How to Shoot Your Shot with a Girl

Written by Kate Dreyfus | Edited by Aly Rusciano

Last Updated: May 13, 2024 Fact Checked

So, you're crushing on this incredible girl and want to know how you can make the first move. Whether you’re looking to shoot your shot via text, social media, or in-person, we’ve got you covered! Shooting your shot is all about confidence, so keep reading for tips and tricks on how you can successfully pursue the girl of your dreams.

This article is based on an interview with our holistic love coach and intuitive healer, Kate Dreyfus, owner of Evolve & Empower. Check out the full interview here.

1

Decide when you want to approach her.

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Picking the right place and time is crucial when shooting your shot. If you’re approaching her in person, do so at a time when she’s not busy or surrounded by distractions. If you’re sending a message, hit send at a time when she’s not sleeping, working, or in school. This will increase your chances of getting a positive response and let her know you respect her.
- Go up to her when she’s alone and not surrounded by friends.
- Try to avoid shooting your shot in the middle of class if you go to school together.
- Ask her if she wants to meet you later to chat.
The best time to approach her is when you are both alone with no other people around, especially if she is shy, so that she does not feel singled out or embarrassed.

2

Compliment her.

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Start by indirectly saying, “I like you.” Craft that first DM, text, or pick-up line around something you truly like about her. Complimenting appearances is a great start, but try aiming for something other than looks. Tell her why you like her on a deeper level. Here’s a mix of some of our favorite compliments:^{[1]
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- “Could you be any cuter?”
- “You have the prettiest eyes.”
- “Your smile can light up any room.”
- “You know what’s awesome? You.”
- “I wish I could hear you laugh all day.”
- “You’re absolutely incredible. You know that?”
- “I’ve never met someone with a heart as big as yours.”

3

Ask her open-ended questions.

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Messaging her on social media is a great way to grab her attention. Start a conversation by sliding into her DMs with an open-ended question. Shooting your shot is all about breaking the ice, so why not ask her a question she’s bound to answer? Comment on something she’s posted to her Instagram story or message her about a fact in her bio.^{[2]
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Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices

Go to source} Try shooting your shot with one of these DM messages:
- “Your puppy is adorable. How old is he?”
- “I’m curious…What’s your favorite pizza topping?”
- “I loved that book! Got any other recommendations?”
- “Your food always looks so good! Who taught you to cook?”
- “I can’t stop thinking about tomorrow’s test. What do you think will be the hardest part?”

4

Comment on her social media posts.

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Capture her attention on social media to shoot your shot. Whether you know her IRL or not, liking and commenting on her posts is a great way to say, “Hey, I see you.” The more you interact with her profile, the more often she’ll see yours, so type whatever pops into your mind. Aim for flirty, friendly, and funny comments like:
- “Stop being so perfect.”
- “Looking super cute, as always.”
- “This is the best thing I’ve ever seen.”
- “Is something on fire, or is it just you?”
- “That pizza looks good! Can I have some?”

Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: Do I Have Rizz?

What does it mean to have a lot of rizz? “Rizz” is short for “charisma,” and it basically measures your charm and appeal—especially when it comes to flirting. So, how much rizz do you have right now? Are you a natural at chatting people up, or does your rizz game need a little work? Answer a few simple questions and find out!

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What do you absolutely need to have rizz?

Confidence.

Witty one-liners.

Money.

Self-love.

5

Make her smile.

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Humor can break the ice when you're shooting your shot. Send her funny memes, tell her a joke, or say a cheesy pick-up line to erase any awkwardness that may come with approaching her. You can base your hilarious remarks and texts around her interests, or opt for one of these smile-inducing pick-up lines:
- “You’re so stunning I forgot my pick-up line.”
- “Is your name WiFi? Because I feel a connection.”
- “Are you a thief? Because you’ve stolen my heart.”
- “I’ve got to call the cops. It’s got to be illegal to be so pretty.”
- “Do you have a bandage? I scraped my knee falling for you.”
If you want to do it without words, just smile and wink at her. She’ll undoubtedly laugh.

6

Open up about your feelings.

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Playing games to try and win her heart will only push her away. Rather than beating around the bush, tell her how you truly feel. Vulnerability and honesty go a long way when talking to a girl, especially when you’re hoping for a future relationship. Try saying something like:
- “You’re a really amazing person.”
- “I’m not going to lie. I really like you.”
- “I feel safe when I’m with you, you know?”
- This can go farther than just expressing your feelings for her, so try telling her about yourself and your hardships.
- Opening up to her emotionally can pave the path for a successful and long-lasting relationship.

7

Be yourself.

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The absolute best thing you can do is be authentically you. You’re one amazing person, and she’s bound to notice if you let your personality shine. Stick with your heart, and all will happen as it should be.^{[3]
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- Wearing clothes you feel comfortable and confident in can make a huge difference. Plus, your style shows off your personality.
- Giving yourself a little pep talk before you shoot your shot can help you feel confident and self-assured—you’ve got this!

8

Be bold.

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Confidence can go a long way when shooting your shot. It takes guts to tell a girl how you really feel, and she’ll value you putting yourself out there. So, take a deep breath and let it out—don’t be afraid to be a bit vulnerable because she’ll truly be impressed by it.
- Be confident by putting your shoulders back, standing tall, and speaking with conviction.
- Repeat the mantra “I got this” to remind yourself that you can do this.
Warning: There is a fine line between overconfidence and arrogance. Be careful not to cross that line.

9

Ask her out on a date.

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Shooting your shot is about taking that first step toward asking her out. At this point, you’ve either slid into the DMs or started a conversation. You’ve shown your ambitions and gotten her attention, so now it’s time to ask, “Will you go out with me?”
- Ask her out naturally by stating your feelings and pausing to let her reply, or simply asking the question word-for-word.^{[4]
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- Make it about her by asking, “How would you feel if I asked you out?” instead of, “I want to ask you out.”^{[5]
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- Ask her to do something with a date in mind. Rather than saying, “You wanna go out sometime?” be specific with a time, place, and location.
- Pay attention to her body language if you’re together in person. Leaning close or touching your arm could be a sign she likes you.^{[6]
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If it is the first time you are asking her out, try to make it as casual as possible (a park, a coffee shop, a shopping mall, etc.). Places like the beach or a swimming pool are more intimate (because very little fabric is used and a lot of skin is exposed) and you should reserve them for when you know each other better and have more confidence; ergo, later dates.

10

Remember that everyone can get rejected.

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It’s important to realize that she could always say “no.” Rejection happens to everyone, and that's okay. Sometimes things don’t work out. But you know what? You gave it your best shot and put yourself out there, and that should be celebrated!^{[7]
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- We know it’s cheesy, but there are plenty of fish in the sea.
- Take rejection as an opportunity to get back out there and try again.
- You only get one life, so don’t waste it on the maybes—go out there and shoot your shot!
Warning: Don’t think it’s “the end of the world” if a girl rejects you. Someone else will like you and accept you.

11

Notice her hobbies and interests.

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One of the best things you can do to impress a girl is pay attention. Everyone wants to be seen and heard, especially in a romantic relationship. Showing a girl you’re genuinely interested in her will let her know you care about her.
- Ask her about her interests, hobbies, and passions.
- Incorporate her interests into a grand gesture like buying her favorite candy bar or inviting her to a movie with her favorite actor.
It is also a good idea to dedicate a song to her, either by her favorite artist or one that touches her soul. It will most likely bring tears of emotion to her eyes.