This article was co-authored by Stefanie Safran. Stefanie Safran is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Owner of Stef in the City, a Matchmaking and Dating Coaching business focused on an honest and hands on approach. Stefanie labels herself as “Chicago's Introductionista®” as she has over 15 years of experience in the matchmaking industry. Her work has been featured on various media such as: ABC7, NBC5, CBS2, WGN, FOX, The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Sun Times, The HuffPost, and Refinery29. She holds a MBA in marketing and branding from Loyola University in addition to her BA from the University of Wisconsin-Madison.
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Admitting your feelings to a crush can be difficult. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone you like them, but it can be so rewarding once you do. By choosing the right time and place and being forward, your crush may turn into your next relationship!
Steps
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Give him some signs. You should always give your guy the opportunity to realize for himself that you like him so that he can do something about it if he wants to. Be a little flirty and be sure to spend time with him. Try to introduce little touches and other hints.[1] Just don't drag this on too long![2]
- Try biting your lip every time he looks at you or smile nervously. Look into his eyes and then turn away slowly.
- Reader Poll: We asked 930 wikiHow readers what they were most nervous about when building a friendship with their special someone, and only 10% of them said letting them know more about me. [Take Poll] This is the perfect time to open up about who you are, so go for it!
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Find a good time. It's important to choose a good time to talk. You don't want him to be distracted, upset about something else, or just downright busy! That will kill your chances before you even get started. Talk to him about setting aside some good time to talk, or try to catch him at a time when you know he won't be busy.Advertisement
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Talk to him in private. Talk to him in private. Confessing your crush in front of other people will make him feel pressured and embarrassed, and you don't want that! People that feel cornered can be unwilling to admit how they really feel. Instead, get him on his own so that the two of you can have a real heart-to-heart.
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Be bold. When confessing your feelings, you have to just get out there and say how you feel. Be confident! Guys will think this is sexy. You also have to be bold because you're going to need to take the initiative in talking about how you feel and whether the two of you could have anything.
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Say it - it's simple. The most basic way to confess your crush is to just come right out and say it. This can take courage, but generally people will appreciate your honesty and will be flattered by your bravery. This avoids gimmicks and shows how much you really think they're worth. Here are some examples of how to say it:
- "Hey, Brian. I thought you deserved to know that I have very strong feelings for you. You don't have to return my feelings, but I thought it was only right for you to know."
- "Michael: you're special. You're kind, smart, and funny and I am so much happier when you're around. I want us to be more than friends. I hope you see, like I do, that we could be something really great."
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Use his interests. Use his interests in order to confess your feelings. You can use this simply to give yourself an opening (for example, by going rock climbing with him) or you can use it to confess in a unique way (for example, by inviting him over and having the Han Solo/Princess Leia flirt scene queued up on your TV).
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Use a song. You probably don't remember what mixtapes are, but using songs to confess feelings is still a viable option.
- Find a song you know he'll love. Ask to borrow a USB drive from him to transfer a file from a school/work computer to your personal computer. Leave the mp3 of the song on the USB, specially named so he'll know: "MIKE - Tessa Wants to Hold Your Hand" or some other reference to the song.
- Good song options include: "I Want To Hold Your Hand" by the Beatles, Frank Sinatra's "Let's Fall In Love", or Daft Punk's "Digital Love".
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Make him a present. You can make him a present to confess your feelings. Try to tailor it to your crush, and if you two were already friends try to use it to remind him of the wonderful times you've had together.[3]
- Paint a small wooden box with both of your initials in a heart, and fill the box with pics of the two of you hanging out, stubs from movies you saw together, or other reminders of fun things you've done together.
- Put together a relaxation care package, with two movie tickets, two bags of candy, and a message something like, "I know you had a hard time with finals last week. I'd love the chance to wind down with you. If you're not interested, no worries! Take whoever you want...but I'd love the chance to make you laugh until you forget what quadratic polynomials are."
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Write him a letter. There's nothing more romantic than some old-fashioned letter writing. Write him a letter telling him how you feel and put it in his locker or (if you know his address) mail it to his house. You can also leave it in a place where you know he'll find it, like in his books or his desk.[4]
- Spritz it with a bit of your perfume to make it extra exciting.
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Make a video. Make a YouTube video confessing your crush (you probably shouldn't mention him by name). Tell him how you feel and why. Then email or text him a QR code with the link to the video. You can also print out the code and put it in is locker or tape it inside his textbook.
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Don't pressure him. Don't break right out into the "I love you"s and don't talk about the future you want the two of you to have. You want to avoid speaking in definite terms about the future because this creates a lot of pressure and expectations for him...which is stressful and can scare him away!
