levels. This means it can take a long time for a Scorpio to trust someone enough to fall in love. Scorpios are the most loyal people you will ever meet, so once you've earned their trust you'll have it for life.[8]XExpert SourceJessica Lanyadoo Astrologer & Psychic MediumExpert Interview. 12 November 2019.
3
Look for the light in their eyes. Making eye contact will tell you a lot about what a Scorpio is feeling even if they will not tell you. When a Scorpio loves you, it will shine in their eyes like a light.
4
Be honest at all times and don't play with their emotions if you want to win their heart. Scorpios have a desire to feel in control that won't tolerate emotional games. You may chase them away if they feel the situation is out of their control. Likewise, if you violate the trust of a Scorpio, you may have a difficult time getting it back.[9]XExpert SourceJessica Lanyadoo Astrologer & Psychic MediumExpert Interview. 12 November 2019.
5
Prepare yourself. Relationships with Scorpios can be complex and difficult to understand, just like the person. A Scorpio demands, and gives, everything. They can be extremely jealous. The manipulative and controlling sides of a Scorpio can also be the cause of many fights and arguments.[10]XResearch source
6
Respect their privacy. Do not gossip with friends about your relationship. Scorpios are very secretive and may see this as a violation of trust. It's a good idea to keep any personal information your Scorpio tells you to yourself, too. It's also a good idea to refrain from posting about your Scorpio partner on social media unless they are aware and agreeable.[11]XResearch source
7
Be ready for possible sexual discussions. Mature Scorpios are very much in tune with their sexuality, but they tend to prefer meaningful relationships over frequent conquests. They are not afraid to talk about sex and you can tell them anything without shocking them.
I went on a date with someone recently and they told me they were a Scorpio and idk if that's a red flag or not. I've heard that Scorpios are obs... Read More
When I was dating a Scorpio, getting him to open up to me was a chore. He always felt a little closed off when I'd ask him questions about himsel... Read More
Scorpio is an obsessive sign. They're looking for someone to obsess over and they're going to provide a series of tests to gauge your loyalty to... Read More
Learn How to Attract a Scorpio Man with this Expert Series
Scorpio men are private, mysterious, and occasionally intimidating. We've put together this expert series to help you understand Scorpio behavior and attract the Scorpio man of your dreams.
What does it mean if a Scorpio male is loyal to you?
Community Answer
He will remain loyal to you. Unless you fail to be loyal to him.
Question
Why do Scorpios keep everything secretive?
Community Answer
It is said that this is particularly strong character trait of Scorpios, a need to be private and to keep confidences. This can work in your favor if you tell such a person something secret and never want it divulged. Of course, it can be frustrating too, if they refuse to tell you something you really need to know, especially about themselves. Learn to manage it by making your boundaries clear as to when you will and won't accept secretive behavior; they'll respect you for being honest and clear.
Question
What if a Scorpio gets on your nerves what do you do?
Community Answer
Remember that your perspective may be colored by your own preferences and a need for this person to do things your way. If this person is getting on your nerves, examine your own attitude first before considering they need to change.
Scorpios are very deep, detailed, intense people and there is always more than meets the eye. They present a cool, detached, and unemotional air to the world, yet lying underneath is tremendous power, extreme strength, intense passion, a strong will and a persistent drive.
The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.
When an independent Scorpio reaches out needing support, they are communicating something important. Make your best effort to be present, whether in person or returning calls. They value reliability in hard times and remember favors.
Scorpios crave deep emotional connections in romantic relationships. Take time building trust before rushing physical intimacy. Once devoted, they remain loyal partners. Handle their heart carefully, as betrayal wounds them deeply.
Not every Scorpio fits the brooding stereotype. Some have bright, playful sides too. Take humor and sexually open conversation in stride, but don't assume all their remarks are serious. Lightness balances their intense nature.
Bring out their lighter side by planning uplifting activities together. Though Scorpios enjoy deep conversation, they need breaks from intensity. Shared laughter and joy will nurture your bond.
Remember that Scorpios are not angels; some harmless flirtation is part of their charm. Don't take offense or become excessively jealous. A little mystery sustains attraction for this sign.
If you hurt a Scorpio, apologize sincerely and change hurtful behaviors. They forgive over time but never forget. Earn back trust through consistent respect.
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This article was co-authored by Jessica Lanyadoo. Jessica Lanyadoo is an astrologer with over 20 years of consulting experience. She is the author of Astrology for Real Relationships: Understanding You, Me, and How We All Get Along and is the host of the popular astrology and advice show, Ghost of a Podcast. Lanyadoo co-hosted TLC’s digital astrology show Stargazing and writes weekly and monthly horoscopes that help you heal. This article has been viewed 1,710,456 times.
To treat a scorpio well, be honest and authentic. Scorpios like people who aren’t afraid to be themselves, even if they have unusual hobbies. Scorpios also prefer honesty, so be open with them about your thoughts and feelings. Try playing games with them, since scorpios are usually competitive. If you want to build a true friendship or relationship with a scorpio, you'll also need to show patience, since scorpios prefer to connect on a deep emotional level rather than rush into things. For tips on how to date a scorpio, read on!
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 1,710,456 times.
Reader Success Stories
Anonymous
Oct 23, 2016
"It was helpful to understand her more. But we've always known she's deep & passionate with a most loving heart. But now, as a Leo parent, I'm just trying to give our 11yr old daughter the skills and tools she needs to communicate to her friends."..." more
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Oct 23, 2016
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Mar 2, 2017
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"I am a true Scorpio, meaning not in October and nowhere near the beginning of Sagittarius. All I can say is, wow! This is me!"..." more
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Be loyal. Treat them with love, respect, and selflessness and they will be devoted to you. Scorpios are good friends. Give them 100 percent and they will return it with interest! Scorpios tend to have only a few very intense friendships because they need for their friends to bond with them on the deepest and most intimate level. Flimsy and ephemeral friendships are of no interest to a Scorpio. Once you've been part of their lives they will never forget you.
