How to Ask a Girl to a Dance

Co-authored by Eddy Baller and Sophia Bell

Last Updated: May 16, 2023 References

Are you a bit too shy to ask your favorite girl to the school dance? Making a plan and practicing what you’ll say can help you feel more confident. Asking a girl to a dance is all about destroying your fear of rejection and being the real you, because a guy with nothing to lose is a guy girls want to be around.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Planning to Ask Her

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Don't wait to ask her on the day of the dance. She might already have a date by then, and there's a chance that she'll think she wasn't your first choice. Ask her around two to three weeks before the dance. This also gives her time to figure out what to wear.
Spend a few minutes going over what you want to say so you don’t trip over your words when the time comes. You can even practice in front of the mirror until your question sounds casual and sincere. Make sure you have a go-with-the-flow attitude.^{[1]
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Dress nicely. You don't have to go all out and wear something like a suit; save that for the dance. Just make sure you've showered, your hair looks nice, and that you're wearing an outfit that doesn't look sloppy.^{[2]
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- Use deodorant and brush your teeth beforehand.
- Don't overdo it on the cologne, as this might push her away.
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Remember, no means no. If she says she doesn't like you in that way or just says “no,” then back off. Nothing ticks a girl off more than an annoying guy that doesn't leave her alone. Not only is it rude, but it can make her dislike you more.
- If she says "no," do not ask why. Say something like, "Oh, all right. No problem."
- If she says, "I'll think about it," don't call her for a confirmed response. Wait until she calls you back. If she doesn't call back three days before the date of the dance, take it as a no.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Coming Up With a Creative Way to Ask

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Pick up something simple like flowers or candy. Give the gift to her before you ask if she’ll be your date. There won't be as much pressure on her to say yes if you stick with something simple, and she'll appreciate the kind gesture.^{[3]
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Asking her in a romantic way will create a memory she won’t forget. One idea is to put a bunch of keys in a bucket and label one with the words “find the key to my heart.” Label it with your address, and hopefully she'll follow cue and come over to your house where you can finally ask her to the dance.^{[4]
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Write your message on balloons and deliver them to her. Each balloon could have a different word on it (e.g. one balloon each for “Will” “you” “go” “to” “the” “dance” “with” “me” “?”). You could also spell out your message in candy, like jellybeans or lollipops. Get permission (from the principal or her parent) to put the candy message in her locker or her bedroom.^{[5]
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Get permission from her parents to decorate her driveway. Spell out your message, or simply put “Dance?” Get creative by using a variety or colors or illustrating your message.^{[6]
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Design a treasure hunt with a map that will lead her straight to you. For example, draw a map of your school and add a dotted line leading to the parking lot. Wait there for her to arrive, and present her with flowers or candy for completing the hunt. Then ask her to the dance.^{[7]
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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Popping the Question

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Before asking a girl to a dance, you should start the conversation with something as generic as a simple hello. Try this method and you will come across her smoothly.^{[8]
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Though you may be tempted to ask her over text message, she’ll appreciate it more if you ask her in person. You can text her to see if she can meet up with you, or find her before or after class.^{[9]
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Find a private area at school (but not too private), and ask her there. If you ask her in public, she may feel pressured to say yes and this also puts her in an embarrassing situation. Asking her in public could also be embarrassing for you if she declines your invitation!
Be confident. Take a deep breath before you approach her. Look her straight in the eyes and keep your head up during the conversation so you appear present and engaging. No matter how nervous you are, take your time.^{[10]
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Tell her that she looks nice. Start the conversation by saying something like, “You look very nice today.” Hopefully, she'll appreciate the compliment and it will make the “asking her out” part much easier.
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Make your move. Be straightforward and explain that you want her to be your date. Say something like “Would you like to go to the dance with me?” or “I was hoping we could go to the dance together. What do you think?”
- If she already has a date, you can say something like, “Oh, that’s a bummer. I was hoping we could go together. Maybe next time?”

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Question

What is a cute way to ask a girl out?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Asking a girl to a dance in a creative way shows that you care, but make sure to focus on actually asking her and not coming up with a really elaborate plan. Whatever effort you put into it, she'll appreciate.

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Question

My girl is in a different part of the school. What should I do? We only have pie and lunch to talk.

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Ask her out at lunch time, but in a secluded area like in an empty hallway.

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What if you just want to ask her as a friend in junior high?

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Make it clear that you would like to go to the dance with her as friends. Do not lead her on!

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Tips

Go easy on yourself. Not everything has to be absolutely perfect.

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Be yourself.

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Asking a girl to just any dance is one thing, but if you're asking her to prom, you'll probably want some extra advice.

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