11 Steps to Convince Your Girlfriend to Send Pictures

Co-authored by Jacqueline Hellyer and Dan Hickey

Last Updated: September 22, 2023 Fact Checked

Flirtatious sexting and swapping spicy photos are fun ways to keep the spark alive with your girlfriend. Asking her to send you a racy picture can be a fun and sexy process if you get creative and steer clear of the cliché “send nudes?” text (which, it must be said, never works). Sending and receiving pictures also involves trust, consent, and respect for boundaries between both partners. If you’re ready to up your sexting game and start exchanging naughty photos, keep reading for the best ways to start your conversation and get her in the mood to send you a picture.

1

Strike up a normal text conversation.

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Since you’re in a relationship, you can cut to the chase a little bit. Open with a PG selfie (no nudity or suggestive poses. Yet…) or a playful, almost horny comment like “I wish we were laying in bed together” or “What would you be doing to me if we were together right now?” A strong opener is still important even when you’re dating.^{[1]
X
Research source} Try an opener like:
- Adding a caption that says “miss me? ;)” to your selfie.
- Saying “Thinking about you 😊” to get her in a warm, receptive mood.
- Asking a playful question like “Are you thinking about last night as much as I am?”

2

Compliment her.

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You’ve got to make your girlfriend feel attractive and wanted. Compliment her on something specific and non-sexual at first, like her killer smile or her sparkling eyes. Don’t be afraid to get a little sappy here. You don’t want her to think you’re only texting her for one reason.^{[2]
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Research source} Try telling her what you miss or love about her:
- “I miss the sound of your voice. It’s so quiet over here.”
- “I miss how your hair hits me in the face when you try to make a ponytail in bed.”
- “I love how beautiful you look in your nursing scrubs.”

3

Ask for a selfie or a PG photo first.

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After you initiate the conversation, warm up to the NSFW content. If you opened with a selfie, there’s a good chance she’ll respond with one. If not, send her something like “I’d love to see your smile right now” or “show me that face you make when someone mispronounces gruyère.” These cute photos will start shifting the mood towards more risqué pics later.^{[3]
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Research source}
- Keep her circumstances in mind when you ask for a picture. If she’s out fire fighting or teaching a class full of 2nd graders, she probably doesn’t have time to check your text and snap a photo.
- If she can’t or won’t send a picture at this stage, continue your usual conversation or try again another time when she’s less busy or in a flirtier mood.

4

Wait for the right time to shift the conversation.

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This usually comes after casually chatting for a few hours. Another good time is the late evening as you’re both winding down and getting ready for bed. The fun comes from slowly working your way up to X-rated pics. If she’s actively participating in or leading the racy texts, you’re on the right track.^{[4]
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Research source}
- It’s better to wade through the mundane “How’s your day going?” texts for a while and get a sexy reward later than it is to get suggestive too soon and ruin your shot. Patience is a virtue!
- If she’s not giving you any signs that she wants to move into hotter territory, don’t force it. Try again another time.

5

Start dirty talking to get her in the mood.

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Playful sexting is a great way to instigate a rated-R photoshoot later. Start putting sexy thoughts in her head with funny innuendos or witty replies to her texts. Keep it playful and focus on her, not on the photos you hope to get later.^{[5]
X
Research source} Try something like:
- “You’ve been working overtime. Maybe I should come meet you in the break room…”
- ”I’m all alone in this big bed of mine. What should I do?”
- Sending a suggestive meme or GIF to keep things light (just make sure to keep it classy).

6

Send her a suggestive photo of yourself.

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This is another way to heat up the conversation if sexting isn’t your thing. Sending the first photo does double duty in building a little trust and vulnerability while also getting her hot under the collar. Keep it subtle—you’re not aiming to be totally explicit just yet. Some go-to photos might be:
- A gym selfie with a little skin or muscle showing
- The classic “shower snap.” Try a selfie in the shower (if you have a water-proof phone case) or a photo of you in your towel afterwards with a cheeky caption like “all clean!”
- The cliché “it’s so warm in my apartment that I can’t even wear a shirt” text followed by a shirtless picture of you doing an everyday activity.

