How to Be Sassy™ in Every Situation

Learn how to hold a room with your cheeky energy and witty remarks.

Co-authored by Dev Murphy, MA Reviewed by Sheila A. Anderson

Last Updated: November 11, 2024 Fact Checked

It’s all fine and well to be nice and shy, but if you want to be sassy, you’ve come to the right place! Saucy, vivacious, bold—all enviable qualities that will ensure you stand out from a crowd. Instead of going with the flow, you create it. Want to cultivate that spicy, unstoppable attitude yourself? Keep reading for our tips, including advice from image consultant Sheila A. Anderson, for how to become a sassier, more confident you!

Sassy 101

Embrace your sassy side by speaking your mind—but do it playfully and with a smile!
Try to be confident, but not cocky. Be unapologetically you, even if other people don’t understand.
Have fun! Don’t stand shyly off to the side at a party—join in the excitement!

1

Be a bit cheeky.

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Being cheeky means being confident, but not cocky. “Cheeky” toes the line. It’s a spice of attitude! You want to be proud, but not conceited. Honest, but not hurtful. “Cheeky” is when you say something that might be a little brash (not rude!), but you say it playfully and with a smile on your face.^{[1]
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- “Cheeky” is a pretty common term in British English; its closest American equivalent? “Sassy”!
- So the next time your friend texts you, "Hey, can I come over and play with you're ferret?" and you're sick and tired of your friend's typos, instead of responding with "Okay!" you opt for, "What?! Am I a ferret?! RUDE."

2

Be quick with a comeback.

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Show you can dish it as well as you can take it. When someone says something that’s a little less than tactful, let them know that you can be a little less than tactful, too. Play the game, baby!
- Our buddy William Shakespeare said it best when he said, "I'd challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed."
- For instance, when Shayla says she's leaving your party to go to a cooler one, tell her she might want to change first, so her shirt matches her shoes. Again—it's with a shy smile and a laugh—not a snip-snap, hair-tossed retort full of vitriol.
- Comebacks are sassy when they're disguised as a statement of fact or a question, as opposed to stating your opinion. They're nicer on the outside than they are on the inside.
- Instead of saying, "Oi! Shut up!" You say, "Is your name Kanye West? It's not? Then stop interrupting me." Kind of like that.

3

Be confident.

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If there's one thing that's true of all sassy people, it's that they're confident. It takes knowing and loving yourself to have that gusto to do your own thing, to speak your mind, to not have the personality of a wilting wallflower. So to empower your inner sass, grab that confident person within you and let them out!^{[2]
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Research source} Because they're freaking cool.
- If being confident sounds like a challenge to you, it may be easiest to start on the outside in. True confidence comes from the inside, but a little can seep in from the outside!
- Get dressed up, start feeling good on the outside, and act how you think a confident you might act. Practice makes a habit, after all!
- You don’t have to be perfect to be confident—in fact, being imperfect may give you even more sass points! As Anderson says: “We all make mistakes or mess up once in a while. When you do so, how you handle yourself makes you more human and relatable, thus increasing your charisma.”

4

Be funny.

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Bring some sharp but light-hearted humor to your attitude. “Be funny”? Might as well ask your pet ferret to recite soliloquies, huh? But you can't think of it like that—everyone has a sense of humor; everyone has things that they find humorous. It's a human thing, and it doesn't select for genes. So trust your gut—if it makes you laugh, it probably makes someone else laugh, too!^{[3]
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- Sassy people tend to zero-in on two types of humor: humor at another's expense and humor at their expense (aka self-deprecating humor). Both are light-hearted, of course!
- So next time your friend has chocolate cake on their face all day, tell them, "You had chocolate cake on your face all day. Because you ate it alone. So. Very. Alone."
- And then when you have chocolate cake on your face all day, you tell everyone it's because you ate it alone. So. Very. Alone.

5

Be direct and honest.

