How to Be Mysterious

Co-authored by Nicole Moore

Last Updated: December 20, 2024 Fact Checked

A little bit of mystery can go a long way when building your reputation. By adjusting how you talk and act in public, you can wrap yourself in an air of secrecy that will make you seem more interesting, exciting, and attractive to the people around you.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Communicating with Others

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Speak minimally about yourself. If you’re outgoing and friendly, you might feel inclined to tell everyone your life story. However, mysterious people aren’t open books. Try to minimize the amount of things you disclose about yourself, and when you’re asked personal questions, answer them, but just with a few vague words.
- For example, if someone asks you about a recent breakup you went through, you might say something like, “It just didn’t work out.” This is an acceptable response, but doesn’t reveal anything private about you.
Think before you speak. This goes hand in hand with speaking minimally. Instead of saying every little thing that pops into your head, think about why you want to say what you’re thinking and only verbalize it when you need to. This will give you an air of mystery.^{[1]
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Listen more to others. Those who are mysterious often observe others more than they steal the spotlight. Focus on taking in your surroundings, listening to what others say, and fading into the background a bit. Not only will this make you more mysterious, but it’ll also make you a better conversationalist.^{[2]
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Self-edit your social media posts. When you’re really excited or upset about something, think twice before you post it all over social media. To be mysterious, you have to limit how much you disclose about yourself in person and also online. Keep your activity on social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat low key.^{[3]
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- For example, “like” others’ posts on Facebook from time to time and post an occasional photo with a brief caption.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Acting Mysterious

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Display confidence. Being cool and comfortable is necessary in giving off a mysterious vibe. Having an air of quiet confidence is intriguing to others, and can greatly contribute to your mysterious image because it proves that you know exactly who you are although others may not. Maintain good posture and keep your head held high so others immediately pick up on your confident attitude.
- Confidence and arrogance are different; don’t be rude and brag about how great you are to everyone.
Embrace your uniqueness. Those who are mysterious often march to the beat of their own drum, meaning they don’t just follow the crowd. Instead of wearing trendy clothes and participating in popular activities, rock your own style and embrace all things odd. This may make you appear complex and even difficult to understand to others.^{[4]
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Do unpredictable things. Do things from time to time that others wouldn’t expect you to do. This will make people doubt their perception of who you are. Actions that are seemingly out of character may ignite curiosity in others and make them wonder who you are and what you’re really like.^{[5]
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- For example, if you normally never speak up in class, answer a question that the teacher asks one day with a thoughtful, intelligent answer.
- If you're being mysterious to get a guy's interest, you might say something attention-provoking to him before walking away.
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Conceal your emotions. Mysterious people are hard to read. If you’re really expressive, others will know what you’re feeling without you having to say a word. Be mindful of your facial expressions and try to keep them somewhat neutral so that people aren’t sure what you’re thinking and feeling.
- For example, if you got into a big fight with your sibling or friend earlier in the day, act as if it’s just a normal, uneventful day. Avoid wearing a frown or crying in front of people you interact with throughout the day.
- Try to stay calm, cool, and collected at all times.
- You can also plant a quiet, almost smirking smile on your face when people are talking as if you have some secret inside joke that no one else is aware of.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Making Lifestyle Changes

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The key to being mysterious is to keep yourself as private and unknown as possible. The easiest way to keep people from learning too much about you is to spend less time with them and talk to them less. Spend most of your free time alone and/or with people that know the real you so that you appear distant to others.^{[6]
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Only let a few trusted people know the real you. Carefully choose a few different trustworthy people to completely open up to. Everyone needs at least a couple of people to be close to. Only express your fears, desires, and regrets to these people. When outsiders realize that you only open up to a select few, they may wonder about the real you and wish they could be one of the special people you confide in.^{[7]
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- For example, consider only confiding completely in your mom and your best friend of 5 years.
Having multiple hobbies may make you seem more interesting and versatile to others. It may also add to your mysteriousness if it takes up a lot of free time that you would otherwise socialize during. Additionally, working on your hobbies can help you acquire a sense of pride and purpose that may help you develop a mysterious confidence.

Expert Q&A

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How can I be mysterious and seductive?

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Nicole Moore is a Love and Relationship Coach and the Founder and CEO of Love Works Method, a private coaching and digital course service for women looking to find the right partner. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in body language and helping others take control of their dating life, attract a partner, and build a strong relationship. Nicole has been featured in numerous publications such as Cosmopolitan, Forbes, and USA Today. She also hosts Love Works with Nicole Moore, a podcast for modern women wanting love, dating, and relationship advice. Nicole holds a BA in Public Relations and Spanish from Syracuse University and a Certificate in Personal Coaching from New York University.

Nicole Moore

Love & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Flirting with your eyes is a great way to start! Look into the person's eyes, smile for a second, and then look away coolly as if something else more interesting caught your attention. This can create a bit of confusion and intrigue for the other person, since they'll wonder if you're flirting with them. Repeat this a week and they'll definitely be more interested in you.

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Tips

Don't try too hard to be mysterious if it doesn’t come naturally. People should view this as part of your basic character - who you are at your core - rather than a role you're trying to play.

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Stop talking in the middle of your sentence.

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Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

Don't reveal your innermost thoughts and feelings to many people. Confide completely only in one or two trusted individuals. This selectivity makes people wish they could be one of your confidants.
When asked personal questions, give brief, vague responses instead of oversharing. You can say things like "it's personal" or "I'd rather not get into that." This leaves people curious about you.
Keep your facial expressions neutral rather than wearing your emotions openly. Don't let people easily read how you're feeling. A hint of a smile can add to the mystery.
Occasionally do something unpredictable that's out of character for you. Others will be caught off guard and wonder who the "real" you is. Just don't go overboard.
Cultivate interests and hobbies that occupy a lot of your free time. Having activities that keep you busy and unavailable adds to your elusiveness.

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Warnings

Being mysterious should not equate to being rude and thoughtless about other people. While it's fine to make it clear that there are some topics you won't discuss, don't blatantly ignore people or brush off their questions.

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While being mysterious can be captivating, being constantly absent-minded can be frustrating and off-putting to others. Know the difference.

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