- Instead, speak in terms of what you want to try or what you hope might become real eventually. "I hope we can try being more than friends,", etc.
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Don't be creepy. Don't be creepy when you tell him how you feel. This means no begging, no bargaining, and try not to touch him or get into his personal space until you know he feels the same way. You also shouldn't cling around him if he needs time to think about what you said.[5]
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Don't use social media or a phone. If you can, tell him how you feel in person. Using social media or a text can come across as not being very serious or, worse, being a joke. This is not how you want to start things with him.
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Don't rush into things. You don't want to rush into telling him and if he returns your feelings, don't rush into a serious relationship. If you're going to go through the torture of confessing, you want to be sure that you really like him first, right? This is can be a long process and one that will continue even if you start dating.[6]
- Just focus on getting to know him for who he really is, by spending time with him and talking about things that are important to you: what you both want for the future, what your beliefs are, and what you like to do for fun.
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Don't sweat rejection. Don't worry about being rejected. It can feel awful to be rejected, but in a few years you probably won't remember it at all. Remember: it's his loss. You don't want to be with someone that doesn't like you as much as you like them anyway. You deserve better than that![7]
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Ask him out, if he returns your feelings. If he does return your feelings, make sure to actually ask him out if he doesn't ask you out! You shouldn't feel bad about making your intentions clear or taking initiative like this: sometimes it's necessary to get what you want out of life! With feelings confessed, asking him out is as simple as coming up with an idea for a date and taking things from there. Just ask!
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Look for good guys. If you strike out with him or if he's a real jerk about rejecting you, you might want to take a look at the kinds of guys you find yourself interested in. Stop pursuing guys who don't respect you or like you for who you really are. You might find you have better luck if you focus on what's important: nice guys who have their priorities in the right place.
Community Q&A
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QuestionIs it bad to tell your crush you like them?wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff AnswerwikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerUsually, no. However, it might not be the best idea if it would be inappropriate for you to have a relationship with them—for example, if they’re already with someone else. But if you’re both available, go for it! -
QuestionHow do I tell my crush I like him over text?wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff AnswerwikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerIf you haven’t really talked to them a lot before, you might start by striking up a casual conversation. For example, say something like, “What did you think of that homework assignment in English?” If they answer in a friendly way and it seems like they enjoy chatting with you, try telling them in a straightforward way. Say something like, “I really like you! Want to hang out sometime?” -
QuestionWhat is a creative way to confess to your crush?wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff AnswerwikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerTry writing a handwritten letter and leaving it for them. Or, you could give them a little gift and tuck a note inside, saying something like, “I think you’re pretty awesome! Want to go see a movie with me?” You could also text them a flirty meme or gif, or confess by sending them a playlist of love songs.
Video
Reader Videos
Tips
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Make sure to consider how you really feel - are you romantically interested or is it just a fling? Give yourself a few days to decide, you need to make sure you actually like him before making your move!Thanks
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If he says no, don't be sad. There are plenty more fish in the sea. And remember, it's his loss.Thanks
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Plan out how your going to confess beforehand, so that you aren't stumbling on what to say.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
- Tell him what you like about him (e.g. I love the way you smile, and I love how your eyes light up whenever you laugh). It may be a little cheesy, but it's worth a shot! Some guys find it sweet when you gather up the courage and tell him everything you like about him.
- Tell a close friend or trusted family member about your crush first! They might have more perspective, and may be able to give you advice on how to to tell your crush you like him. They'll also be a great ally you can talk to if he turns you down.
- See if you can become friends first! Sometimes it's easier to be open and honest about your feelings with a friend, especially after you've gotten to know them a bit.
References
- ↑ Stefanie Safran. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201706/11-major-flirting-techniques-women
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201411/what-message-do-your-gifts-send
- ↑ https://betterhumans.coach.me/how-to-use-writing-to-radically-improve-your-relationships-a7d8f5a850a3?gi=4583e0df267e
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-ooze/201505/how-we-decide-whos-creepy
- ↑ Stefanie Safran. Dating Coach & Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 8 May 2020.
- ↑ https://psychologia.co/how-to-deal-with-rejection/
About This Article
Reader Success Stories
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"I'm madly in love with this guy who is extremely cute. I have a drawing of him under my pillow. But I'm bashful when it comes to love because last time it broke my heart so badly I couldn't put it back together. He shows all the signs of love, but he don't seem to care rust way towards me. I've been sending pretty clear messages, though. "..." more