How to Tell if Someone Has BDE

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Learn about the history of Big Dick Energy, plus the 4 telltale traits of every BDE-haver

Co-authored by Dev Murphy, MA

Last Updated: March 7, 2023 Fact Checked

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What is BDE?

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Signs You Have Big Dick Energy

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How to Get BDE

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How did BDE start?

BDE, otherwise known as “Big Dick Energy,” means to be calm, cool, collected, and self-assured—sort of like Anthony Bourdain or Pete Davidson, both of whom are alleged to have inspired the term’s coinage. People with BDE are chill and easygoing, and problems just sort of roll off their back. Everyone wants to have BDE! So…how do you know if you have it (or don’t)? There are a few surefire ways to tell if someone has BDE, and we’ve compiled them for you below. To find out if you’ve got what it takes to be the next Pete Davidson, keep reading!

Things You Should Know

Someone with BDE is easygoing and exudes confidence. They know who they are and what they believe, so they’re not easily shaken by other people’s opinions.
Anyone can have BDE, regardless of gender or genitalia size! All you need is to be self-assured and relaxed.
People with Big Dick Energy tend to be very influential and inspirational to other people. These folks are natural leaders.

Section 1 of 4:

What is BDE?

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To have BDE means to be confident, relaxed, and not easily rattled. If you’ve got BDE, it means you know who you are and you’re happy with that. You’re not starting fights, but you don’t back down when confronted. Simply put, BDE is a quality everyone wants to possess and a trait that’s sure to attract people to you. Who doesn’t love someone who’s self-assured and chill as can be?^{[1]
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- You order a latte and the barista gives you a cappuccino? No biggie. You’ve got BDE. You get turned down for a second date? No sweat, it just wasn’t meant to be. You’ve. Got. BDE.
- Just like silence, your BDE stops existing once you speak its name. BDE is not something you advertise—it’s an energy, a way of life. If you feel the need to brag about it, you probably don’t have it.
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Anyone can have BDE! That’s right, you don’t need a BD to have BDE. For that matter, you don’t even need a D. BDE is gender-neutral: all you need is the confidence, the relaxed demeanor, and the deep sense of self possessed by such BDE-having all-stars like Pete Davidson, Beyonce Knowles, or the late great Anthony Bourdain.^{[2]
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- The opposite of BDE is LDE: Little Dick Energy. As you’d imagine, LDE refers to people who are petty and cowardly, lack self-esteem, and like creating drama. Your ex who broke up with you by ghosting? LDE.
- Though BDE is gender-neutral, the term in itself is rather problematic, as it reinforces the notion of penis supremacy and falsely equates size with value.

Section 2 of 4:

Signs You Have Big Dick Energy

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Your casual confidence and easy-breezy attitude mean you’ve probably got a few admirers. Real leaders don’t set out to become leaders: they become leaders by living their truth and not giving a rat’s behind what anyone else thinks of them. Who wouldn't want to follow that person?^{[3]
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Your actions speak for you. One of the key tenets of creative writing is “show, don’t tell,” and it’s the exact same with BDE. When you’ve got BDE, you don’t go around yammering “I’ve got BDE! I’ve got BDE!” People know you have it by observing your actions. You don’t have to say a darn thing.^{[4]
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- People with BDE aren’t concerned with whether anyone knows they have it. They’re just living their life, doing their thing, and if other people notice, cool! If not, they’re still gonna keep on keeping on.
False pride belongs to the LDE-ers. For you BDE people, real self-confidence hinges on a thorough understanding of yourself and your worth. If you’ve got BDE, you likely think pretty highly of yourself—and with good reason! You’ve got a lot to offer the world, and you know it, buddy.^{[5]
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Because you know yourself so thoroughly, you’re not afraid that someone else may have a bad perception of you—or even that they’ll spread those opinions behind your back. Some rando’s negative energy can’t bring you down, so why worry about it? You’re rocking a sticks-and-stones mindset, bucko. You’re rubber, not glue.^{[6]
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Life is full of disappointments, big and little. If you've got BDE, you don't sweat the small stuff, preferring to go with the flow, to make lemonade from lemons. Big Dick Energy means nothing fazes you too much.^{[7]
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Section 3 of 4:

How to Get BDE

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Practice being confident in who you are. If you don't relate to the traits listed above, and you want to, don't worry: BDE is achievable just by slowly learning to accept yourself, flaws and all. Practice the art of self-love, and you'd be surprised at how quickly peace with the rest of the world will follow. Suddenly, things that bothered you—like not getting that job you were gunning for, or being served spaghetti when you ordered rigatoni—seem like small potatoes. (We don't know about you, but potatoes are some of our favorite foods.)^{[8]
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- Basic self-care always helps elevate your confidence and peace. Get outside regularly, move your body throughout the day, eat well, hydrate. Consider incorporating a positive mantra into your morning routine.
- Socialize often with people who make you feel good about yourself, but make sure to get plenty of alone time too. Spend time developing your interests, whether they be reading, painting, antiquing, gardening, or what have you.
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Learn to manage negative emotions rather than acting out or burying them. You've probably noticed people with BDE don't generally go around making a big show of their negative emotions, but that doesn't mean they don't have them. It might sound counterproductive, but if you want to have BDE, you must learn to feel your feelings and control your response to them, including the negative ones, rather than pushing them down or pretending they don't exist.^{[9]
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- BDE isn't about toxic positivity: it's about understanding that as a human being, you'll encounter lots of disappointment throughout your life, and it'll hurt, but no feeling is final.
- Don't sweat it if you have moments of LDE. We all have bad days, including Pete Davidson (we don't have the proof, but we're positive he does). Just shake it off, and get right back on the horse again!

Section 4 of 4:

How did BDE start?

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After the famous chef passed away in June 2018, Twitter user @imbobswaget ostensibly uttered the word for the first time in recorded history in a tweet acknowledging Bourdain’s own “big dick energy.” As far as social media tributes go, this one wasn’t bad.^{[10]
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In a hastily deleted tweet, Pete’s then-girlfriend Ariana Grande waxed prosaic about her amour’s many positive attributes…including his, uh, healthy endowment. After other Twitter users saw the tweet, the term “Big Dick Energy” was used to describe the sort of easygoing, confident nature Pete Davidson (and Bourdain) express.^{[11]
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