This article was co-authored by Laura Bilotta. Laura Bilotta is a Dating Coach, Matchmaker, and the Founder of Single in the City, her dating and relationship coaching service based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. With over 18 years of experience, she focuses on helping singles date more intentionally, encouraging them to let go of negative patterns so that they can attract the love that they deserve. Her experience, skills, and insights have led to thousands of successfully united over 65,000 singles through events and one-on-one matchmaking coaching sessions. She has been the host of The Dating and Relationship Show on Global News Radio 640 Toronto (AM640) for 6 years and is known as The Hookup Queen of Clubhouse; her popular singles club, Single in the City, has over 95.5K members who regularly join in weekly dating and relationship-focused rooms.
There are 19 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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Being a suave guy can make you seem impressive to the people around you and attractive to the women you meet. In order to become suave, you must first practice looking, acting, and speaking in a sophisticated and classy manner. Gradually, these new actions will become a habit, and you will truly be able to call yourself a suave gentleman. Keep reading to learn more about the habits you should consider developing.
Steps
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Dress to impress. A significant part of being suave is looking the part. As a general rule, wear the best clothes you can get away with for any occasion and choose clothes that fit your body well.[1]
- If you do not know what clothes would be considered “impressive,” try asking for advice. You can ask a stylish man you know, but an even better bet might be to ask for a woman's advice. A woman will know exactly what styles look suave on a man from a woman's perspective.
- If you do not have a girl in your life whom you can ask personally, check out men's fashion sources online that are written by women. One such example would be the Style Girlfriend blog (https://stylegirlfriend.com/).
- If you do not know what clothes would be considered “impressive,” try asking for advice. You can ask a stylish man you know, but an even better bet might be to ask for a woman's advice. A woman will know exactly what styles look suave on a man from a woman's perspective.
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Wear the right clothes for the right occasion. If you want to look suave, you need to know when to play your style up and when to dress it down. Looking too formal can actually work against you on your quest for suaveness.
- A suit will look out of place for a trip to the grocery store, yet it can be very dapper for a night at a high-class restaurant.
- On occasions when the most appropriate outfit is a t-shirt and jeans, make sure that the clothes you wear are clean and free of rips or tears. Well-fitting clothes that are in good shape can be dashing even if they aren't as formal as a suit and tie.
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Find a style icon. If you aren't sure about what a “suave” style looks like, look to the professionals. Think of a gentleman who you consider to be the very epitome of suave and take notes on how he dresses.[2]
- Choosing a style icon from the modern era can help you figure out what clothes are presently considered fashionable for men. If you cannot think of any off the top of your head, go browsing through a magazine or blog like GQ Style (https://www.gq.com/contributor/the-gq-eye) D'Marge (http://www.dmarge.com/), or Inventory (http://www.inventorymagazine.com/updates/).
- You can also take a look at the past to gain insight into how “suave” looks.[3] Even though men of today's era can be fashionable, not all men's fashions are considered “suave". Many male icons from the 1940s and 1950s were considered to be very suave, however. As an added bonus, you can look to these icons as examples of both suave fashion and suave behavior.
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Be the master of your own style. While you can look to others as you develop a suave look, ultimately, you need to develop your own sense of style. Doing so will let you feel more confident in your clothes, which will give you a much more suave ambiance.[4]
- Don’t avert eye contact or apologize for your energy. Whatever your style is, own it. It’ll come off as suave regardless of the style on its own.
EXPERT TIPPersonal StylistAlena Le Blanc is the Personal Stylist and the Founder of Le Blanc Label. Based in San Francisco, California, Le Blanc Label is the leading personal stylist brand for sustainable style transformations. Alena and her team specialize in seasonal wardrobe refreshes, closet edits, styling for special events, travel, photoshoots, and general personal needs. Alena has been featured in podcasts including EMPOWERED BY WMN, I Am Fearless, and Mind Power Meets Mystic. Alena received her BFA in Fashion and Apparel Design from the Academy of Art University.Alena Le Blanc
Personal StylistPut effort into developing your personal style. Identify what's missing in your closet and curate a wardrobe that reflects your personality. Beyond just understanding aesthetics, educate yourself on clothing quality and construction. Curating your style intentionally will be both fulfilling and confidence-boosting.
