How to Turn a Girl on With Words

Co-authored by Mark Rosenfeld

Last Updated: July 26, 2023 Fact Checked

All girls are different and are turned on by different things, so you will need to individualize the things you say to the girl you are saying them to; however, there are a few words of advice that can turn on almost any girl, provided that you're already dating. Make sure you have a good amount of time to talk to the girl, as a slow, sexy pace will achieve much better results than a rushed one.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Getting it Going

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1
Ask her a good question. Ask her something that will give her a chance to give a long answer, like "So tell me about what you did today," or "What exciting things do you have planned for the weekend?" This will get her talking and will show her that you care.
- Asking her a good question will show her that you're interested in what she has to say.^{[1]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Mark Rosenfeld
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 16 June 2021.} Girls want to be sexy and interesting; for her, a good conversation is a way to set the tone.
- If she answers with a short answer, pepper her with more questions, showing her you care and really want to know. You want to get her on a roll, talking about things she's interested about, all while you're doing a good job listening.
- Be funny and playful, if you can. Girls love people with a sense of humor, along with people who know how to have fun.^{[2]
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  Trustworthy Source
  
  HelpGuide
  Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
  
  Go to source} If you're making her laugh and keeping her on the tips of her toes, it'll be easier to turn her on. Look up and practice some jokes you think she might like, or start developing your own inside jokes with her that you can lean on when you know you need a laugh.
2
Keep complimenting her, when appropriate. If she asks you how your day was, let her know that you were thinking about her. Add a slight twist by complimenting her features. Don't make it too smutty though; something like "I couldn't stop thinking about you and your sexy smile" does the job.
- Keep the conversation going by asking questions about her and showing interest in her answers. The way that you start turning her on is by dropping plenty of little compliments. Make sure you think of little things to say just about her to make her feel special.
- Girls like it when you notice something about them that they also like. So if you know she likes the color of her eyes, compliment the color of her eyes ("I love the way your eyes shine when you smile"). If she likes her hair, say something like "Your hair looks so smooth and comfortable, do you know how pretty it makes you look?"^{[3]
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  Research source}
- Start making the compliments slightly more sexy.^{[4]
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  Research source} If she is saying things like "Stop!" or "You don't mean that" while giggling, keep giving her the sexy compliments. You're definitely on the right path.
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3
Start describing the not-too-scandalous things you want to do to her. Make sure that the things you are saying are sexy and romantic, not dirty and gross. Start with some ambiguous innuendos so you don’t come on too strong.^{[5]
X
Expert Source

Mark Rosenfeld
Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview. 16 June 2021.} You need to build up anticipation first.
- You will need to come up with your own suggestions, but an example might be: "If we were together, I'd run my fingers slowly through your hair while we kissed. I'd massage your back while I kissed your neck. I would lie next to you and trace my fingers over the soft curves of your beautiful body." etc. Be creative. Using lots of imagery and imaginative words can also help.
- Here are some other compliments that you can use: "I thought about you when I woke up today. Just like I thought about you when I went to sleep last night. You know what I was thinking about? I was thinking about us, together, curled up in bed. That makes me happy."
- Something else you might say: "You give me goosebumps. Every time you touch me I go crazy inside, because I know it's only you who can do that to me. No one else does that. Even a smile from you is like a punch in the gut, but in a good way."
4
Try to use your words in person. When you are getting a girl turned on using words it's important that she can hear your voice. It can be done over text, but your words will have a much better effect if the girl you are talking to can hear the sexy tones in your voice.
- Try to use your deepest-sounding voice when you talk to your girl. Studies show that people with deep voices have more sexual partners and that girls are more attracted to people with deep voices.^{[6]
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  Research source} Now, that doesn't mean you should lower your voice if it sounds unnatural, because that won't turn your girl on. But if you're always in the higher pitched level of your voice, try to go down to the lower level when you're talking with your girl.
5
Set the mood. When you start talking to her, it's important to set the mood for the entire conversation by saying things like "I can't stop thinking about you," or "I've been wanting to hear your voice all day." This will help establish closeness, and let her know that you're feeling intimate. Make sure you’re alone and in a comfortable, sexy environment; you may not want to turn her on in public.
- Other things to say are: "I never knew it until I spent time away from you, but I missed you today," or "You look stunning, as usual." Keep it short and sweet; a very elaborate compliment might come off wrong or be misinterpreted by her.
- Don't compare her to other women. Even if what you're saying is that she's smarter, or prettier, or more fun to be around, avoid the comparison. She doesn't even want you to compare her to other women, because she doesn't want you to think about other women. She wants you to think about only her. If she thinks you may be thinking about other women, it's a turn-off for her.
- Have a fun, positive energy when you're flirting with someone since it will make you more approachable and easy to talk to.^{[7]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Mark Rosenfeld
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 16 June 2021.}
6
Make her feel special. In your own way, make her feel like the sexiest woman alive. Get her thinking sexy thoughts about you and it's guaranteed that she won’t stop thinking about you when the conversation is over. This is the most important thing when it comes to turning your girl on; you don’t want her to feel like a piece of meat.
- While you try to turn her on with your words, make sure you let her see that you wouldn’t talk to just any girl this way. Let her see how lucky you feel to be with her.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Turning Up the Heat

