How to Make Your Parents Happy

Co-authored by Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed.

Last Updated: November 2, 2024 Fact Checked

Your parents care very much for you, and you should do what you can to make them happy. Learn what you can do to be considerate of them. Below are some suggestions for you depending on your age and where you are in life.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

As a Preteen or a Teenager

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1
Do your chores. This is a great way to show your parents you care about their concerns. Your parents care about the way your home looks, and being active in helping them maintain that home will make them happy. It will also help keep peace in your home. This will also impact your parents well-being.
- Remember—helping out is an important part of being part of a family. ^{[1]
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  Expert Source
  
  Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed.
  Parent Educator & Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 23 June 2021.}
- Do your chores without being asked to. That eagerness to help will be much appreciated, and will earn you brownie points with your parents.
- Do more than you are asked. If your daily chore is to sweep the kitchen, start sweeping the hall as well. If you see something needs to be done, go ahead and do it. That will lighten the burden off of your parents and really mean something to them.
- Help your parents out when you see them working around the house. If your dad is raking the leaves, go grab a rake and join him. If your mom is mopping the floor, take the mop from her and let her get a break. Your parents are doing a lot, and it would make them happy if you were considerate of all that they do.
2
Do well in school. Show up every day and dedicate yourself to your studies. Parents want to be proud of your achievements, and giving them something to be proud of will make them very happy. You do not have to be a straight A student, but just showing that you care about school will go a long way in their book.^{[2]
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American Psychological Association
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- Do not skip school. This could create a world of problems for yourself and your parents. If you have to miss for something, clear it with your parents first before you miss a day or a few hours of class.
- Let them know if you are struggling in a subject. It is better to be honest and get the help that you need instead of hiding it or just giving up. This shows maturity and that you really care about your performance at school.
- Be good in class. You can be a smart, well-graded student and still have issues with behavior. Make sure your teachers only have good things to say about you. This will make your parents happy since you are taking their parenting to heart.
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3
Excel in an extracurricular. Find out what you are good at, and join a club or team that supports that endeavor. It is good to have hobbies, and having something that your parents can hang on the wall like a certificate or ribbon will bring them much happiness.
- Remember that you do not have to be the best. Do your personal best and push yourself to grow in whatever you are doing, but do not try and be perfect. Your parents will be happy just knowing you are trying your hardest.
- Try out multiple things. One year you might go out for the volleyball team and not make it. Try and join the art club. You might find your passion in something unexpected. Being open-minded will help you figure out what you like best. If you need help finding a hobby, check out https://www.wikihow.com/Find-a-Hobby.
4
Be obedient. Do what your parents tell you to do when they ask you to do it. This shows your parents you respect them and their authority. Knowing they have this respect from you will surely make them happy.^{[3]
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- Do not talk back or disrespect them. If you cannot do something, let them know in a calm manner.
- Communicate with your parents if something changes. If you have a set curfew and you cannot make it or would like to stay out, let them know ahead of time instead of just disobeying.
- Always listen. Parents have reasons why they tell you to do things or set rules. Listening to them will help you to understand their reasoning. If you have questions, just ask them and be open to their perspective.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

As An Adult at Home

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Respect your parents. If you are an adult living at home, it can be difficult to balance your independence with your parents authority. Make it easier on yourself by honoring that they have the final say within their own house. This will ease any tension and keep your parents happy.^{[4]
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- Help them around the house. You are an adult and should pull your own weight.^{[5]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed.
  Parent Educator & Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 23 June 2021.} Wash clothes, do yard work, or clean up the kitchen without having to be told.
- Respect house rules. If you know your parents would be uncomfortable with you doing something in the house, then opt to not do it. If they do not like your significant other staying over, then do not invite he or she over after a date. If they do not like alcohol in the house, only drink when you are not home, etc.
2
Avoid arguments. You will not always agree with your parents way of doing things, but you must respect it. Do not force your way of doing things on them in their own home. This will just create problems. If you feel yourself getting frustrated, leave the situation before it escalates.^{[6]
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- Talk to you parents after you have cooled off. If you try and talk to them during the heat of the moment, it could become a big problem. Wait until everyone has calmed down before you try and resolve any problems.
- Take responsibility for your wrongs. It is easy to blame the other person for doing something to you, but you also must consider how you contributed to the problem. You have to be mature and own up to your mistakes. Being able to do this will keep a happy relationship between you and your parents.
EXPERT TIP

