PDF download Download Article PDF download Download Article

Have you been waiting for the perfect time to share the first kiss with your date, but you aren’t sure if you’re ready? While you ultimately get to choose when you have your first kiss, there are a few ways to know if it's the right time. Keep reading for a ton of helpful tips about how to plan your kiss and find out if the other person is interested too!

When Should You Have Your First Kiss?

There's no right or wrong time, so have your first kiss when you feel comfortable. You'll usually feel a romantic spark after a few dates, but don't feel rushed. Look for flirty body language like eye contact or physical touch to see if they're interested.

1

Expect to share a kiss within the first 3 dates.

PDF download Download Article
  1. If you want a quick way to see if you’re compatible, try smooching within the first few dates.[1] Some people want to kiss right away on the first date, but others just need a little more time getting to know each other. Just remember that it’s completely normal if someone wants to wait longer if they have different values or beliefs.[2]
    • There is absolutely nothing wrong with kissing on the first date if you really like the person and they’re into it![3]
  2. Advertisement
2

Go for a kiss when the moment feels right to you.

PDF download Download Article
  1. If you try choosing a specific time for your first kiss, you may start feeling a little anxious waiting. Take a breath, relax, and just pay attention if you’re feeling that romantic spark.[4] If you’re having a fun time and sharing a laugh with your date, try leaning in for a kiss to see how they respond.[5]
    • Only kiss people if you feel a connection with them so you don’t lead them on.
    • There might be a chance that your date isn’t ready for a kiss quite yet. If they pull away, stop and apologize. Wait and let the other person make the next move so you don’t come off too strong.
3

Watch for flirty body language during the date.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Watch how your date acts around you to see if they’re giving you any signals. A light brush against you, a lot of eye contact, or them playing with their hair are all signs that they’re into you.[6] If they’re biting their lip or looking at your lips, then it’s a sure sign they want you to make a move.
    • Try brushing against them to see if they respond. If they try to pull away, wait to make your move since they may need to get to know you a little better first.
  2. Advertisement
4

Wait for an intimate moment in a quiet, private place.

PDF download Download Article
5

Lean in closer to subtly test the waters.

PDF download Download Article
  1. As soon as you start leaning in, you’re telling the other person you want to kiss them. Stop just in front of their face so they can go in for the kiss if they feel the same way.[8] Otherwise, you’ve respectfully given them the option to still say no.[9]
    • If the other person isn’t interested, they may lean away or tell you they aren’t ready. Rather than getting discouraged, wait for another moment and let them take the initiative next time.
    EXPERT TIP
    John Keegan

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Ease into your first kiss. Start with a casual touch, like holding hands. As comfort grows, progress to a gentle arm around the shoulder. Read their body language–sustained eye contact and corresponding touch are positive signs. If all feels right, lean in slowly and wait for their response.

  2. Advertisement


6

Ask if the other person wants to kiss.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Consent is really important for making sure that the other person feels comfortable. While it may seem like your date wants to kiss from their body language, it never hurts to ask if you’re feeling nervous or anxious. That way, you give the other person a choice without forcing them into a decision.[10]
    • For example, you could say something like, “I’ve had so much fun on our date tonight. Can I give you a kiss?” If they say yes, then you can lean in for the kiss. If they say no, then wait until another time later in the date or during the next date.
7

Tell them directly that you’d like to kiss.

PDF download Download Article
  1. If you’re feeling really passionate but don’t want to sound too aggressive, tell them exactly how you’re feeling. That way, you make your intentions really clear, but your date still gets to choose if they want to kiss you.[11]
    • For example, you could say something like, “This night has been amazing, and I would love to kiss you right now.” If they say that they don’t want to kiss, thank them for telling you and respect their choice. You can always try again later or during another date.
  2. Advertisement
8

Give them a peck on the cheek if you want to take it slow.

PDF download Download Article
  1. Even if you really like someone, it’s completely normal to feel nervous about your first real kiss. If you still want to give them a kiss but aren’t ready for a full makeout session, try a quick peck on the cheek instead so they know you’re still into them.[12]
    • If you don’t want to be the one to make the first move, kissing your date on the cheek might give them the courage to kiss you back.[13]
    • Depending on your culture, a kiss on the cheek may feel a little more platonic than romantic.[14]
9

Try giving a goodbye kiss.

PDF download Download Article
10

Wait until the next date if you don’t feel comfortable yet.

PDF download Download Article

Join the Discussion...

WikiRiverDancer770
68
I'm 25 and haven't had my first kiss yet. I can't help but feel like I'm behind :( I feel hopless about my love life. Am I just doomed to be alon... Read More
Eddy Baller
3
Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
For your first kiss, take it easy and build up to the moment. Start with a little bit of light physical contact. You might start by massaging her... Read More
WikiRiverDancer770
68
I'm 25 and haven't had my first kiss yet. I can't help but feel like I'm behind :( I feel hopless about my love life. Am I just doomed to be alon... Read More

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
Advertisement

Video

Tips

  • Have a mint or some gum handy so you have fresh breath for your kiss.[19]
  • It’s completely normal for the first kiss with someone to feel a little awkward. As you get further in a relationship, kissing should feel better.
Submit a Tip
All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
Name
Please provide your name and last initial
Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
Advertisement

Warnings

  • Using your tongue too much while you’re kissing could be a turn-off, so see what the other person is comfortable with before you start making out.[20]
Advertisement

About This Article

Eddy Baller
Co-authored by:
Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Eddy Baller and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising. Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others. This article has been viewed 153,723 times.
4 votes - 100%
Co-authors: 4
Updated: July 29, 2024
Views: 153,723
Categories: Kissing
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 153,723 times.

Did this article help you?

Advertisement