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1
Say that you want her. One of the most basic things you can say when you want to turn up the heat are these simple words: “I want you.” You can add other variations, but saying this makes the girl see how much you want to be physically close with her and may be enough to turn her on. Look her in the eyes and show that you’re not shy about saying what you want and need. Here are some other things you can say:
- “I want you so bad right now.”
- “I’ve been wanting you all day long.”
- “I’ve never wanted you so badly in my life.”
- “That dress you’re wearing makes me want you more than ever.”
2
Say something nice about her body. As you move forward, you can compliment your girl’s body in a less-PG way. As long as you’re sure she’s playing along and that she would welcome compliments about parts of her body other than her face, you can start to take it up a notch by complimenting the parts of her body that turn you on. Just make sure you’re not offending her and that your comments are welcome. Here are some things you can say:
- “Your chest looks amazing in that dress.”
- “Your legs are incredible.”
- “I love the way your hips are moving.”
3
Say what you want to do to her. Now that you’ve described what you want to do to your girl’s body, you can go a step further and tell her what you’d like to do to her body. You can be a bit more graphic if you want, but in general, just say enough to have her imagine you having your hands all over her body, which should be more than enough to turn her on. Here are some things you can say:
- “I want to run my hand down your thighs.”
- “I can’t wait to kiss the nape of your neck.”
- “I want to caress and kiss every part of your body.”
- "I want to run my hands through your hair while I kiss you."
4
Say what you want her to do to you. Now, as you continue to turn your girl on with your words, you can tell her what you wish she would do to you. This would paint a sexy image in her mind and will have her turned on in no time at all. Of course, make sure she has done many of these things before so you don’t surprise her or come off sounding too graphic or explicit. Here are some things you can say to her:
- “I want you to take my shirt off.”
- “I want you to kiss my chest and shoulders.”
- “I want you to get on top of me and start kissing my neck.”
5
Describe how she makes your body feel. If you want to turn your girl on, then you should have no shame about telling her how turned on you are just by the sight of her. She’ll be turned on just by the idea that being around her is making you turned on. Here are some ways you can tell her how she makes you feel:
- “I am so turned on just by being around you.”
- “You make me so excited.”
- “My whole body is tingling just from looking at you. You have no idea how good you make me feel.”
6
Reveal your fantasies. Another way to turn your girl on is to tell her some fantasies you have about being with her. They can be related to role-playing, can be about explicit things you’d like to do to her or would like her to do to you, or can be about a place where you’ve always wanted to hook up. Don’t be afraid to tell her what you’ve always dreamed about and see if you can make it come true together.
- Let her reveal her fantasies, too. This can turn both of you on even more.
7
Consider sending her a message later to keep her feeling sexy. Though turning your girl on with words is best done in person, you can leave her feeling sexy even after you’ve said your goodbyes by sending her a sexy text message later on in the day that shows her that you’re still thinking of her and her body. Keep it sweet and simple but also make sure there’s enough subtext to get her turned on and ready for your next encounter. Here are some things you can say:
- “I can’t stop thinking about what happened last night. I can’t wait to see you again.”
- “When I close my eyes, all I see is your gorgeous body.”
- “I had such an amazing time with you last night. I can’t wait to have you in my arms again.”

Join the Discussion...

Basic pointers how to dirty talk?

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WikiLemmingFlyer757

I (m33) have been with my gf (f34) for 2 years now. We both want to spice things up in the bedroom a little more with some dirty talk, but neithe... Read More

WikiAntelopeKeeper764

You'll get better and more comfortable as you go, I promise. :) A good "beginner-friendly" technique is asking her what she wants you to do to he... Read More

WikiGladeJumper104

Communication is key here! Different people like different things. Talk to your partner about if there are certain names or dynamics that especia... Read More

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Attract Girls and Win Their Hearts with this Expert Series

Attracting girls and turning them on doesn't have to be hard. Learn how with these expert articles, hand-picked from our dating coaches and relationship experts.

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Show a Girl You Like Her

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Be the Guy Every Girl Wants

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Tips

Don't make a pattern of this behavior. She will begin to notice that your flattery simply means you want sex, and it could ruin a relationship pretty easily.

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Let her feel like she is wanted, and she is interested in you. If you find her being quiet start asking her romantic questions while maybe holding her hand, but be creative. Remember, perverted things could ruin a relationship.

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Painful silences can be avoided by going slow and only increasing the heat when she is ready.

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Warnings

If at any point you've ruined the mood and the conversation is completely dead, end it. You can always try again another time.

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