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist

Talk to your parents with confidence, even in an argument. Conflicts or disagreements with your parents can get heated, but instead of yelling, try a calmer approach. Think about what you want to say, take a deep breath, and express it clearly and maturely.
3
Give them space. Your parents spent many years raising you. Now, they probably want some time to themselves. A healthy sense of space from you will keep your parents happy while parenting you as an adult. If they are in a main room watching TV, let them have their alone time. Go to your room and shut the door so they can have their full privacy.^{[7]
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- Get out the house so they can have it to themselves. Being able to relax when nobody is around is a treat that they might not be given often. Stay overnight at a friend’s house to give them space to do things they might not be comfortable doing with you around.
4
Befriend them. You are at a different time in your life, as are your parents. As an adult, you can enjoy a relationship with your parents that is not centered around them caring for you, but in getting to know each other on an adult level. Talk to your parents and learn more about them and let down your guard as well. Getting to know you this way will make them happy.
- Try activities with them you would not have done as a child, like watching R-rated movies that can stimulate conversation or making them dinner. Since you live together, you will have plenty of time to spend together. Try and make it as fun as possible.
- Learn to confide in them. As a teen, telling your parents about anything in your life probably seemed embarrassing and daunting. As an adult, they will be able to offer you advice that will be quite useful. Your parents have experienced what you are going through and care deeply about you. Letting them be of help will keep them close and make them happy.
- Look at https://www.wikihow.com/Be-Friends-with-Your-Parents if you need more suggestions.
5
Apologize when you step out of line. Nobody is perfect, and living at home with your parents as an adult might pose some problems. You might do or say something you should not. Always apologize. Your parents do not expect you to always do everything right, and being able to own up to what you did wrong will show character and make them happy.^{[8]
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- Do not be defensive. Though you might have had your reasons for doing what you did, it does not make it right. Do not defend yourself to the point where you are not able to learn from your mistakes.
- Be sincere. Showing that you are truly sorry and not just saying it because you have to will go a long way in making your parents feel as if you understand them. That always makes for a happier relationship.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

As an Adult Who has Moved Out

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1
Call your parents regularly. Your parents still want to talk to you. Call them to see how they are doing. Fill them in on your life. This gesture shows them that you care and understand that they care about you. It will surely brighten their day to hear from you.
- If you are busy, set up a weekly time for you to talk to them. Having a schedule will make it easier for you to remember that you need to touch base.
- Text them. More and more parents are picking up their cell phones and texting. Sending them a quick, “How are you?” or funny picture during the day will let them know they are on your mind and still important in our life.
- If you talk to one parent more than the other, see if you can talk to them both at the same time. That way, you can all connect at once and it will save everyone some time.
2
Go visit them. There is nothing like face-to-face interaction with people. Your parents would love to give you hugs and see your expressions as you talk. Take time to go and sit down with them and you will see them smile.
- If you live far away, video message. Buy a webcam if you do not have one on your computer, or download an app to your phone or tablet if it has a camera. Help your parents to install a program if they do not know how.
- Take them out and treat them. Though a house visit is nice, try and take your parents out to keep things interesting. Try activities with them that you think they would enjoy like joining classes or finding events around your communities.^{[9]
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3
Make time to help them do activities. Not everyone’s parents are mobile, or maybe they no longer enjoy driving alone. Pick them up and take them to their appointments, the store, or different activities they might be apart of. This will be much appreciated by them and give you time to spend together. Both of those will make your parents happy.
- Turn off the radio if you are in the car. Use this as a time to connect with your parents by talking and catching up on your lives. Your parents will enjoy the conversation with you and it will help you to bond on a more mature level.
- Make a day of it. Perhaps your mother or father has a few stops. Take them to every place, and maybe treat them to lunch or dinner. This is a great opportunity to spend time with each other and it would make your parents very happy if you take advantage of that.
4
Send them letters. If you do not live near your parents, or even if you do, take time to write out a thoughtful letter and put it in the mail. It is quick to call them, but putting the thought into a hand-written note will be a nice surprise for them. If you need help writing a letter, look at https://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Friendly-Letter for suggestions.
- Email them if they are online. This is always a great way to contact your parents. Though it is not as personal as a letter, it is still thoughtful and would make them very happy to know that you are thinking about them.
- Send pictures in your letters. That way, they can see your face and hang onto the image. If you have children or other family members you live with, send pictures of them as well. This will delight your parents to see how everyone is doing and how the children have grown.
- Have your kids write letters or make pictures to send them. Your parents would love to hear from their grandkids. It would definitely make them happy to receive a handwritten note or drawing from your children.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

At Any Age

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1
Give them gifts. Receiving a gift always makes someone happy. That gesture of kindness, even when small, is enough to make someone’s day. Do this for your parents and see how happy it makes them.
- Be on the lookout for small tokens if big gifts are out of your price range. Coming home with their favorite candy bar from a trip to the store is still meaningful and will make them feel special.
- If you are out and see something your parent might like, buy it for them if you can afford it. If your mother likes clothes and you see a blouse that would flatter her, surprise her with the shirt even if there is no occasion.
- Make them a gift. Hand-crafted presents are always nice. If you can knit, try making your dad a scarf that matches his winter coat or if you are great cook, make them a cake and take it over their house. Put in that extra effort to make sure they know they are loved.
2
Remember their birthdays. Give them a call or visit them on their birthday. Make sure they feel as if their day means as much to you as it does to them. It is important to show that you want your parents to feel as if they matter to you. That will surely make them happy.
- Give them something personal to them. If you dad likes golf, buy him a free day at the course. Get your mother a gift card to a nice restaurant if she likes to eat out. Tailor the gifts to show that you really know your parents and want to make them happy.
- Make it more than one day of celebrating. An entire birthday weekend of fun activities and attention is a great way to let your parents know you truly care and want to make them feel special.
- Be creative. Nobody likes to get the same gift every year. Pay attention to your parents current interests. If your mom is starting to drink coffee in the morning, get her a coffee maker one year. Always getting her a sweater would be boring, and the variety would show that you pay attention to her.
3
Treat them on Mother’s or Father’s Day. Do your best to make sure they are honored on this day. Go to church with them, take them out to eat, buy them a gift, or give them a card with special words in it. Let them know you are proud to be their son or daughter, you love them, and they are important to you. Making them feel this way will bring them great happiness.
- If you cannot be with them on that day, send them a gift in the mail. Fruit arrangements or food baskets are a yummy way of showing your love from far away.
- Make sure your children acknowledge their grandparents. Mother’s and Father’s Day are also for the grandkids. Get them involved so that the whole family is honoring your parents.
4
Be thoughtful of their thoughts and feelings. Your parents are people, too. They want to be treated with thoughtfulness and consideration, same as you do.
- If you are an older child, talk to your parents about some problems they may be experiencing. Offering emotional support should not be a one-way street. If your mother is worried about a health issue or your father has stress at work, hear them out and offer them encouragement and any advice you think is helpful.
- Be appreciative of them. Chances are, your parents do a lot for you and you should be grateful of that. Let them know that appreciate all that they do. Tell them regularly and show it in how you treat them.
- Do not take advantage of them. It is easy to have a bad attitude with your parents, but it does not make them feel happy when you do so. Do not take advantage of their kindness, patience, and generosity with you. That will cause tension in your relationship.

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What should I give my parents as a gift?

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A homemade gift is a really nice way to let your parents know that you appreciate them. For example, homemade food or something you knitted or built. It's just thoughtful and from the heart!

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Ask your parents what you can do to help them when they seem to be having a hard time.

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You might not feel as if your parents care about your happiness. They certainly do but have a different way of showing it. Keep at trying to make them happy.

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Be sure to tell them that you love them. That will help them to feel special.

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