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Keep an eye on the details. Guys may think that accessories are for women, but a suave gentleman knows how to choose accessories to enhance his look. These little details can take your outfit up an extra notch and round off the entire look.
- In particular, make use of ties, hats, masculine scarves, jackets or blazers, and shoes.
- If you feel a little bolder, you could also try carrying around something old-fashioned like a pocket watch or handkerchief.
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Be hygienic. You cannot be suave if you look (and smell) like you haven't bathed in a week or brushed your teeth in a month. Good hygiene is the polish that makes a suave outfit shine.[5]
- Keep a trim look. The hair on your head and the hair on your face needs to be kept tidy. You do not necessarily need to be clean-shaven, but if you have facial hair of some sort, you need to keep it regularly trimmed and looking its finest. Otherwise, you can be clean while still looking grungy.
- Wear cologne. This is only optional, of course, and the appropriateness of cologne will depend on the occasion. A little spritz before a date can go a long way, for instance. Just make sure that you use a little spritz and do not soak yourself in it, since an overpowering smell will turn people away.[6]
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Master a debonair smile. A well-timed smile can work wonders. Make your smile look as natural as possible, and use it to express self-confidence and an appreciation of the company you're presently keeping.[7]
- Smiling is especially important if you are trying to make a good impression on a woman. Typically speaking, a man has more physical power than the average woman has. Most women know this and will stay away from you if they perceive you to be potentially dangerous or violent. Smiling sends the message that you are friendly and less likely to be a threat.[8]
- Make sure that you are smiling and not leering, though. An appreciative grin or quick flash of your pearly whites is all it takes. If you stare her down hungrily with a huge smile plastered across your face, you could end up seeming more creepy than suave.
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Use open, inviting body language. While there can be some appeal to a guy who seems a little aloof, aloofness and suaveness do not blend well. If you want to be a suave gentleman, you need to use body language that seems warm and welcoming so that the people around you feel comfortable.[9]
- An example of closed body language would be crossing your arms. This puts a physical barrier between you and the person you are speaking to. Likewise, pointing your body or head in a direction pointing away from the person you're talking to conveys the message that your attention is directed, in part, toward something else.[10]
- People revert to closed body language because it feels safer and reduces the risk of rejection. To seem suave, you need to expect and invite people to accept you, which requires open body language.
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Make eye contact. Eye contact lets the people around you know that you're listening and paying attention to them. Plus, focusing on eye contact can prevent your eyes from straying to other areas that you could get in trouble for staring at.[11]
- Direct eye contact can also make you seem more attractive to women. It produces a physiological response that keeps the brain interested, and as a result, you seem more interesting, as well.
- There is such a thing as too much of a good thing, though. If you stare a woman down without blinking or occasionally turning away, you're likely to scare her off.[12]
- A good way to tell if you're doing it right is to gauge a woman's response to your eye contact. If she maintains eye contact back, that's a good sign. It can also be a good sign if she smiles shyly and looks away while stealing glances back into your eyes every now and then. It is a very bad sign if she attempts to put distance in between you and her, though, or if she looks away keeps her eyes from looking back into yours.
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Nod your head. Knowing how to nod in a suave way can take time, and it may not feel natural at first.[13] A quick, affirmative head nod can add a touch of class to your verbal responses, however.
- Nodding is one of the more subtle forms of body language. If you like the way a conversation is going, give a little nod and continue to do so every now and then. If you do not like the way a conversation is heading, stop nodding. Most people, especially women, will pick up on this polite and nonverbal cue.
- In many cases, you will also notice that people, particularly women, tend to get a little more invested in a conversation once you start nodding. This signals to them that you find what they say to be interesting, and the subtlety of this move is what makes it so suave.