7

Ask if she’s comfortable sharing more.

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After she sends a selfie or some dirty talk, move the conversation faster. The clearest approach is to simply ask, “Are you comfortable sharing a more intimate photo?” or “I’d love for you to show me more, if you want.” If she’s down, she’ll tell you or send you another pic. ^{[6]
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Research source}
- If you’re dirty talking, you can try prompting her for a racier photo with lines like “Mm, show me more,” “Now we’re heating up,” or “Oh yeah?”
- If you’re not sure what her photo-sharing boundaries are, just ask! Say something like, “Are you OK with sending revealing pics?” or “Are there certain things you’re unwilling to show in a photo?”
- This is also a good time to clarify if she’s open to receiving your dirty pictures (she may not be).
- Make sure you're always communicating with her so you're both on the same page.^{[7]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Jacqueline Hellyer
  Licensed Psychosexual Therapist
  
  Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.}

8

Send an affirming reply to her photos.

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She needs to know you’re attracted to and appreciative of her. Compliment her without being vulgar (no eggplant emojis!) or objectifying her. Making demands about different poses or body parts you want to see can also be a big turn off.^{[8]
X
Research source} Reply quickly with a thoughtful and sexy comment so you don’t leave her hanging, like:
- ”The only thing that would make that photo better is me in there with you.”
- ”You’re so sexy 🔥 I can’t wait until I get to see this in person later.”
- ”I can’t believe I get to date such a gorgeous girl 😍”

9

Tell her you’ll delete the photo later.

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Your girlfriend needs to trust you before she shares a photo. A major concern a lot of women have is the possibility that their photo will leak or get shown to someone besides their partner. Tell her you’ll delete the photos when your conversation is done and then follow through.^{[9]
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- Try using a platform like Snapchat where photos are automatically deleted after a few seconds (and the sender is notified if a screenshot is taken).
- It’s unkind and inappropriate (and in some cases illegal) to share a person’s nudes without their consent. If they find out, the person may stop sending them to you in the best case scenario, and break up with you in the worst.

10

Only send a dick pic if she asks or consents to one.

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It can’t be said enough. It’s never a good look unless you and your girlfriend have already established it’s OK. Your girlfriend might send you a sexy photo to feel empowered and confident or to attract and arouse you. That doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to see your privates in return.^{[10]
X
Research source} There are ways to ask her for consent without killing the mood, like:
- “Do you want to see what you’ve done to me?”
- “Well now I have a huge problem on my hands. Can I show you?”
- ”Can I show you what that picture you sent just did to me?”

11

Respect her boundaries if she doesn’t want to send a photo.

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The decision to send a nude is entirely up to her. If she shoots down your request, acknowledge her feelings, apologize if necessary, and move on without being pushy or rude. There’s a chance she’ll change her mind or open up to the idea later if you stay calm and respectful.^{[11]
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Research source} Try something like:
- ”No problem. I just thought it might be something fun to try in our relationship. Sorry to offend you.”
- ”I understand. Personally I like sending sexy photos here and there. Is it OK to send those to you even if you don’t want to send one back?”
- ”I respect your choice. Can’t wait to see you later :)”

Community Q&A

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Question

She asked me if I wanted a naked pic of her? What does that mean?

Tara Burke

Top Answerer

It likely means she is turned on, and/or wants to turn you on. She’s asked to make sure you would be comfortable with it. Sharing pictures may be a way for her to feel sexy or please you. If you don’t want her to or are afraid she’s offered only to please you (I.e. she’s only offering because she thinks it what you want), politely decline.

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Tips

Remember, it’s up to her whether or not she shares a photo. No one is entitled to another person’s nude photos, regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not.

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Have a conversation with your girlfriend to establish consent around sending and receiving photos. The sexting process will be more fun and intimate if you’re both operating with the same understanding.

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Warnings

In the US, it’s illegal to share or post someone’s naked photos without their consent in 37 states and Washington, D.C. Sentences include varying fines and jail time.

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It is illegal to own or save photographs of anyone under the age of 18, even if you are also under 18.^{[12]
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