How to Date Girls

Co-authored by Collette Gee

Last Updated: December 15, 2024 Fact Checked

Going on dates with girls is fun and exciting, but it can also be nerve-wracking! Just remember that everyone gets nervous on dates, and the important thing is to be yourself, have fun, and see if there's a connection (if there's not, no biggie—there are plenty of fish in the sea). To help you have the best time possible going on dates with girls, we've put together some pro-level dating tips. From advice on making a strong first impression to ways to connect and have fun on your date, we've got you covered.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Being Your Best

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Project confidence. One of the most attractive qualities to women is palpable confidence. Girls will be interested in you if you seem to have a lot going on: you're involved in activities, you have friends, you speak your opinion, and you have long-term goals.^{[1]
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- Confidence can stem from a lot of places. You don't have to be a basketball star to attract a girl; just get involved in something that shows you at your best. What activity allows you to shine?
- There's a big difference between confidence and arrogance. Confident people are admired by others for their talent, but also their grace and humility. If you're confident in yourself, you won't find the need to brag about it.
Don't pretend to be someone you aren't - girls will be able to see right through it. There's nothing wrong with reading up on a band you know a girl likes so you can have a conversation about it later, but don't pretend you know how to play the guitar unless you're prepared to play her a song at a moment's notice. Be real, and you won't have to lie.^{[2]
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Every girl has different preferences, or “types,” but don't worry too much about trying to wear all the latest trends. Dress appropriately for the situation - no sleeveless shirts at a martini bar, for example - and don't overdo it with the cologne.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Collette Gee
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist

Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.}^{[4]
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Research source} If you show up to a party dressed at your personal best and feeling confident, you'll act that way - and there's a good chance the girl you're trying to impress will forget she even has a type.

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Getting to Know Her on a Deeper Level

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Don't dwell too much on a girl's appearance. Everyone likes receiving compliments, especially when they've obviously gone out of their way to dress up and look good, but that shouldn't be the main topic of conversation. Give the girl you'd like to date a chance to be more than the cute dress and heels she's wearing.^{[5]
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- Especially avoid making sexual comments about a girl's appearance when you're trying to date her. Stick to tasteful comments about her clothes, hair, or smile.
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Be a sincere conversationalist. Avoid pick up lines, because they don't sound sincere. When you're talking to a girl, say something you actually mean. When she responds, don't just pretend to listen, really listen, and try to move the conversation to a place that feels “real.”
- Of course, the conversation should be appropriate for the setting. If you're in a noisy bar, the girl you're chatting up might not be in the mood to talk about personal or philosophical subjects. Still, it should be possible to say something meaningful about the music, the crowd, or the feel of the evening that shows her you're enjoying the moment with her.
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Let her get comfortable. When you've just met a girl and you want to ask her on a date, it's very important that she feels comfortable being herself with you. Enjoy her quirks and unique qualities, and try not to be judgmental.
- If you say something critical, even in jest, it could come off the wrong way and make her close up.
- Ask a lot of questions and follow up with comments that let her know you're listening and care about what she's saying.
- Joke around to keep things fun, but avoid making fun of the girl, her friends, her family, or anything else that hurt her feelings this early in the game.

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Being a Good Date

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Put effort into your first date. Take her somewhere special. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it should be clear you put some thought into it.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Collette Gee
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist

Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.} Share your favorite restaurant with her, or take her to a beautiful scenic spot for a picnic. If you know she likes a particular sports team, buy tickets to a game.^{[7]
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- Reader Poll: We asked 534 wikiHow readers, and 52% of them agreed that a coffee shop is the best place to have a first date. [Take Poll]
Don't focus too much on the structure of the date. Instead, try to genuinely have a good time getting to know someone you've recently met. Think about all you have to learn about her, and all she has to learn about you. If you enjoy her company now, chances are she's enjoying yours, too.
Whether you place your hand on her back while you're waiting in line for tickets, hold hands during a movie, or go back to your place after dinner, some kind of physical touch will increase the intimacy you feel with the girl you're dating. Just make sure it's all consensual.^{[8]
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Part 4

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Being Reliable

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Call her when you say you will. If you ended your first date with a promise to call, follow up within the next few days.
- If you reflected on the date and realize you're no longer interested, give her the courtesy of letting her know you don't think it's going to work out.
- If you want to continue the relationship, don't play hard to get. Be consistent in your communication.
Once you've gone on a few dates, a great way to get to know each other better is to introduce the girl you're interested in to your friends. If they hit it off, you might be encouraged to take the relationship to a deeper level.^{[9]
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Consistency is important when you're dating, but you should also throw in some romantic surprises.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Collette Gee
Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist

Expert Interview. 1 May 2020.} The surprises will depend on the personality of the girl - maybe she'd love it if you cooked dinner for her, sent her flowers at work, or planned a fun weekend trip. She'll be impressed by your thoughtfulness if you mix it up sometimes.

Have the Perfect First Date with this Expert Series

First dates can be intimidating. Skip the stress and plan the perfect first date with these expert articles.

Be Calm on a First Date

4

Succeed on a First Date

5

Be Safe on a First Date

6

Impress Your Date

Expert Q&A

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Question

How do I ask a girl out on a date?

Collette Gee
Dating Coach
Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.

Collette Gee

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Plan something fun at a place where you both feel comfortable to show that you're putting effort into getting to know her.

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Question

How can I be romantic with a girl I'm dating?

Collette Gee
Dating Coach
Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.

Collette Gee

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try and surprise her every now and then. It could be a gift or even just a surprise visit at her job during lunch.

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Thank you for your feedback.
If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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Online dating is another great way to make new connections.

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If you're having trouble finding people to date in the same old spots, try something new - joining clubs, volunteering, or playing a coed sport is a great way to meet people.

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Try not to be too picky about who you date. Give people the same benefit of the doubt you'd like them to give you.

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Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

Make the first date special — take her somewhere unique to you that shows thought. But focus on enjoying her company, not planning.
Dress appropriately for the date activity. Good hygiene and a put-together look makes a good impression. But don't overdo cologne.
Project confidence by pursuing activities and goals. Girls are attracted to guys with full lives they are passionate about.
Initiate appropriate physical touch to increase intimacy, but only if she seems comfortable. Consent is mandatory.
Throw in thoughtful surprises sometimes like flowers or a fun trip. They show you listen and care.
Call when you say you will and introduce her to friends to show you're serious.

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Warnings

Parks, coffee shops, soda fountains, etc., are perfect places for first dates. It's best to keep places like water places (beach or pool) for when you're more comfortable with one another. It would be awkward and embarrassing for her to show you so much skin if you just met, and it would be daring for you to want to see her face that way.

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Make sure the girl you're dating or planning to date isn't already going out with someone else. You don't want to get in trouble with a potentially jealous partner.

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