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Stand a little closer. When talking to someone you want to impress with your suave demeanor, move in a little closer to make a stronger impression. This little extra bit of personal attention can add a lot of power to your act.[14]
- If you're standing, take a step or two closer. When you're sitting, lean in. If either option feels unnatural for a certain circumstance, you can convey the same attitude simply by leaning your head toward the person you're speaking with.
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Understand the power of touch. A light, friendly touch can be a good way to display the sort of confident, warm demeanor you need to be suave.[15]
- Most people in our society tend to be a little impersonal with people they do not know well. As such, we use very little touch on an everyday basis. Slightly brushing against an appropriate area, like a hand or a shoulder, can offer just enough touch to a touch-starved woman to make her want more.
- Pay attention to body language. If you touch a girl and she tenses up or backs away, she is not comfortable with your touch. If she relaxes or leans into your touch, you're doing it the right way.
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Demonstrate self-confidence. When all else fails, just keep in mind that you need to appear confident to those around you to leave a suave impression. Your body language and behavior should all ooze with self-confidence. Just be careful to avoid seeming narcissistic.[16]
- Along with many of the tips already mentioned, you need to have a confident posture. In other words, no slouching is allowed. Keep your back straight and your shoulders squared.[17]
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Be a gentleman. Another key element of being suave is knowing how to be a gentleman. Never push or pry your way into someone's personal space, and treat others with respect. Nothing screams “suave” more than a man who knows how to treat both himself and others right.[18]
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Enhance your vocabulary. If you want to take it all to the next level, work on enhancing your vocabulary and becoming a more proficient speaker. An enhanced vocabulary gives the impression of intelligence and wit, both of which can be highly attractive qualities.
- A natural way to enhance your vocabulary is to read more. As an added benefit, your knowledge base will increase alongside your vocabulary.
- Speaking with a lot of slang is not recommended. Slang is very “common” in terms of language, but in order to be suave, you need to be more than common.
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Speak naturally. Even though an advanced vocabulary can be a good trait to possess, you should never try to push it. It will be obvious if you are forcing yourself to use words that feel unnatural to you. Instead, opt for a more polished form of your natural way of speaking.
- As a rule of thumb, if you have never heard a word in a sentence or have only heard a word once or twice, you should probably avoid using it.
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Be careful with pet names. You might think that pet names can seem endearing, but many people consider them to be condescending or rude. Wait until after you have developed some sort of personal relationship with a person before using pet names, especially when dealing with women.
- Even after you get to know a girl, you should be careful about pet names. Try it once. If the person you speak to has a positive reaction, you can keep using that pet name, as long as you occasionally use her real name, as well. If you get a negative reaction, you should just stick with the real name all the time.
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Keep the conversation going. Being a good conversationalist goes hand in hand with appearing self-confident and intelligent. A guy who can maintain a conversation in a smooth manner will seem more intriguing and pleasant to be around.[19]
Quiz Pack: We’ve handpicked these quizzes just for you.
Expert Q&A
Tips
Warnings
- Be mindful of how people respond as you put on your suave act. Even if you do everything right, with all the different personality types in the world, there's bound to be at least one person who will not appreciate your smooth behavior. Try not to take it to heart and play it cool instead of getting upset.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/articles/201207/outside-in-dress-impress-yourself
- ↑ https://www.scienceofpeople.com/fashion-psychology/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/open-gently/202006/yes-you-can-be-charming-and-interesting
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-rules-for-developing-an-authentic-sense-of-style/
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/hygiene-basics.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200711/the-hidden-force-fragrance
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201206/there-s-magic-in-your-smile
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/changepower/201605/the-9-superpowers-your-smile
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/body-language
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/body-language
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201404/5-secret-powers-eye-contact
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/he-speaks-she-speaks/201009/the-politics-eye-contact-gender-perspective
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/nonverbal-communication.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/he-speaks-she-speaks/201407/men-and-women-marking-their-territory
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-power-of-touch/
- ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/self-confidence/
- ↑ https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/4485-back-health-and-posture
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/therapy-matters/201104/the-psychology-men
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201712/10-must-know-tips-making-better-conversations