Have you ever done something that made you think: “Wait, am I being selfish?” Then, you start to wonder if you’re a generous person—or if you’re actually selfish, and maybe you just didn’t realize it.
Give honest answers to these quick questions, and we’ll tell you once and for all if you’re a selfish person.
Questions Overview
- I can't remember.
- A year ago, or more.
- Several months ago, probably.
- Within the last few months.
- Never! That's not my job.
- Only if I'm asked or told to.
- Usually, if I have time.
- All the time, every day.
- Ignore them and keep walking. I've got things to do!
- I'll slow down and see if they manage, but I won't stop unless they really need it.
- I ask them if they need help, but I don't push it.
- I rush in and help them load up the car. I can tell they need help!
- I tell them nope, sorry! We're all waiting our turn.
- I might let them cut, but only if I'm not in a rush myself.
- I let them cut, but only if they're polite about asking.
- I let them go ahead of me. I don't mind waiting a little longer.
- Terrible! I can’t help but gossip.
- I can keep a secret if it’s super serious; otherwise I can’t do it.
- I’m pretty good at keeping secrets, but I slip sometimes.
- I’ll keep any secret. It doesn’t matter what it is.
- Take it. Whoever lost it should've been more careful.
- I take the cash inside, but turn the wallet into a lost and found.
- I bring the wallet to the nearest lost and found, and don't touch anything inside.
- I look inside for info on the owner, and see if I can track them down myself.
- Sure. I swipe things now and then.
- Yes, but I really needed it.
- Yes, but it was super small. They didn't even notice.
- Nope. That's not my style.
- Yes, for years if I have to. If someone wrongs me, they should pay.
- Sometimes when I'm really hurt, but I always get over it eventually.
- Only once or twice.
- Never. We all make mistakes, and we have to be able to forgive each other.
- I’d move to a foreign country and live a life of luxury, without telling anyone I know.
- I’d buy my parents or family a nice house, then spend the rest on myself.
- I'd give gifts to tons of people I know but make sure I have enough left to live a cozy life.
- I'd give it all away to charity. Others need the money more than I do.
- Nope. I got here first, it's my seat.
- Maybe, but only if they're old or pregnant or something.
- Probably, but only if I knew I could stand for that long myself.
- Of course. I don't mind standing.
- Never. It's just a mistake, why does it matter who did it?
- Sometimes. It depends on if I'll be punished or not.
- Usually, but only when owning up actually matters.
- Always. It's a chance for me to learn.
- Nah. I'm too busy looking out for myself.
- Only if it doesn't make too much trouble or work for me.
- Sure! I'll do a favor when I'm asked.
- Definitely. Even when they haven't asked.
More Quizzes
Letting Go of Selfishness
Selfishness is something every single person experiences. It’s basically an instinct—we’re constantly trying to make sure that we stay safe and get what we need, and sometimes those needs tend to conflict with other people’s. Then, we have to decide: whose needs matter more? But when those needs are actually just wants, that’s when survival becomes selfishness. It’s understandable! But shaking those habits is important if you want to not only get along with the people around you, but forge meaningful connections and collaborate with others. Here are a few ways to start breaking selfish habits:
1. Remind yourself you’re not the most important person in the room.
We don’t mean you’re not important; you are! You’re just not more important than the person in front of you, who’s buying the last doughnut, or the mother sitting next to you dealing with a crying child. Everyone is living their own lives and just trying to look out for themselves and for each other. Once you start remembering this, and see other people as complex and complete, it becomes harder to center yourself. Suddenly, you’re part of a bigger web.
2. Put yourself in other people’s shoes.
When you see someone else who has something you want, or you worry they’ll take something you want or need, try to pause and imagine what they’re experiencing right now. That mom with the crying baby is probably way more frustrated than you are, and even embarrassed. That person sitting on the subway while you have to stand might have had a long day, or may even be physically disabled, even if you can’t see it. Practicing empathy is a huge asset!
3. Ask yourself how serious the situation is.
Sometimes we get the urge to do something drastic when selfishness wells up in us. We cut lines, snatch the last groceries off the shelf, keep secrets from people we love so that we can have something all to ourselves. So many of these situations can be avoided by taking a deep breath, stepping back, and wondering: Is it really that big of a deal? Cutting in line or in traffic doesn’t save you all that much time, does it? When in doubt, ask yourself: Will not getting what I want hurt me? Or does it just inconvenience me?
4. Ask yourself how you can make someone’s day better.
The most effective way to combat selfishness is reversing that urge that tells you to take, and instead turn outward and start giving. As you go about your day, be on the lookout for ways that you can make someone else’ day easier. That might be buying someone a coffee, giving a larger tip to a service worker, letting someone merge in crowded traffic. These are all things that get your mind off yourself and onto other people. And once you get in that mindset, it becomes easier and easier to reprogram yourself and become a more giving, generous, and selfless person.
Want to learn more?
For more information about becoming less selfish, check out these resources:
