How to Be a Good Daughter

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Learn how to make your parents proud and show them your love

Co-authored by Rebecca Kason, PsyD

Last Updated: December 6, 2024 Approved

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Being Responsible

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Showing Your Love for Them

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Being a Good Daughter as an Adult

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Expert Q&A

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To be a good daughter, you'll need to show your parents that you love and respect them. There is no one way to do this since each family is different, but in general this means that you should listen to your parents, be responsible and help out around the house, and be open, honest, and kind. Whether you're trying to improve your relationship with your parents or hoping to make up for not being on your best behavior, being respectful is the best way to be a good daughter and show your parents how much they mean to you.

How can you be a good daughter?

Being a good daughter can mean several different things, but it usually includes being honest and respectful toward your parents, being kind and loving to your family members, taking responsibility for some chores around the house, and helping out with younger siblings if you have them.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Being Responsible

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Help around the house. Make sure that you do all your chores without your parents having to remind you. Beyond that, take on extra responsibilities, as well. Clean not only your room, but the common areas like the living room and dining room, too. Your parents will appreciate the extra help.^{[1]
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- Don’t take any shortcuts on your chores. Do a good and thorough job.
- Keep your eyes open for small things that you can help with like clearing the table after dinner.
2
Help with younger siblings. If you have younger siblings, assist your parents with them. If you can, change their diapers, fix their bottles, or help out with their homework. If you’re old enough, offer to babysit them so your parents can go out on the town.
- If you are able to stay at home alone, your parents might let you babysit your younger siblings.
- You can ask them by saying “Hey Mom & Dad, since you all let me be at home alone more often now, I wanted to let you know that I don’t mind keeping the kids sometimes if you wanna go out for dinner or a movie.”
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Listen to them. When your parents are giving you advice or just sharing information with you, take heed. They have a lot of experiences that you haven’t had yet, so respect their knowledge. Use their advice in your life so you can avoid mistakes they made.^{[2]
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- For instance, if they tell you follow the speed limits, be sure to drive carefully. If they don’t trust one of your friends, spend less time with that friend.
If your parents set a curfew of 11PM for you, be home by 10:45. Always honor their rules as long as you are living in their home. Show them that you respect them and never ignore them.^{[3]
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If you are still in school, be sure to have your homework done as soon as you can. You don’t want them to always have to remind you. If you need their help, just ask them! Parents typically like to feel needed, even when their kids are older.^{[4]
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Be honest with them. If you’re struggling with something or have done something wrong, tell them. Don’t keep any secrets from them, but instead come to them openly. If you need to tell them something serious, sit them both down to have a talk.^{[5]
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- For instance, perhaps you are failing a class at school. Sit them down and tell them your issue and what you plan to do to fix it. Ask them for help and advice, too.
EXPERT TIP

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist

Transparency is key to a healthy conversation. After all, open communication helps to build and strengthen your bonds with your parents!
Set and follow through with your goals. Setting and following through with goals will show your parents your determination. Tell your parents about your goals and let them support you as you work towards them. By accomplishing your goals, you will be demonstrating to your parents that you are responsible and independent. This will help you to develop a stronger bond with your parents as well.
If you see your parents struggling, offer to help them. If your mom is having a hard time bringing the groceries in, tell her to sit down and go get them all for her. If your parents are having a tough time financially, get a part-time job so you don’t have to ask for money.^{[6]
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Introduce them to your friends and your friends’ parents. Keep your parents involved in your life by letting them meet your friends and offering to introduce them to your friends’ parents as well. It’s important that your parents know who you’re spending most of your time with, so keep them in the know.^{[7]
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- If you are going out to meet friends, let them know who you’ll be with.
- Be sure they meet your significant other, as well.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Showing Your Love for Them

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1
Remember birthdays and anniversaries. It means a lot to parents when their daughters remember important days like birthdays or anniversaries. Set reminders on the calendar in your phone or on your planner to call home or do something special on these days.^{[8]
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- You might take them to dinner, or make them a card, or get them a gift.
Every so often, send your parents texts saying “I love you” or “Hope you’re having a good day.” Though this will only take a few seconds, it will mean a lot to them. You can do this whether you’re still living at home or if you’ve moved away.^{[9]
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3
Buy or make them little gifts. If you’re able, buy your parents gifts. These gifts can be something big like a new TV or something small and thoughtful like a book your dad wants. Either way, giving a gift shows love and thoughtfulness.^{[10]
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- If you can’t afford a gift, make one! There are many DIY gifts you can make that are just as good as buying something.
- Ask them if there is anything you can do for them.
4
Express gratitude. More than gifts or any acts that you do, your parents probably just want to know that you appreciate them. Remind them that you are grateful for all that they have done and continue to do for you.^{[11]
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- Say “Thank you both so much for being wonderful parents to me. You have been such good examples to me and I am grateful to have you as parents.”
5
Spend time with them. Plan some time each week to hang out with your parents. The older you get, the more they will value this time with you. Have a picnic in the park, go out bowling, or just go for long walks after dinner.^{[12]
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- Spend time with them separately, too. Go out for dinner with your mom alone sometimes and with your dad to the movies, for example.
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Reminisce on good memories. Pull out old photo albums and take a look back at all the fun times you’ve had with your parents. Sit with these albums out on the porch or during dinner one day. Use this time to tell them how important those moments were to you.^{[13]
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- For instance, you might say “Wow, I remember that day at the beach! I had so much fun with y’all that day. I’ll never forget how hard we laughed when that crab bit you, Dad.”

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Being a Good Daughter as an Adult

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1
Call your parents weekly. If you are older and living away from home, don’t forget to check in on your parents. Call them up to chat and find out what they’re up to. Update them on important things in your life, too.^{[14]
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- Sometimes you may get busy and not have time to call and talk for a long time. When this happens, try sending your parents a quick text to let them know you love them and are thinking about them. You can also use this as an opportunity to schedule a call over the phone, on Skype, or using FaceTime.
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Talk with them about major decisions. Before making a tough choice, call your folks. They will appreciate you asking them for advice. Also, they might be able to help you make the best decision.^{[15]
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- For instance, you might be deciding on which college to go to or which home to buy.
- Keep them updated about your life in general, not just major decisions. This includes things like how work and school are going, who you’re dating, and shows or movies you’ve enjoyed lately.
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Visit often. If you no longer live with your parents, visit them as often as you can. Try to visit at least once monthly to have dinner or go see a movie. If your parents are elderly, take them out to run errands or go over to their house to clean it.^{[16]
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- If you’re married and have kids, try to take your your family to see your folks at least a few times a year. You can even plan vacations for you all to take together so they can bond with your spouse and kids.
Just like when you were a baby and needed them, know that now they will occasionally need you.^{[17]
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Expert Source

Rebecca Kason, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview. 12 August 2021.} If they are having surgery, show up to be with them. Or maybe they’re receiving an award at work; show up to support. Being a good daughter means being there for them.^{[18]
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Don’t just vacation with your friends or love interests, vacation with your folks, too! Plan a fun beach day for the three of you or an even longer trip if you’re able. Spend quality time with them and be the best daughter ever!^{[19]
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Your parents have probably sat through so many cartoons and amusement parks that they didn’t necessarily enjoy just for you. Return the favor for them. You might not like art museums, but if they make your mom smile, go with her. Or maybe you find birdwatching boring, but if your dad loves it, do it for him.

Expert Q&A

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Question

How do I support my emotional parents?

Rebecca Kason, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Rebecca Kason is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist licensed in both New York and New Jersey. She specializes in adolescent mental health, dialectical behavior therapy, and cognitive-behavioral therapy. Dr. Kason treats clients struggling with emotional dysregulation, behavioral disorders, interpersonal difficulty, family conflict, anxiety, depression, and phobias. She holds a Bachelor's degree in Psychology from The University of Delaware and a Master's degree in Applied Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) in Clinical Psychology from Long Island University. Dr. Kason completed an APA accredited internship at Mount Sinai Services. She is a member of the American Psychological Association and Association for Behavior and Cognitive Therapy.

Rebecca Kason, PsyD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Try to validate their emotions. This doesn't necessarily mean that you agree with them—just that you find them understandable.

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Question

Why do I need to be good?

Tasha Rube, LMSW
Licensed Master Social Worker
Tasha Rube is a Licensed Social Worker based in Kansas City, Kansas. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kansas. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Missouri in 2014.

Tasha Rube, LMSW

Licensed Master Social Worker

Expert Answer

Being good allows you to learn to have and express your sense of humanity. It is a way to show yourself and others your willingness to see beyond your own needs and desires, and also allow yourself to be a part of something bigger than yourself. This will help you build a sense of connection to not only your parents, but also to other family, friends, and people in general.

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Question

How can I make my mother feel more loved?

Tasha Rube, LMSW
Licensed Master Social Worker
Tasha Rube is a Licensed Social Worker based in Kansas City, Kansas. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kansas. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Missouri in 2014.

Tasha Rube, LMSW

Licensed Master Social Worker

Expert Answer

To start, we can’t ‘make’ someone feel one way or another. That being said, she may more likely feel love from you and others if you spend quality time with her. When you visit her, ensure that all distractions are turned off so you can provide her with your full attention (i.e., phones, radios, televisions, etc.). Dedicate that special time just for her.

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Tips

Try not ot get caught up in the idea of being a "perfect daughter." There is no right or wrong way to show love and support to your parents!

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Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

Realize that your parents have been through things that you may not have. Everyone goes through different things in different ways, and you may be learning things that they already know. They just want to help and see you at your best!
Never be embarrassed of your parents in front of your friends; there is no reason to be embarrassed! Your parents want the best for you.

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