What Should You Do When a Girl Says She'll Text You Later? Learn When to Follow Up

Co-authored by John Keegan and Kira Jan

Last Updated: November 19, 2021 References

You’re having a fun conversation or exchanging those first nerve-wracking texts and she says, “Text you later!” What does she mean? Should you actually wait for her to respond or should you follow up?

It can be totally frustrating and anxiety-inducing when she goes radio silent and doesn't text back, but with a little strategy, you can keep her interested while staying calm and confident. We’ll break down exactly what you need to do–and what she really means–when a girl says she’ll text you later.

1

Read “I’ll text you later” as “I’m busy.”

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Know that she’s probably just busy or distracted. That’s all. Don’t overthink it. Don’t start analyzing the last messages you sent. We’re all swamped these days with messages, notifications, and alerts, and it can be overwhelming. She might just need a tech break for a while.^{[1]
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Research source} Here are some common reasons she might not want to text right now:^{[2]
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- She might be busy with work, school, family, and friends.
- She might be out of cell reception.
- She might not want to spend her day glued to her phone.
- She might feel pressure to come up with “perfect” replies.^{[3]
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2

Wait 1-2 days before texting again.

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We know this is a tough one, but when you give her time and space, you prove two things. First, you show her you’re not desperate. Second, you demonstrate you can give her what she asks for and respect what she wants. If she wants a little time before replying, give it to her!^{[4]
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3

Go do other things.

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Distract yourself and enjoy your life. Nothing feels worse than sitting around waiting for the girl you like to text back. But guess what? You’ve got plenty of other options for things to do! Once you realize that you’ve got an interesting, fun life, she’ll be able to sense that confidence and independence when you two talk.^{[5]
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Research source} Here are a few activities to get your mind off her:
- Check out a new coffee shop or restaurant.
- Text one of your friends.
- Get in a short workout.
- Go do something for other people. Help out a neighbor, family member, or charity.

4

Send another message if you need scheduling info.

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If you’re setting up a date, you don’t need to wait 24 hours. Give her a couple hours of space if you can, but when you need a response fast for scheduling purposes, let her know. This approach works particularly well if you asked her about making plans and she responded “text you later.”^{[6]
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- Joke with her: “Don’t think too hard now!”^{[7]
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- Bring up the plans you were trying to make: “I get it, picking between the beach and grabbing coffee is a tough choice.”
- Explain why you need a response: “Are we still on for Tuesday night? Let me know because I need to buy tickets.”

5

Follow up with a funny text to encourage her to reply.

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After 1 day, use a bit of humor to revive the conversation. Instead of sending a serious “Are you okay?” text, keep it light. Chances are, she’ll apologize and respond with a reason why she wasn’t able to text you back.^{[8]
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- “I understand if you’re too nervous to text me back. I’ve been told I have that effect on people.”^{[9]
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- “I’m going to have to give you an F in texting.” Only use this approach if you two engage in a lot of banter. Otherwise, she might take it as aggressive.

6

Text a short, random question to restart the conversation.

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Use a silly prompt to get her to reply. Once you’ve waited and given her space, try and restart the conversation if she hasn’t messaged back. Instead of trying to pick up where you left off, throw in a new conversation starter. Keep it playful to continue building your bond and boost her attraction to you.^{[10]
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- “Hey if we could go anywhere together, where would you want to travel?”
- “What’s a superpower you’ve always wanted to have?”
- “What celebrity do you think would do best in the zombie apocalypse?”

7

Get her interested by sharing exciting news.

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Send her an interesting update about your life. Try this strategy to pique her interest again. It’s even better if you send something cool that you did and back it up with a photo.^{[11]
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- Try the cliffhanger approach: “You’ll never guess who I just ran into…”
- Tell her about amazing food: “I just had the best burrito ever. Guess where I found it.”
- Send a photo of yourself doing something fun: “Just checked bungee jumping off my bucket list.”

8

Check in if you sent an emotional text or had a fight.

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Did you send her a super intense text? If an emotional outburst led to her “I’ll text you later” message, wait a few hours. Then, if you need to apologize, do it. If you hurt her feelings, ask about how she’s doing. Depending on the level of emotions, it might be an even better idea just to call her.^{[12]
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- “Hey, I know that last conversation got really intense. Are you ok?”
- “I’m really sorry about those last messages. That wasn’t cool.”
- “Can we talk on the phone? I feel really bad about what I said.”

9

Wait a little bit before responding if she does reply.

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As a rule of thumb, if she does send another text after a few hours, wait a few minutes before replying.^{[13]
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Research source} Don’t acknowledge the delay. Instead, continue the conversation as if no time passed.^{[14]
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10

Shorten your texts to get a better response rate.

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Limit your text length to about 3 lines. She might find it difficult to respond to long texts or thinking you’re coming on too strong.^{[15]
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Research source} Similarly, avoid heavy subject matter in your messages. Some people may really enjoy deep conversations over text, but if you don’t know her well yet, hold off.
- Be brief if she asks what you’re up to: “Just hanging out with friends. We’re grabbing pizza tonight! Hbu?”
- Avoid overwhelming her by only sending 1 question per text: “How’s your weekend going?”^{[16]
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11

Send only one text at a time.

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Double or triple texting can send a needy vibe and increase the odds she’ll stop responding or say “text you later.” The exception to the rule is if she’s replying really quickly. Then it’s okay to send multiple messages as long as she’s doing the same.^{[17]
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12

Pretend you’re just texting your friend.

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If you get stressed out waiting for her to respond, take a breath. Texting the girl you like can feel super intimidating and stressful. Instead of thinking “I’m texting my crush” just imagine you’re texting a friend. Your messages will probably come out more naturally, and you won’t worry as much about her response time.^{[18]
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- Share a funny GIF or meme.
- Ask her for advice as a way to start a conversation: “Hey can I get your advice on something?”
- Don’t interrogate her with questions. Add a few normal comments alongside your questions: “I was just thinking about the movie we watched in Psych class. Super weird, right?”

13

Move on if “text you later” becomes a pattern.

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Let her go if she stops responding or keeps saying she’ll text you later. It’s normal if she doesn’t text back a few times or has a few late responses. However, when she consistently ignores your messages, says she’ll respond later (and doesn’t), or leaves you on read, she’s probably not interested. Trust your instincts and be kind to yourself by moving on. You’ll find someone out there who’s right for you!^{[19]
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- Don’t take it personally. She might not be interested in seeing anyone right now.