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Directness is not the same as “rude.” Once we hit ten years old or so, we start unconsciously learning to not say what we have on our minds—girls especially. We learn to be courteous and polite, and we definitely learn to avoid embarrassing ourselves. In learning that, we lose our ability to be direct and honest. Well, to be sassy, you've got to get a little bit of that back!
- This is, however, not an excuse to be mean. Sassy is not mean. So when your friend isn't pulling their weight on that group project of yours, it's not your place to say, "Yo. Check yourself before you wreck our grade, slacker."
- Instead, you're the one in the group with the moxie to say, "Hey. We're all working our butts off here. If you don't want to help, you're more than welcome to do a project alone, but we'd rather you chip in."
- Yeah, some people will take your directness and honesty as being mean, but those are the people that expect you to be a doormat. As long as you're not going around hurting feelings for breakfast, you're fine.

6

Be energetic.

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There's something about being sassy that is intrinsically fun. It's happy, it's bouncy, and it's full of energy.^{[4]
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Research source} If you're subdued, listless, and unenthusiastic, your sassiness could easily just get mistaken for cynicism. A pep to your step keeps your sassiness fun and enviable.
- The easiest way to seem energetic (without running around the room, which is not what we mean) is to be present.
- Instead of slouching over your phone and responding to questions with glazed-over looks or daydreaming in your own little world, get in the moment. Look at people when they talk and smile and nod. Ask questions. Joke around and flirt. Live in the moment.
- Be that person that can have fun with anything. Did you get an extra-large slice of coffee cake at lunch today? SCORE. Uh oh. Did you spill that coffee cake on your shirt? Fashion show time! Stains are all the rage, you know.

7

Make your presence known.

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Being sassy is something everyone notices! You know those people that manage to have some sort of invisibility power? They can walk into any room, and practically no one notices? They stick to the wall, slink in and slink out, barely making a sound? Yeah, that's not you. You're too rambunctious for that!
- So whether you're cracking jokes, telling stories, or putting on lunch-stain fashion shows, go for it. Don't shy away from all eyes being on you. And the best part? Your positive energy and vivaciousness will keep any party going. Not everybody can play that role!

8

Speak your mind.

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Sassy people are comfortable saying what everybody is thinking. You don't get embarrassed by telling it like it is—good or bad. So many people are afraid to ask for what they want or to give even just their true thoughts on the matter. Not you!
- So when your teacher gives you three days to write that 5-page paper, you tell him that that's an illogical amount of time. When your crush tells a funny joke, you're not afraid to tell him how cute he is. And when your friend is wearing that pair of pants she should not be wearing, you tell her before anyone else notices.
- Not used to speaking your mind? It gets easier with practice, Anderson says. "Find a friend that will help mentor you and role play various social situations. This will help you become more comfortable when you are in the real world."

9

Make your body language sassy, too.

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Being sassy is about more than talking the talk. Since you're confident, vivacious, and bold, your body language needs to match. What does a sassy person seem like with their mouth shut? Here's a couple things:
- Walk with your head high! Shoulders back and not slouching. Too much confidence for that!
- “Have open and energetic body language,” Anderson suggests. “Examples include smiling, making direct eye contact, leaning in towards others as you talk to them, and using expressive hand gestures.”
- Be flirty. Smile, touch the person you're interested in, laugh—you know how it goes.
- An eye roll or some other body equivalent (something like "talk to the hand," but less 1999) has its place in being sassy, too, but keep it to a minimum. That stuff gets negative pretty easily.

10

Don't worry what others think.

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Being sassy is about being unapologetically YOU. Some people are going to find your behavior off-putting, especially if you’re a woman—some people fiercely believe that women should be quiet and shy. And in addition to that, some people may be very sensitive and find your tell-it-like-it-is mentality to be hurtful. This is going to happen.^{[5]
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- Listen to the remarks, sure. Some may have points. But if they don't, don't pay 'em any mind.
- Being sassy is partly about knowing your audience. You may have a friend that can't handle your sarcasm or you poking fun at them. If that's the case, recognize this. You shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone, no, but consider their feelings.

