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All the ways “umm” can be used while texting (and how to respond)
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You text a friend a question, and they respond with “Ummmm.” Huh? What does that even mean? When texting or messaging, “ummmm” is often used to show doubt or uncertainty in response to something. This simple message can be a friendly way to say, “I’m not sure,” or a flirtatious way to capture your attention. So, which one is it? Keep reading to find out!

“Um” Meaning

“Um” or “ummmm” expresses hesitation, doubt, or uncertainty. It’s typically used in response to a question in person or via text to say, “I don’t really know.”

Section 1 of 5:

What does “ummmm” mean while texting?

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  1. More often than not, a text with “ummmm” is a sign that someone is thinking—similarly to how someone would say “um” or “hm” in real life. “Ummmm,” “ummm,” or “umm” means that they’ve seen your message and are thinking about the best way to respond.[1]
    • You: What do you want for dinner?
      Them: Ummmm, I don’t know. What are the choices?
    • You: Did you pass the test?
      Them: Ummm
  2. Someone may text “ummmm” or “umm” if they’re not sure how to respond to a question or message. They’re likely at a loss for words. This usage is typically paired with emojis like 😬 or 😳.
    • You: When is our English project due?
      Them: Ummmm 😬 Yesterday, bro.
    • You: Where did you put my favorite T-shirt?!
      Them: Ummmmmmmm 😳
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  3. “Um” is often a sign of uncertainty or hesitation.[2] Someone might use “um” or “ummmm” in a text message to say, “Yeah, I’m not really sure.”
    • “Umm, you’ll have to ask mom about that.”
    • “Um, I think we’re having pizza 🤷”
    • “Ummm I don’t actually know! I would check with David.”
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Section 3 of 5:

How do you know if a text is flirty?

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  1. Knowing if your crush is flirting with you via text doesn’t have to be as hard as it sounds! There are a few simple signs you can look out for:[3]
    • Compliments. If they send a text out of the blue saying you looked great today or had a stellar game, they could be flirting.
    • Emojis. A 😉, 😍, and 😘 are signs that they’re adding a flirtatious flare to their text—they’re smiling and winking IRL!
    • Questions. If someone’s into you, they’ll ask genuine questions, even over text! Asking about your favorite foods or day could be a sign they’re trying to engage in a conversation and learn more about you.
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Section 4 of 5:

How to Know What “Ummmm” Means

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  1. Who you’re texting can play a big part in what “ummmm” means. Are you texting a close friend, a crush, or a family member? A text from a friend or family member is likely friendly and platonic; meanwhile, an “ummmm” text from a crush could be flirtatious.
  2. Take a moment to consider what the conversation is about. Has someone asked a question? Are you getting a rundown of someone’s day? This could help indicate whether or not the text is thoughtful, doubtful, or speechless.
  3. When in doubt, send a follow-up text asking what they mean. This can be as simple as sending a single question mark or saying, “Haha, what?” This way, there’s no room for misinterpretation!
    • If you question what they mean, make sure to do so politely, especially when considering your relationship.
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How do I keep things moving when our chat is stalling?
    Jeremy Sharvit
    Jeremy Sharvit
    Dating App Developer
    Jeremy Sharvit is a Senior iOS Engineer and App Developer based in San Francisco, CA. Jeremy has over 5 years of experience and most recently launched the app TextWise AI, which helps users elevate their communication in a variety of settings, including dating apps. TextWise AI is compatible with any dating app, including Hinge, Bumble, and Tinder, and was built to provide assistance with crafting message responses and boosting user confidence in conversations.
    Jeremy Sharvit
    Dating App Developer
    Expert Answer
    What you could do here is to take the lead and shift the energy. Instead of waiting for the other person to steer things, try changing the topic or introducing something playful. It’s like planning a quick coffee date where you don’t want to overthink it but you just want to keep things flowing naturally. You can ask a light, open-ended question to spark new conversation, like, “What’s something random you’ve always wanted to learn?” or something like “Alright, serious question—if we had to plan a spontaneous trip right now, where are we going?” These kinds of questions show personality and give the other person something fun to respond to and keep your conversation going. But remember, if they just don't seem like they're interested, you could always move on to the next one.
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  • The number of ms in “um” doesn’t change the meaning; it just adds more or less emphasis to the word.
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About This Article

Jeremy Sharvit
Co-authored by:
Dating App Developer
This article was co-authored by Jeremy Sharvit and by wikiHow staff writer, Aly Rusciano. Jeremy Sharvit is a Senior iOS Engineer and App Developer based in San Francisco, CA. Jeremy has over 5 years of experience and most recently launched the app TextWise AI, which helps users elevate their communication in a variety of settings, including dating apps. TextWise AI is compatible with any dating app, including Hinge, Bumble, and Tinder, and was built to provide assistance with crafting message responses and boosting user confidence in conversations. This article has been viewed 12,375 times.
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Co-authors: 5
Updated: October 24, 2024
Views: 12,375
Categories: Texting
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