Do not anger a Scorpio. If you wrong a Scorpio, they may eventually forgive you, after making you suffer, but they will never forget. Betrayal will be answered with an unrivaled thirst for vengeance. There's a reason the symbol for this sign is the scorpion. The likelihood you’ll win in a fight with them is very low.Advertisement
Embrace the competitive streak of a Scorpio. Most Scorpios (not all) love to compete - and most of all, win. Scorpios love sports or games where they have an opponent to defeat. If Scorpios have a goal, they will always try to reach it.[1] They never give up and usually succeed in whatever they do.
Find out their interests. Do some research on their favorite topics so you can engage them in satisfying conversation. Realize that Scorpios are driven by a hunger for hidden truth and mystery. Often this will mean they have an interest in the paranormal, the occult, conspiracy theories or unsolved mysteries.[2]
Give a Scorpio your full attention. When a Scorpio watches you and locks eyes with yours, they are giving you their full attention. There is nothing else going on in their world at that moment and they are listening with their entire being. When you spend time with them they expect the same level of attention so don't spend too much time on your phone.
Be honest. Scorpios value anyone who isn't afraid of being themselves. Scorpios have an intense and mysterious gaze, presenting a calm exterior that masks deep sensitivity.[3] They observe and analyze from a distance, gathering information to augment their powerful intuition. You may be able to deceive a Scorpio for a short time, but Scorpio people are adept at seeing into the heart of any matter.[4] When a Scorpio senses your dishonesty, you may as well be dead to them.
Tell them your stories. Scorpios like to hear your stories instead of talking about themselves.Tell a Scorpio something about yourself and they will most likely remember it. In conversation, Scorpios are most fascinated by emotional truth, things that matter on the deepest levels. Scorpios love secrets.[5] They despise small talk and shallow topics.
Avoid telling a Scorpio everything all at once or you will lose their interest. Scorpios are natural detectives. Their curious nature longs for a mystery to solve. Create an air of mystery around yourself by keeping some details about your life or your past to yourself.[6]
Refrain from asking questions that are too personal. Scorpios can be complicated and secretive. Asking too many questions may make them suspicious of your motives. Scorpios show their hidden selves only to those they trust and still may never reveal their whole self to you.
Remain aware that Scorpios have a tendency to be quiet and withdrawn. It's not that they aren't interested in you. Scorpios tend to rely on their intuition and powers of observation rather than the unreliable testimony of others. If a Scorpio is willing to spend time with you then trust that they enjoy your company, even if they never say so.
Share things that you have in common with a Scorpio. Scorpios, like many other people, love to discuss shared interests. If you have the same taste in music or like the same television show, be sure to bring those topics up in conversation.
Do things to show them that you care about them. Scorpios are sensitive to the smallest gestures and will appreciate them even if they don't seem to show it. For example, let's say your Scorpio friend is standing next to a mutual friend. You can hug that person quickly, but when you hug the Scorpio, hold them and squeeze them with great warmth.
Wear dark colors such as black, red, blue and purple to get the attention of a Scorpio. Scorpios are drawn to colors that are dark or powerful. Go with any of these colors that compliments your eyes to really stand out to a Scorpio.[7]
Court a Scorpio until you have earned their trust. What Scorpios truly desire is a meaningful and loving relationship. They long to connect on the deepest emotional, spiritual, and physical levels. This means it can take a long time for a Scorpio to trust someone enough to fall in love. Scorpios are the most loyal people you will ever meet, so once you've earned their trust you'll have it for life.[8]
Look for the light in their eyes. Making eye contact will tell you a lot about what a Scorpio is feeling even if they will not tell you. When a Scorpio loves you, it will shine in their eyes like a light.
Be honest at all times and don't play with their emotions if you want to win their heart. Scorpios have a desire to feel in control that won't tolerate emotional games. You may chase them away if they feel the situation is out of their control. Likewise, if you violate the trust of a Scorpio, you may have a difficult time getting it back.[9]
Prepare yourself. Relationships with Scorpios can be complex and difficult to understand, just like the person. A Scorpio demands, and gives, everything. They can be extremely jealous. The manipulative and controlling sides of a Scorpio can also be the cause of many fights and arguments.[10]
Respect their privacy. Do not gossip with friends about your relationship. Scorpios are very secretive and may see this as a violation of trust. It's a good idea to keep any personal information your Scorpio tells you to yourself, too. It's also a good idea to refrain from posting about your Scorpio partner on social media unless they are aware and agreeable.[11]
Be ready for possible sexual discussions. Mature Scorpios are very much in tune with their sexuality, but they tend to prefer meaningful relationships over frequent conquests. They are not afraid to talk about sex and you can tell them anything without shocking them.
Community AnswerHe will remain loyal to you. Unless you fail to be loyal to him.
Community AnswerIt is said that this is particularly strong character trait of Scorpios, a need to be private and to keep confidences. This can work in your favor if you tell such a person something secret and never want it divulged. Of course, it can be frustrating too, if they refuse to tell you something you really need to know, especially about themselves. Learn to manage it by making your boundaries clear as to when you will and won't accept secretive behavior; they'll respect you for being honest and clear.
Community AnswerRemember that your perspective may be colored by your own preferences and a need for this person to do things your way. If this person is getting on your nerves, examine your own attitude first before considering they need to change.
"It was helpful to understand her more. But we've always known she's deep & passionate with a most loving heart. But now, as a Leo parent, I'm just trying to give our 11yr old daughter the skills and tools she needs to communicate to her friends."..." more
