How to Send Dirty Texts

Make them enjoy you and miss you, even if you're miles apart

Co-authored by Hardy Jean

Last Updated: October 1, 2024

Sending dirty texts, or sexting, is the perfect way to turn on your love interest and to take things to the next level -- as long as you send them to the right person at the right time. If you want to know how to send a dirty text that will excite your conversational partner as soon as you hit the "send" button, just follow these steps.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Initiating a Sexy Texting Session

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1
Test the waters. Even if you've been dating a girl or guy for months, it may turn out that this isn't the type of communication that she or he is comfortable with. For that reason, it's important to test the waters before you get into raunchy or explicit messaging and completely throw the person off. Start with a simple greeting like, "hey, baby" or "hey, sexy," and see how the person responds.
- If you're not too explicit at first, you can also just play it off and deny that you were even trying to send a sexy text if the person gets angry or accuses you of trying to start something.
- Just start with a sexual undertone. If you just say, "What's up?" or "How are you?" it'll be more difficult to transition to a sexy mindset. It's better to set the tone right away so the person knows what to expect.
- You can also say, "I'm a little bored. I could use some excitement in my life."
- Try this: "I saw a girl who looked just like you in this movie I was watching. She was really hot -- but you're even hotter."
2
Wait for the person to respond in a sexy way. Once the person on the other end responds to the opening text in a favorable manner, it's time to play ball. If you see that the person is also up for dirty or sexy texting and is game, you can start to increase the sexual content of your texts -- but only by a little bit. Have patience as the person gets back to you. If it takes too long, you may not be in the mood anymore, and you can have fun another day.
- Don't keep sending dirty texts if you get no response. If the person comes back to his or her phone to a slew of dirty text messages, that will just look weird.
- If the person isn't into it, don't try to pursue it. Just apologize quickly and move on with your day -- there's no need to make a big production of it.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Keeping it Going

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1
Up the ante. Continue to send dirty texts but make them more explicit. You can even start to suggest that you can come over to put your dirty words into action. If the girl you're texting says she's studying sex ed, you can ask if you can come over for a "hands on" tutorial. Here are some other things you can say to up the ante:
- "Hang on, let me put on some clothes."
- "It's so hot in here. I'm going to take my shirt off."
- "What are you wearing on this balmy night?"
- "What if I showed you what I meant?"
- "Can you guess the color of my underwear?"
2
If the person responds favorably, raise the stakes even higher. If you see that the person you're texting loves the dirty texts and maybe even wants to connect in person, then you can make the conversation even more explicit. You can talk about actually seeing the person you're texting, or about touching yourself or taking off your clothes. Here are some things you can say:
- "I took off all my clothes. I'm just lying under a blanket now."
- "I'd text you, but I'd rather close my eyes and imagine you were here."
- "What would you do if you were next to me?"
- "It's freezing in here. Why don't you come keep me warm?"
- "Sorry it's taking a while to text you back. My hands are a little busy."
3
Get creative. If both you and the other person are really into the dirty texting, then you can keep going until you start touching yourselves or plan to meet up. Whatever happens, bring some imagination and creativity into your texting so the person on the other end doesn't get bored. Be as detailed and descriptive as you can, and respond quickly so the other person knows she has all of your attention. Here are a few more things you could say:
- "If you were here, I'd start stroking your hair. But then I'd start stroking something else..."
- "I'm so excited I can barely text."
- "I'm wearing this tight shirt. Do you want me to take it off for you?"
- "I'm taking off your belt -- I'm thinking about whipping you with it..."
- "I just got out of the shower, so my hair is soaking wet. Do you have a towel?"

