How to Whisper in a Girl's Ear

Reviewed by John Keegan

Last Updated: March 27, 2023 Fact Checked

When you're on a date with a girl, and get the sense that the outing is going pretty well, you might want to try using a slightly theatrical gesture to communicate a special thought: whispering in her ear. Under the right circumstances, whispering in your companion's ear can show her that you'd like to increase the level of familiarity of the conversation's tone, if you're having trouble expressing this otherwise. It can also quickly break up monotony if you feel you're at a lull in the conversation. If carried out confidently and gracefully, whispering in her ear can electrify your interaction while tastefully inviting her to flirt a little with you in return.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Looking for the Right Moment

Download Article

The appropriate time to whisper in a girl's ear can vary, but at least make sure that she's enjoying your company, and hasn't been shying away from you. If she laughs at something you say, smiles frequently while you're talking, and consistently makes eye contact with you, the chances are good that she finds you likable. If you began speaking as part of a group, and she breaks off from that group to talk to you alone, this is also a likely signal that she's interested in getting to know you.^{[1]
X
Trustworthy Source

HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

Go to source}
A good way to get an idea about whether she'd be comfortable with close contact such as a whisper, is to touch her hand or arm lightly while making a joke or confiding something. If she seems okay with this, then she'd probably not have a problem with your whispering to her. But if she draws back from you, and the tone of the conversation deteriorates after that, it's best not to try making any further contact.

Advertisement
3
Offer to buy her something first. If you're at a bar or nightclub, a good way to begin working your way to earning her affection is to ask if you can buy her a drink. If she accepts, this is an indication that she'll at least give you a chance to show that you're worth her time. If she's with a group of friends, offer to buy them something as well. If you're up to something subtler, and there happens to be a jukebox onsite, offer to buy her a few songs.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- If you ask her for a drink, and she says no thanks, explaining that she doesn't drink, take her word for it. But don't consider it as a rejection, even if you offer her a non-alcoholic drink without success. She may really just not be thirsty.
- For the jukebox, you could try, “Did you notice the jukebox in the corner? How about I get some platters spinning—anything you'd like to hear?”
4
Suggest an alternative activity beforehand. A bold gesture such as whispering in her ear may come off more naturally if the two of you are already doing something fun together. If you're at a bar, getting her to play an arcade game, pool, or darts with you will allow you to shift the tone of your interaction from formal to informal. Once you've a had a laugh together, you'll both be more in the mood for flirting involving bodily contact.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- Some ways to suggest this would be, “How about getting away from the crowd for a bit and trying our hand at Space Invaders?” or “I'm sure you know a good trick shot or two at the pool table. I'd be thrilled if you could show me.”
5
Choose an appropriate phrase. Be sure you know just what you're going to say, and how to say it, before whispering. Pretend you're on stage, and need to deliver your lines convincingly. You can whisper sweet nothings, secrets, or whatever else you fancy, as long as it will fit with the tone of the conversation you've already been having. If you want to make her laugh, and the joke is slightly off-color, you can whisper the punch line in her ear. If you'd like to come off as seductive, be careful not to use descriptive language that might offend most people, especially if you've only recently met her.
- If you've only met that day, try something simple and attentive that is not likely to offend, such as, “Has anyone told you how pretty you look tonight?”^{[4]
  X
  Research source}
- If you're feeling confident, you could try a suggestive phrase such as, “Have you seen how beautiful the moon looks tonight?”

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Making the Approach

Download Article

1
Stand or sit to the side of her. This will make it easier to whisper in her ear, which would be awkward directly from the front—it could appear as if you're going in for a kiss. If you'd still like to add some element of surprise, wait until she turns her head away from you before approaching her ear.
- If you already know her fairly well, you could try to surprise her by whispering from behind her. But do this only if you know she's not easily frightened, since it could produce a big scare.
- If you especially want to avoid startling her, you can try placing one hand gently on her shoulder before approaching her ear.
2
Cup your hand around your mouth. If you're on her right side, use your right hand to cup your mouth. If you're on her left side, use your left hand to cup your mouth. This way your whispering will be shielded from the hearing of any others who might be in front of her or to her side.
- If her hair is covering her ear, avoid brushing it away if you've just met her that day. If you've been on at least a couple of dates, brushing her hair aside should be acceptable.
If you've only just met the person, avoid making direct contact between your cupped hand and her ear. If she's your girlfriend or if you've been dating for some time, it should be okay to press your hand lightly against her ear while whispering.
If you're in a noisy area such as a busy bar or at a party, you may have to speak above a whispering tone in order for her to hear you. Be careful not to yell, though. A tone slightly above a whisper should be audible, since your mouth will be close to her ear. But if there is little or no background noise in your area, speak slowly in a whisper.
If she immediately moves away from you even before you get a chance to whisper, or after, you'll know to avoid trying to make physical contact with her for the moment. But if she responds with a smile, giggle, and sustained eye contact, you've done well. Yet be careful not to take a positive reaction as an invitation to move a step beyond by hugging her or holding her hand right away. Be content with having made her laugh and smile, and wait for a response from her, such as touching your hand or moving closer to you, that shows she's probably comfortable with more involved flirting.

Expert Q&A

Search

Add New Question

Ask a Question

200 characters left

Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

Submit

Tips

Talk slowly.

Thanks
Helpful 2 Not Helpful 0
Resist the temptation to whisper in the ear of someone you've never met. This can be considered aggressive, even bordering on assault to some. But if you've spent at least a half an hour getting acquainted and are hitting it off pretty well, it should be acceptable to try.

Thanks
Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
Make sure that you your breath is fresh, because if it's not, that could ruin the effect.

Thanks
Helpful 3 Not Helpful 1

Show More Tips

Submit a Tip

All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published

Name

Please provide your name and last initial

Submit

Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

Warnings

Don't force it if it is clear she isn't interested.

Thanks
Helpful 37 Not Helpful 4
Don't grasp too hard on her shoulder.

Thanks
Helpful 36 Not Helpful 5
If you are just a casual friend of hers, don't try it.

Thanks
Helpful 25 Not Helpful 17