This article was co-authored by John Keegan. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
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Whether there's a special girl you can't stop thinking about, or you're just single and open to meeting someone new, you might be wondering how you can be more attractive to the ladies. Well, you're in the right place! We've rounded up the best tips for making a good impression and showing a girl just how awesome you are, no crazy stunts required. Check out the tips below to learn how to present yourself in the best way possible and hopefully win the affection of a special girl.
Ways to Attract a Girl
- To attract a girl, be confident, approachable, and don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.
- Tell her funny jokes and smile at her. Actively listen to what she has to say.
- Try to find common interests to get to know her better and create a bond.
Steps
Being Awesome
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Build your self-esteem and confidence. Self-confidence and self-esteem are very attractive qualities. Girls will fall head over heels for a guy that is confident in himself and what he can do. Do things that build your confidence in yourself like volunteering, learning a new skill, or traveling.[1]
- You can build confidence by volunteering with an organization like Homes for Humanity. This will give you the chance to prove to yourself and everyone else that you can do something and make a difference.
- You can also boost your confidence by learning a new skill, like a second or third language. This can be done easily and for free online with sites like Livemocha.
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Don’t compare yourself to others. This is not going to make you feel any better about yourself. The only person you can ever be is you and that is great! Show the world how awesome you can be and stop trying to be somebody else’s brand of awesome.[2]
- Don’t try to act like anyone other than yourself either. Girls will notice you trying to hard and being all fake and they will not find that attractive. Acting like some gangsta thug when you grew up rich in the suburbs? Sorry, poser. She’ll notice. Just be you and be happy about being you. Girls will find that very attractive.
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Take care of yourself and your appearance. Don’t neglect personal hygiene or your wardrobe.[3] Why would a girl like you if you didn’t even like yourself enough to take care of your body? Wash your hair and body regularly, use deodorant, wear clothes that don’t have holes or stains, and brush your teeth.[4]
- Don't worry too much about wearing brand name clothes. She'll notice a lot more if your clothes fit you well and are in colors that make you look great, not what letter is written on the chest.
- Don't go overboard, of course. Some gel in your hair is probably good, but it shouldn't look wet and be rock hard, you know?
- For example, you might wear a nice-fitting T-shirt, well-fitting jeans, and an Apple watch or cool bracelet.[5]
- A lot of times, guys actually aren't used to wearing well-fitting clothes. With this in mind, try to wear clothes are a little bit tighter than what you think they should be.[6]
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Be approachable. Don’t seem angry, upset, douchey, or otherwise unpleasant to talk to. If you seem like you’re mad at her every time you talk to her, why would she want to talk to you, much less date you? Smile, be friendly, and try to make yourself easy to talk to by, you know, talking.
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Be an amazing person. Be someone that girls want to date. You don’t have to be smart but at least try to be knowledgeable and curious. Be a kind person that works hard to improve the lives of people around you. And do something with your life. That part is really important. Get out there and work to make a better life for yourself.
- You can become more knowledgeable by reading about things that interest you. Did you know they have entire books about the evolution of weapons like swords? Books about how they think dinosaurs killed their prey? Yeah, library time.
- Consider your dreams. What do you want for your life? What is your great passion? Showing that passion is really attractive to girls: they want to think that you'll love them as much as you love...baseball or whatever.
EXPERT TIPDating CoachJohn Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.John Keegan
Dating CoachTry to invest in yourself before looking for a partner. Notice qualities you admire in others and practice honing them in your own life. Establish independence and a strong sense of who you are. Be your authentic self; this will help you attract like-minded partners who have the same shared values.
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Be kind and funny. Try to help her and always smile at her. A smile can make her day much better. Don't try to act cool and don't always talk to your friends when she's around. Try to set some time alone with her and talk to her in a kind voice.
- Reader Poll: We asked 1955 wikiHow readers what’s most attractive about a person, and 56% said sense of humor and charm. [Take Poll]
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Keep up in school. You don't have to get perfect grades, but at least shoot for "A"s and "B"s. Get good grades, but don't become arrogant either. Offer to help her with assignments she is having trouble with or offer to help her study for a test. Don't take it personally if she says she doesn't want your help though.
- Staying organized is also very important. You don't want to look like a mess in class all of the time trying to find your homework in front of her. Most girls like organized boys that turn in their assignments on time.
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Join sports. This can not only attract many girls, especially cheerleaders and other girls that also play sports, but also boost your self-confidence. Girls like boys who are in shape and are athletic. Tryout for sports and get on a team with people that go to your school.
Making Her Happy
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Get to know her. Talk to her and listen to her. Ask her about her family and where she grew up, her religion and politics, and what she likes to do for fun. Don’t be critical or rude about her answers: they are hers, not yours! Respect her ideas, her opinions, and her beliefs. Girls like it when you treat them like people. If you want girls to find you attractive, respecting them as people is a great place to start.
- For example, ask her about her favorite hobby, and then ask her how she got into that hobby. This is a great way to work into talking about where and how she grew up, her family, etc.
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Find things you have in common. She likes Metallica….you like Metallica…..bam! You now have something to talk about! Ask her about the music she listens to, the movies she watches, and the things she does in her spare time. Find some common ground and you will have a great way to get to know each other and bond.[7]
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Be a good friend. If we guaranteed you wouldn’t get friend-zoned, we’d be lying. But being friends with a girl and showing her what a wonderful person you are is the best way to attract her. Show her how happy she’d be with you and then see how much happier you are with her.
- Be supportive when she is having a hard day, help take her mind off of her problems, be available when she needs help, and listen to her when she talks.
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Don’t be disrespectful. Don’t stare at her and then avoid eye contact. Don’t hover around her and then never actually manage to say anything. Don’t make unwanted physical advances. Things like this will upset her and definitely make you a lot less attractive.[8]
Expert Q&A
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QuestionDoes wearing good clothes make you attractive?John KeeganJohn Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
Dating CoachDefinitely! Wearing well-fitting clothes can really make a big difference, and look much more stylish than baggy garments. -
QuestionWhat should I wear to look stylish?John KeeganJohn Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
Dating CoachWearing at least 1 piece of nice jewelry! Jewelry can be really stylish, whether it's a necklace, bracelet, or something really simple. -
QuestionWhat are must-have clothes for men?John KeeganJohn Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
Dating CoachDefinitely invest in a nice pair of jeans—good jeans should last you many years, plus they'll fit great. Also, stock up on plenty of great-fitting T-shirts.
Video
Tips
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Compliment her looks and she will feel confident. Understand her mind and you will know how to interact with her.Thanks
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Girls like guys who understand them. So listening is very important.Thanks
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Know that "attracting" is just a part of a relationship.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201205/building-confidence-and-self-esteem
- ↑ https://zenhabits.net/lifes-enough-stop-comparing-yourself-to-others/
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 13 July 2021.
- ↑ https://www.everydayhealth.com/mens-health-pictures/essential-grooming-rules-for-guys.aspx
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 13 July 2021.
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 13 July 2021.
- ↑ https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-find-more-common-topics-to-talk-with-girls
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-ooze/201707/how-avoid-creeping-women-out
About This Article
Reader Success Stories
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"Helped me with the fact that I have to pay 100% attention to her when she is with me, that I have to talk always positive things to her to make her happier, and that I have to ask her things about her as a friend first in order to know her better, respectfully!"..." more