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Finishing Strong

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1
Have fun with mutual masturbation. If the dirty texting is going in the right direction, then you and your texting partner may slowly be removing your clothes and starting to touch yourselves. If both people are into it, then this can be a fun and stimulating activity. Just tell each other what you're doing to each other, what you're doing to yourselves, and what you would do if you were together.
- All you have to do is let loose and talk dirty until you've both orgasmed.
- You can say, "I want you to [verb] my [body part]." This can make the sexy experience feel more real.
- Tell the person how your body feels during the exchange -- describe every little sensation, even what you're feeling in your toes.
2
See the person you're texting. Mutual masturbation is fun, but so is hooking up in person. If the conversation is going in that direction, then you can ask the person if she wants you to come over, or invite her over to your place. If it's clear that this is what the dirty texting is building towards, then you can suggest that the person should come over, and then be more explicit if you have to. Here are some things you can say:
- "I'm trying to picture how hot you look, but I'd rather just see you in person."
- "Why don't you come climb into bed next to me? I want to see if it's as good as I'm imagining it to be."
- "I guessed the color of your underwear. But how will I know if I was right?"
- "Why don't we continue this in person? I want to use my hands for something other than texting."
- "Why don't I drop in on you? I'll be in the neighborhood anyway -- if you want me to be."
3
End the exchange. Whether you're ending the exchange because you're coming over to see the person, or because you both got what you wanted, you should be suave when you end things. You can also just end the exchange because you've both had some fun with dirty texting and it's time to go. Whatever the reason, you should be smooth and should continue to set a sexy tone even at the end.
- Don't just say, "Bye!" or "See ya!" when you're done texting. Say, "I can't wait to text you again soon." Or, "I'll get in touch with you on another hot, lonely night." Make the person want to hear more from you.
- Don't switch to a non-sexy topic at the end of the conversation. Don't say, "By the way, are you going to Kelley's birthday party tomorrow?" Save that question for another time.
- If you're ending the conversation because you're going to see the person, just say, "I can't wait to continue this in person" and make your way over to her place to take your dirty texting to a physical level.

Join the Discussion...

Basic pointers how to dirty talk?

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WikiLemmingFlyer757

I (m33) have been with my gf (f34) for 2 years now. We both want to spice things up in the bedroom a little more with some dirty talk, but neithe... Read More

WikiAntelopeKeeper764

You'll get better and more comfortable as you go, I promise. :) A good "beginner-friendly" technique is asking her what she wants you to do to he... Read More

WikiGladeJumper104

Communication is key here! Different people like different things. Talk to your partner about if there are certain names or dynamics that especia... Read More

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What if the girl blocks you?

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Don't pursue it further. If she blocked you, she wants no further contact and you should respect her wishes.

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What if the girl is not interested?

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If the girl isn't interested, don't push it any farther. You might come across as a creep.

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How can I sext someone that I'm not dating?

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Start off slowly, joking flirtatiously, and see if things develop from there. Approach cautiously, as you don't want to come across as creepy.

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Girls generally like hearing/reading sensual/romantic things. Guys usually are thrilled when you take charge and say what you would do to them.

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Know your audience. You shouldn't send a dirty text to a girl you just met or someone whose number you got the night before. Not everyone is into dirty texting and almost no one is into dirty texting at the beginning of a relationship, so make sure that you're texting someone who is comfortable with this type of risqué communication and who wouldn't be shocked to be receiving this type of message from you. The person should either be someone you're already dating, or someone who is pretty sexually forward and up for anything.

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Pick the right time. Even if you know your recipient loves a good dirty text, you should send the text at a time when you know the person is free. If the person is working or taking a test, he or she may not be so receptive to your advances. And if you want the sexy texts to lead to some in-person contact, then you should make sure the person doesn't have something important to do an hour after you send the text. Typically, the best time to send a sexy text is in the evening or at night, when the person is alone, getting bored, and thinking about you. The night is also just a sexier time.

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Keep their personal taste in mind. It helps if you ask about what they like. My boyfriend and I played truth or dare and ended up figuring out each others tastes and likes that way. Don't force something if you're not sure that they like it!
You could try role playing. For example, pretend that you're a police man pulling your significant other over. Tell her you need to pat her down and then use that as a chance to rub all over her body to get things started.

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Warnings

If the other person tells you to stop, stop. Severe or repeated sexual messages can constitute sexual harassment.

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Remember that texts can be locked, and used for blackmail. Don't send flirty texts to people you're not into, because people can read the user's messages if the phone is ever left unguarded and you wouldn't want to risk it on someone you don't like.

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Start slowly, don't be a creep. Always test their mood.

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Beware: since cell phones are mobile, anyone can have anyone's cell phone, and may think that it funny to send dirty messages to the cell phone's owners contacts. So if the hottest guy/chick is sexting you, it is most likely a joke.

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