11

Find a role model.

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Get that sass-inspo! Women in the media are getting stronger, bolder, and sassier by the minute. So find a role model and get some inspiration. Sometimes we need an example to follow!^{[6]
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- Prominent examples that come to mind? Beyoncé, Chappell Roan, Rihanna, even Taylor Swift has her sassy moments. Emma Stone, Jennifer Lawrence, and Aubrey Plaza are good, too. Though your Aunt Jean isn't a bad idea, either!

12

Dress stylishly.

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It’s not enough to act sassy, you gotta look the part! While being sassy shouldn't have anything to do with the clothes you wear, it definitely helps. "Leveling up what you wear increases your self-belief," Anderson says. "Your style affects your mood, your mindset." When your clothes have a punch of attitude, it'll be easier for you to feel the sass, too.^{[7]
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- Dressing in a way that makes you feel confident will also help you feel bouncier and more energized: “We all know that feeling when we put something on that we love, we have a little more pep in our step,” Anderson says. “When we are in a better mood, we have more energy.”
- "Stylish" is obviously relative. If you're into the punk scene, haute couture may not be your thing. Trust whatever this word means to you. The takeaway is that your clothes have an effect on people—including you. Can you imagine being sassy in a walrus outfit?

13

Challenge your fears.

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There is something about sassy that is unafraid. It's willing to go outside of the box and do whatever it takes. So once you’ve mastered speaking your mind and being confident, take it to the next level and challenge your fears—you'll be all the better for it.^{[8]
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Trustworthy Source

Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living

Go to source} You'll be bolder and shine brighter. What's not to like?
- So whether it's public speaking, heights, or slugs, challenge yourself. You're not afraid of challenging others, right? You call 'em out, you tell it as it is, you're honest—so you have to be honest with yourself, too. It's only fair!
Channel playful cheekiness. "I used to come across as rude when trying to be sassy and sarcastic. This article showed me how to walk that fine line by being cheeky instead — poking fun while still smiling and keeping things lighthearted. Now, my sassy remarks make people laugh rather than feel insulted." - Jenna F.

Boost confidence with bold energy. "As a shy girl, I was scared to put myself out there. But I tried amping up my energy and confidence like the guide said. I started speaking up more in class, cracking jokes, and made more friends instantly! Everyone loves my new, vibrant personality." - Rachel Z.

Spice up your social circle. "I was afraid my honesty would seem to mean if I acted sassy. But tips here, like being direct while considering feelings, taught me how. Now, I make boring gatherings fun by stirring things up stylishly. My friends appreciate me lightening the mood." - Kate S.

Inspire others to take risks. "This gave me the courage to take social risks, like trying improv comedy on a whim. Bringing bold new hobbies like that into my friend group made everyone want to challenge themselves more, too. We all inspire each other now to be trendsetters." - Violet G.

We want to hear from you! Advice from our readers makes our articles better. If you have a story you’d like to share, tell us here.

14

Try something new.

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Sassy people are dynamic and anything but boring. Since they can find joy and humor in just about anything, there's nothing they're not unwilling to try. So be the one in yoga class that also practices krav maga. Bring your ukulele to choir practice. Let your personality run free.^{[9]
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- Don't be surprised when everyone else starts doing krav maga or playing the uke, too. The sassy ones are often the trendsetters, doing what other people are often too afraid to do.

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Tips

There will always be a few people who will think of you as rude, even if you’re simply being confident or direct! Don't let it get to you or spoil your sass.

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Don't overdo it, or you might be thought rude or a bit of a diva!

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Helpful 80 Not Helpful 8
Some people might get jealous and spread bad rumors about you, but don't let it bring you down. Sassy people don't care about what people think; they just want to have fun!

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Helpful 55 Not Helpful 6